NLP- Rapport Building (LCOO).pptx********

All about building Rapport and developing teamwork

1. NLP- Rapport Building LCOO

2. “You only get one chance in life, so do your best to make it count, in whatever way that is meaningful to you”

3. About our life…….. There is not a single person in this world, who has not encountered challenging situations in life. Our lives can be aptly compared to a jigsaw puzzle. We keep putting the pieces together, manage to complete a puzzle only to encounter another and the process goes on and on. In this chaos, we strive to find some meaning in this madness, which many times lead us to disappointment and despair.

4. Our lives are ruled by reactions, some pleasant, some unpleasant. A pleasant reaction gives us joy whereas unpleasant reactions can leave many of us feeling stressed, angry or sad. We have to deal with ourselves and other human beings, each day. Sparks are bound to fly. Negative feelings are bound to happen. What it would take, to deal with such situations would be, a strong sense of awareness and control of one’s mind and actions. Gaining this power and strength would allow us to lead fulfilling lives and be in control of the – who, what, when, why and how’s – in our lives. We could also call them question marks or limiting patterns.

5. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques (NLP training in action) show the way to create something meaningful out of these limiting patterns. NLP techniques during an NLP training are designed to support important and subtle skills which include dissociation, rapport building, content re-framing, modelling, anchoring, and belief change.

6. NLP training in action may help us uncover through various techniques, mainly: 1. Dissociation: helps to diffuse or overcome negative feelings which might have aroused due to some stressful situations. It restores objectivity and gets rid of feelings of negativity. 2. Rapport Building: Very useful to build relationships, Rapport Building involves the use of techniques like Matching and Mirroring the Outside and the Inside; Pacing and Leading. 3. Reframing Content: Which means, looking at an experience from a different perspective, enabling removing focus from the negative elements of that experience.  In other words, changing the meaning of the sad experience, by reframing the content.

7. NLP training in action may help us uncover through various techniques, mainly: 4. Modelling: Role models have always been a part of our everyday lives.  NLP uses the same techniques to bring harmony and success into our lives by the process of recreating excellence. 5. Anchoring Yourself: Anchoring in NLP means associating a particular, positive emotional response with a particular phrase or sensation. The positive emotion or thought can be connected to a simple gesture which performs the role of an anchor. 6. Belief Changing: More often than not, due to previous experiences, we get judgmental. We tend to form opinions.  These opinions become so strong that we start thinking they are the truth. We form a large amount of limiting beliefs that stops us from truly achieving our potential.

8. NLP Rapport. What is rapport in NLP? It is a sense of connection, acceptance and openness between people, allowing communication to happen on a subtler, automatic level. In this article we explore rapport and link to our unique 1:1 worldwide NLP Training.

9. Rapport is helpful in a number of situations : It helps us to lead .  Sometimes it’s essential to create and maintain rapport. Sometimes it’s helpful to break it – if we have too much rapport with someone, we’re open to them influencing us, which may not be in either of our best interests. Curiously, if rapport has been established and we break it, our client will likely follow us to establish it again. This is called pacing and leading. It helps us to learn. We become highly receptive to subtle information when we are in tune with another and pick up things on a nonverbal level, much like a child learning from a parent.

10. Rapport is helpful in a number of situations : It helps us in creating an accepting environment for others. It’s worth remembering that when we ask good coaching questions, we’re often asking our clients to explore something important to them that they may not have had the courage to explore, Not only their thoughts but their memories and feelings. We’re asking them to share with us the processes they’re going through. We are asking for access to a side of them that very rarely sees daylight and, as such, may be incredibly vulnerable. A state of rapport, therefore, is crucial to allow them to feel supported and accepted as they explore and express these truths.

11. What leads to rapport? The classic NLP approach ro build rapport is to develop ‘likeness’ using any representation system or combination of representational system. However there are other approaches that I’ve found useful in different contexts. ‘Likeness’, this is the basic NLP approach to rapport, and is very powerful. The rest of this pages develops this NLP approach. This includes similarities in each representational system and in meta- programmes . Talking about what’s really important to the other person, this leads them into getting into rapport with us. Finding out what’s important to another person may be as simple as asking them, or it may be much more of a challenge (they don’t know themselves, or they specifically don’t want to say.

12. What leads to rapport? ‘Validate and encourage’ the other person. Again can be very powerful before attempting to ‘correct and convincing.’ * Let the other person feel heard. (This may be an impact of rapport, rather than leading to it, however I consider it so important that I’ve added it as a bullet point), ‘Be vulnerable’, share something personal and risky. Requires courage, and we don’t want to share everything to everyone! Asking for help can be a variation of this. Be a bit ‘alpha’ -sometimes people like to be led.

13. What is being “Alpha:? Individuals who are "a bit alpha" may exhibit a competitive edge and a strong drive to succeed. They may be motivated to outperform others, achieve their goals, and maintain a sense of control or superiority in certain situations.

14. What leads to feeling heard * This is work in progres , however these are some clients suggestions, which compliment the basic NLP approaches: Eye contact from the listener Listener not multi-tasking The listener building on the point that was made in a relevant way, or responding with an appropriate gesture/facial expression (like sadness, shock, a smile, a hug etc.) The listener relating the experience being described back to a similar example in their own experience The listener asking relevant questions to understand more about what was said Not being interrupted

15. NLP Rapport building techniques It is about being ‘like’ or ‘similar’ to someone. It’s difficult to fake rapport focus on similarities rather than differences . If, before a meeting, we create a checklist of similarities and talk through common ground, we will increase rapport. If we already dislike someone, even slightly, we’re likely to focus on how we’re different. A sk a few questions where we’ll get genuine yes answers. This requires careful planning because we must think about what is true in the other person’s reality.

16. A re aware of context. If we want to establish rapport in a business situation, it’s not the time and place to be too informal – save it for the bar afterwards! M irror posture and language. It could also be vocal tone, pace and use of words. If we’re exploring hypnosis and are looking for a deeper rapport, we match breathing rates. T alk about what’s of genuine  interest to the other person .  We will likely speed up the rapport process  if we reflect a client’s values .

17. Demonstrate vulnerability . I like the term ‘courageous vulnerability’, as it’s taking a real risk being venerable, however if we aren’t honest and open with people we’ll never develop a great relationship. If anyone attempts to use what we’ve said against us, we’ve learnt a useful lesson, that we may not be able to trust them, and to me more guarded in the future. A lways start positive. Assume you’ll get into rapport quickly and have a really enjoyable and valuable interaction. However, respond to what actually happens.

18. The dangers of too much When we’re in rapport with a number of depressed people, we’re likely to take on their depression. A working strategy when working with those in negative states is to get into rapport for a short period of time, break it and lead them to somewhere more useful. When we are in a position of authority, we may not want to get into rapport, as we’re likely to be open to too much influence from others. As rapport strengthens empathy and sympathy with other people, it becomes very difficult to disappoint them: As a fact of life, we often have to say  no .

19. Suggested NLP Rapport Exercises Before meeting with someone, find out what you have in common. The mental process will help you get into it. Test what happens. When you first meet someone, take a few seconds to note their  posture . Let yourself match some aspect of their posture in one or two areas (i.e. are they slouching or folding their arms?) When in doubt,  assume you have rapport. Practice breaking rapport (For example, by changing the subject of a conversation to something they might not be interested in.)  and then re-establishing it quickly afterwards.