Fear of being alone and irrational fear

Some of the most prevalent fears that cause people to avoid walking specially on empty roads
Attack or assault,
Mugging (Loot Maar)
Rape
Darkness
Traffic and lack of safe street crossings, sidewalks, and paths for pedestrians.
Crowds
Insects
Fear of worsening a medical condition or suffering - heart attack, stroke, blood sugar crisis, etc.
Fear of being alone when walking without a partner
Discomfort with people looking at your body while walking on the street or on the treadmill at the gym
Fear that you look silly when powerwalking
If you have a fear or know someone who does,
Understand that fear is very real,
It takes time and conditioning to relieve the anxiety associated with the fear.
Simple reassurances are not enough.

1. by Col Mukteshwar Prasad( Retd ), MTech (IITD),CE(I),FIE(I), FIETE,FISLE,FInstOD,AMCSI Contact -9007224278, e-mail –[email protected] for book ”Decoding Services Selection Board-A Career in Armed Foces As An Officer” and SSB guidance and training at Shivnandani Edu and Defence Academy Fear of Being alone and irrational fear

2. Story -1- On a hot summer afternoon I was coming walking alone from Barbigha (nearest market) to my village Toi Garh through a grove called Burhia Bagicaha . We were told that that Bagicha was haunted by Ghosts. Naturally I was apprehensive and kept praying Hanuman . Suddenly I heard a loud sound behind me. Thought Ghost has arrived . Left some items I was carrying and ran for my life probably breaking world record of 10 Sec in 100 m. After running for some distance ,looked back and to my happiness and relief found big leaf of dry palm tree falling which had generated deadly sound. -2- On windy rainy evening had gone to market for doing small purchases for my mother. Shopping took sometime and it got dark. Rain and wind together created additional stress as I was alone cycling down katchcha road again from Barbigha to Toi Garh.Suddenly near near village cremation ground wind became intense and unmanageable. Being a new learner of cycle ,could not balance and hit against a probably a huge Pipal tree on the road. As per rumour Ghosts used to be around this area .Hence for a fraction of time I literally lost senses but picked up my self to find nothing of that sort was existing.

3. Story(From net) -3- It was back in my early teens. Me along with my family had been to Shimla (a hill Station in India) on winter holidays. We were staying at a guest house located at Longwood, Kelston . It was a beautiful bungalow by the mountain side away from the city hustle. It was quite cold and I was roaming around at the mall road, enjoying roasted corns and window shopping. As it started getting late in the evening, I decided to get back to the guest house the join my family. The guest house was about a mile from where I was and a thin serpentine road leads to the destination. The road was completely empty with small street lights illuminating only certain sections of road. It was like alternate light and dark patches over the road lot of fog. It was bit scary as the road was completely deserted with not a single human presence. Just then from nowhere I saw a tall well built man, around 6.5 feet in height, wrapped in a brown shawl walking ahead of me. Getting back my courage, I kept following him. He walked towards the same guest hopuse where I was heading to. As we reached near the guest house, suddenly the man disappeared in one of those dark patches. It was a dead end road and the man could have gone nowhere except the same guest house where we were staying. I rang the door bell and the caretaker received me at the door. When I asked if anyone else came before me, he said there is no one else in that place except his family and ours. I was so scared that night that I slept under a quilt, fully covered from hair to toe!

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5. Reasons for fear/Phobia Under normal circumstances, fear triggers past imprinted successful or unsuccessful history within the Amygdala ( A small area of brain that controls natural emotional reactions, including the fight-or-flight response . ) that allows animals to react quickly to threats in their environment. When you encounter new stimuli similar to what caused the past trauma, amygdala calls up the same feelings and reactions you felt then . Irrational and excessive fear, however, is typically a maladaptive response. In humans, an unwarranted, persistent fear of a certain situation or object, known as specific phobia, can cause overwhelming distress and interfere with daily life. Generic contributions to specific phobia range from roughly 25 to 65 percent , although we do not know which genes have a leading part. Environmental component -A person may develop a phobia after a particularly frightening event. Even witnessing or hearing about( e.g.Ghosts stories) a traumatic occurrence can contribute to its development.

6. Reasons for fear/Phobia Cynthia Hammond a psychologist in her book Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception tells "contemplating the future could be the brain's default mode of operation." Waiting is what the brain is doing when it focuses on the future. It's pausing and focusing and waiting for what will come. It appears that both, we and our brains are skilled and experienced at hanging around in this anticipatory mode. When we encounter situations like Story 1 and 2 our brain starts to look to the future and it starts to wait and asks Has Ghost arrived? Will he harm me as per existing tales? Would I be hurt? Would some one help me? Worse will I survive or die? Story no3 and 4 indicates fear of unknown and environment wherein we are suspicious of unknown person anticipating loot, physical harm ,rape etc Mentally we are waiting for an answer. Sad but prevailing tales and anticipated danger creates enough anxiety and our brain goes in its future-focus mode, waiting and wondering—what comes next? Waiting brings in a boring, dreary area that seems to exist to hold back the optimism It's more about managing mental waiting ,anticipating ,analyzing and creating positive optimistic data base in our unconscious mind for better psychologicalwellbeing .

