Topic 2-MARRIAGE and family relation.pptx

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1. MARRIAGE and family relation TOPIC 2: Responding Challenges in Marriage

2. Marriage and its significance “Marriage is the union of the two, the nurturing of new life, and the connecting of the child with the mother and the father,” he said. “A society that flourishes recognizes that and puts conditions in place that safeguard the child being able to grow up with a mother and a father.”

3. Requirements of marriage Consent, Age, and Capacity Created by  FindLaw's team  of legal writers and editors   | Last updated November 13, 2018 Perhaps you think the legal requirements for marriage are confusing and overwhelming. With so much that goes into planning a wedding these days: selecting the perfect dress, choosing a carefully coordinated menu of classic dishes culminating with a show-stopping wedding cake, and finding just the  right venue  -- navigating through the legal requirements might be low on your to-do list .

4. Certain types of marriages are generally prohibited, such as unions between blood relatives. In most states, they can't be closer than third cousins. However, many states allow first cousins to marry if they're of an elderly age and no longer able to conceive. The reality is that once you know what's  required in your state , the steps are simple, leaving you more time to concentrate on the more enjoyable parts of getting married. Although laws differ by state, this article covers general marriage requirements.

5. Marriage Requirements : Consent Before a marital union is recognized by a state, there must be  consent  or agreement between the parties of the union to be married. For consent to exist, both parties must agree to the marriage and there must be no mistake as to the nature of the union; no force must be used upon either party to enter into the union. Once consent is determined to exist, the laws of the individual states determine the status of the couple as spouses (as long as they've satisfied the state's  marriage license requirements ).

6. Marriage Requirements: Age Age is an additional aspect of consent to marry. All states set the age which must be reached by both parties to the marriage before they're able to  legally agree  to become spouses  without  parental permission. For all but two states, this "age of consent" is 18 (in Mississippi the age is 17 for females and 15 for males, while in Nebraska the age is 17). The states vary in determining the  minimum age at which a couple can marry  with parental consent. For the majority of states this age is 16, though in a very few states (including Kansas) the age is as low as 14.

7. Marriage Requirements: Capacity Capacity generally refers to the mental ability of one or both of the parties to the marriage to agree to become spouses. Both parties must be of "sound" mind and capable of agreeing to the marriage. Not all forms of mental illness and insanity serve to render someone incapable of entering into a marriage. A common test of  capacity  is the ability of individuals to understand the nature of marriage and what their responsibilities are to their partners once they enter into the union, such as  financial obligations . Physical incapacity -- and in particular the physical inability to have sexual intercourse -- does not in and of itself render one incapable of marrying, and does not on its face void a marriage that has already occurred.

8. Forbidden Marriages In the Philippines,  polygamy  is not allowed because of the Christian influence in the Philippine culture. The only exception is when you are a Muslim living in the Philippines. Same sex MarriageSame sex Marriage is not allowed in the Philippines. Two people of the same gender having a relationship is somehow socially accepted nowadays. Forbidden Marriages. “When man began to multiply on the face of the land and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive. And they took as their wives any they chose” (Gen. 6:1–2 )

9. In at least one aspect, marriage is like football. In a close game, the winning team is usually the one that made the most significant adjustments in strategy along the way. That’s what effective coaches do at half-time —give the players the key adjustments that will gain them the advantage in the final quarters. A winning marriage requires the same mind-set. A husband and wife need to recognize that surprises requiring proactive early marriage adjustments await them in their relationship.

10. Areas that require adjustment in the early stage of married Some issues triggering the need for adjustments in marriage are major: being raised in a dual- or single-parent family; being an only child or growing up with several siblings; coming from an economically challenged family or a family that had it all; growing up with parents who did not embrace religious faith. The list goes on and on: opposite personalities, differing cultural backgrounds.

11. Some issues triggering the need for adjustments in marriage are major: being raised in a dual- or single-parent family; being an only child or growing up with several siblings; coming from an economically challenged family or a family that had it all; growing up with parents who did not embrace religious faith. The list goes on and on: opposite personalities, differing cultural backgrounds.

12. Minimally, a couple will have to adjust to differing traditions, values, habits, and rules learned in unique backgrounds. As time passes, other adjustments to sexual performance, financial pressures, and job demands may be required. And let’s not forget a big adjustment in a small package-spelled B-A-B-Y! That’s right: the first child. Often the minor differences cause the most frustration and require the most creative flexibility. Someone has said, “We are worn down less by the mountain we climb than by the grain of sand in our shoe.”

13. One of those tiny grains of sand can be the toilet seat. The husband may come from a family of all boys where the toilet seat’s default position was up. If this guy marries a girl from a family of all girls, where the seat remained in the horizontal dimension, you know the potential for conflict and the need for adjustment. In our home, for years a grain of sand was the way I “helped” Barbara by putting my socks in the clothes hamper wrong side out so that “the dirty side got washed.” She has finally trained me to do it the “right” way.

14. How to Handle Conflicts in Marriage Conflict is a normal part of marriage. No matter how much you and your spouse love each other, you won't see eye-to-eye on everything. Having the occasional argument doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong with your marriage, but the way you and your spouse handle your disagreements plays a big role in whether you'll stay together for the long haul. Luckily, healthy conflict resolution is a skill that anyone can learn. You can solve problems with your spouse by talking with each other honestly, fighting fair, and finding ways to avoid unnecessary conflicts in the future.

