Confrontation

1. “Confrontation” Presenting By: Tahreem Mehmood (M02)

2. “Confrontation” A confrontation is the direct expression of one's view (thoughts and feelings) of the conflict situation and an invitation for the other party to express her or his views of the conflict.

3. Helps to: Couple confrontation with an empathy statement. Encourage self-confrontation and self-exploration. Maintain relationship of trust and good will.

4. To Confront or Not Confront?  The nature of the relationship. The nature of the issues. The ability of the other party to act on the confrontation.

5. “Confrontation Guidelines” Do not "hit and run."  Communicate openly and directly Do not demand change Invite the other person to confront you

6. “Confrontation Skills”   A confrontation about actions should be specific and timely . Personal statements or "I" messages.  "I am concerned about", "I am confused by", "My worry is", "I am frustrated by" are all personal statements . Relationship statements.  These are "I" messages about some aspect of the relationship.  "I appreciate your consulting with me on . . ." is a relationship statement . Perception checks.  Communicate what you perceive the other person to be feeling or thinking . Provide and invite concrete feedback.

7. “Self-Confrontation” The primary emphasis is on examining every aspect of your own life.  Self-Confrontation starts with the basics of salvation, examines the root of problems in our daily walks, and then applies principles to specific problem areas ranging from anger and relationship problems to fear & worry, depression, and life-dominating practices.

8. “Benefits of C onfrontation”

9. Preserving love

10. Empowering

11. Solving a problem

12. Clarifying reality

13. “Overcome Your Fear of Confrontation” If you have the conversation once in your head, don't worry about it. If it comes back and you have it again, perhaps start thinking about holding a real conversation. By the third "in your head" confrontation, you need to start planning how you will deal with the real confrontation, because it looks as if you are going to need to do that.

14. How to Hold a Real, Necessary Conflict or Confrontation Assume you want to confront your coworker for taking all of the credit for the work that the two of you did together on a project. Instead of saying, "You took all the credit, blah, blah, blah ...“ Say instead, "It looks as if I played no role in the Johnson account. My name does not appear anywhere on the document, nor I have been given credit anywhere that I can see."

15. Make your initial statement and stop talking When the person you are confronting responds, allow them to respond. It's a human tendency, but don't make the mistake of adding to your initial statement, to further justify the statement.

16. Avoid arguing during the confrontation Confrontation does not mean fight. Many time it actually ends right there . Do you need to prove the other person right or wrong ? Does someone have to take blame ? Get your frustration off your chest, and move on.

17. Focus on the real issue of the confrontation The other party will either agree or disagree . Negotiate , but don't fight. The issue is you aren't receiving credit, and you want your name on the documentation. That's it. It isn't about blame, about who is right or wrong or anything other than your desired resolution.

18. If you can't stand up for yourself, who will?

19. Conclusion & Recommendations I believe resolution can normally be found with conflicts where there is a sincere desire to do so. Turning the other cheek, compromise, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, finding common ground, being an active listener, service above self, and numerous other approaches will always allow one to be successful in building rapport if the underlying desire is strong enough. However, when all else fails and positional gaps cannot be closed, resolve the issue not by playing favorites, but by doing the right thing.

20. If you desire to make a difference in the world, You must be different from the world… “Dalton”

21. “Thank You”