7. Common Fears That Keep You From Walking alone Some of the most prevalent fears that cause people to avoid walking specially on empty roads Attack or assault, Mugging (Loot Maar ) Rape Darkness Traffic and lack of safe street crossings, sidewalks, and paths for pedestrians. Crowds Insects Fear of worsening a medical condition or suffering - heart attack, stroke, blood sugar crisis, etc. Fear of being alone when walking without a partner Discomfort with people looking at your body while walking on the street or on the treadmill at the gym Fear that you look silly when powerwalking If you have a fear or know someone who does, U nderstand that fear is very real, I t takes time and conditioning to relieve the anxiety associated with the fear . Simple reassurances are not enough.

8. Common fear of Being alone and irrational fear Isolophobia . The fear of being alone ; solitary, isolated. Autophobia - Morbid fear of solitude, or of being left alone, abandoned or ignored. Monophobia- Morbid fear of solitude or of being left alone. A phobic state evoked by specific– ie , only one, mono–animals or situations , characterized by circumscribed anxiety, childhood onset, Eremophobia - Morbid fear of deserted places or of solitude. Phasmophobia -An intense fear of ghosts. For people with a ghost phobia, the mere mention of supernatural things — ghosts, witches, vampires — can be enough to evoke the irrational fear. Irrational Fear- Why we're more afraid of snakes than car accidents? Many specially women are most afraid of walking alone at night, identity theft, safety, looting ,snatching etc as the reason “….., then, is the inability to put that very rational fear into context, where you can continue to function normally rather than being paralyzed by it” We also fear the unexpected—afraid of the dark, anxious when a harmless tone is sounded at unpredictable intervals. The downside of all of this is that being afraid can increase the risk of something bad actually happening . We will discuss Autophobia /Monophobia to understand its psychological implications and ways to counter it

9. What is autophobia ? Autophobia or monophobia is the fear of being alone or lonely. Being alone, even in a usually comforting place like home, can result in severe anxiety for people with this condition. People with autophobia feel they need another person or other people around in order to feel safe. Even when a person with autophobia knows they are physically safe, they may live in fear of: Burglars Strangers Being unloved Being unwanted Coming down with a sudden medical problem Hearing unexpected or unexplained noises

10. Symptoms of autophobia Symptoms of autophobia include: Obsessively worrying about being alone Experiencing fears of what could happen while being alone Feeling detached from your body when alone Experiencing shaking, sweating, chest pain, dizziness, heart palpitations, hyperventilation, and nausea when alone or in a situation where you could soon become alone A feeling of extreme terror when alone or in a situation where you could soon become alone An overwhelming desire to flee when you’re alone Anxiety from anticipating loneliness

11. Causes and road ahead Causes and road ahead It is an irrational anxiety that develops when a person fears they may end up alone . It is considered a situational phobia Even if actual threat does not exists yet they are unable to control symptoms . They are unable to function normally until they no longer feel alone. When alone, they may feel a desperate need to end their solitude as soon as they can. Do not be shy to visit Dr(Psychiatrist/Psychologist) ,who will evaluate the type of phobia and suggest remedial measures. May be you are afflicted by more than one Phobia Visiting Psychiatrist/Psychologist does not meal you are lunatic. Yes our society in India needs to change and accept that 80% of population require psychological intervention/evaluation of some form or the other. Probably we are evolving to accept Anxiety/phobia/personality disorders/ dark triads/personality fractures as normal illness which require medical/psychological intervention

12. Treatment We must accept to enjoy solitude and being alone rather than inflicting wound ourselves If we do have phobia, accepting is the first step and taking measures to get over it is the next Cognitive behavior therapy . This form of psychotherapy, or talk therapy, teaches you to identify ,trace its genesis from childhood till date (If possible)and change unhealthy thoughts, emotions and behaviors. A therapist will help you change your perception and develop the skills to face your fear. Exposure therapy . This type of talk therapy gradually and repeatedly exposes you to your fear ( desensitization therapy). This process takes you through a series of controlled situations that slowly build your tolerance and confidence around the source of your fear. Medications In most cases, psychotherapy alone is successful in treating autophobia . But sometimes medication can be useful in helping reduce a person’s symptoms so that they can recover through psychotherapy.

13. Conclusion “The fear, or more often simply the phobia, of being alone is perhaps responsible for more unhappy relationships, more throttling of psychological development, more claustrophobia and more pent up misery than almost any other: it is – by any reckoning – one of the single greatest contributors to human misery and the driver of some of our weightiest and most unfortunate decisions. If only we were able to get the costs of what is for the most part a simple misapprehension clear in our minds, we might save ourselves a substantial portion of our lives .” Few Penalities for being alone Often make some very wrong choices around the company they keep May end up as cataclysmic irritation, self-disgust, sexual misery, broken finances and the kind of excruciating loneliness One is always at the mercy of the one who fears loneliness less. Tend to develop learned helplessness Sacrifice freedom and happiness Stops us from making friends with our own minds, and exploring our feelings and ideas in a way that only extended stretches of solitude allow. We’ll grow used to cosy mediocrity.