15. DEAL with it Conflict is inevitable in marriage and can create damage or discovery — we choose which it will be. Discovery means learning new ideas, approaches and solutions if we fight  together  for our marriage. Conflict is not the problem. How we  manage the conflict  is the problem.  DEAL  is a problem-solving tool that stands for: D on’t take the bait. E xplain the impact of the behavior and express your needs and expectations. A sk questions to draw your spouse into dialogue to gain understanding. L et go of the need to manage your spouse’s behavior. Manage your own. Let’s explore each part of the process in more detail.

16. 1. Don’t take the bait Often the motive in conflict is to hook another person into doing what serves one’s own purpose, regardless of the impact on the other. That’s manipulation. Everyone has hot buttons — things that push him or her over the edge. And when someone’s button is pushed, he or she often  reacts  instead of  responds . The difference is that a  response  is a  purposeful, thoughtful  process. A  reaction  is a retort that the speaker usually regrets the moment it leaves his or her lips. Communicate purposefully to build dialogue, not to debate. Pause and consider the best reply, because words can create peace or ignite a power play, which pushes two people further into conflict and further from agreement.

17. 2 . Explain the impact of the behavior and express your expectations This step helps your spouse understand the impact of his or her behavior. It can also help defuse the situation if the conversation has become a shouting match. Describe your spouse’s behavior and how it affects you. Then express your expectations as the conversation continues. For example, if your spouse yells to make a point, overpowering you and dismissing your concerns, it’s important to respond appropriately. Here’s how that conversation might start: “Making that purchase not only disregards the agreement we made, but I feel disregarded, too. It’s a trust issue. We need to discuss this, and I ask you to speak respectfully, without shouting.” Once the impact is explained and expectations for continuing the conversation are established, you’re ready to move ahead.

18. 3. Ask questions to draw your spouse into dialogue Asking yes-or-no questions of your spouse — “Do you recall our conversation about saving money? Did you commit to doing so?” — isn’t a great opener. It tends to eliminate discussion without inviting conversation. Instead use open-ended questions starting with “how” or “what”; these questions draw your spouse into discussion. They welcome dialogue, and this is where discovery comes into play. When you invite your husband’s or wife’s ideas and thoughts — and then listen carefully — you may find a successful route to resolution you hadn’t considered.

19. 4. Let go of the need to control your spouse’s behavior and manage your own Keep this rule in mind:  This conversation is not about me controlling you. I’m here to control myself . Even if you never verbalize this, don’t forget it. Your hands are full managing your own behavior. You can recalibrate the tone and direction of the conversation if you remember this principle. If your spouse struggles with managing his or her emotions during conflict, you may be tempted to try to do it for him or her. Remember that your first priority is to give your spouse insight into how his or her behavior affects you. It’s best done with an attitude that conveys,  I’m here to give you helpful information about me and how this affected me. And I’m certain if you knew how this makes me feel, you’d never want me to experience that.  This approach gives your spouse the benefit of the doubt, which limits perceived offenses and moves the relationship forward. Marriage is a continual work in progress. We can never say, “Well then, we’ve arrived.” Sharpened tools make the work possible. So next time there’s a dustup at your house, DEAL with it!

20. Measures to adopt marriage

21. 1. You’re Pursuing More than Just Happiness . Happiness is important, and the culture holds it up as the greatest good there is. We all want to be happy. It feels like a basic human right in America: even the Declaration of Independence extols “the pursuit of happiness” as inspiration to the colonies to separate from England. But sometimes we use happiness as the ultimate measure of good or success, in our marriages, with our kids, or in life, generally speaking. Author Gary Thomas wrote a great book that I’ve recommended to many called  Sacred Marriage . The subtitle says “What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” His point is a good one: marriage may produce happiness, but a meaningful marriage produces so much more.

22. 2. You’re Persevering through the Hard Times . Nobody likes going through hard times. Avoiding hard times, and staying on calm seas would seem to be a great measure of success in marriage. But that’s not as realistic, or as meaningful, as real life. In life, all people suffer at some point. But remember what God says: “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4). The perseverance and character you build up through,  and sometimes in, the rocky roads of marriage  make marriage meaningful.

23. 3. You’re Inspiring Change in Each Other…for the Better . Accepting your spouse for who they are, and being accepted by your spouse for who you are, is freeing. We should celebrate each other’s unique design and personality. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t gently encourage change in behavior. And that change must start with ourselves first. It can then inspire our spouse to change for the better as well. Marriage can be that impetus that pushes us to get healthier, start new habits, end old habits, and make needed changes. In our marriage, Susan has inspired me by her example. She’s also cheered me on to do more than I would have likely done on my own. She has pushed me to be a better man and husband.

24. 4. You’re Setting an Example to Others . We are tutoring our kids on how to handle life and marriage through our example . They are not just learning from the good and happy times. They are watching, even more intensely, how we walk through the difficult times as well.  How we live our married life is more important than just how happy we are  because each marriage influences the people and world around it . That example can be healthy (when a couple works through joy and pain together) or harmful (when a couple tears itself apart), but either way, it will influence others.

25. 5. You’re Willing to be Dependent, not Just Independent, in Your Marriage . Our culture loves rugged independence, even in relationships. But we are not designed to be independent of our spouses. Yes, we are two unique individuals with unique personalities, but when we got married, we became “one flesh.” We became one physically, emotionally, and spiritually and are to be dependent (not co-dependent) on one another in a healthy way. For our years of marriage, I’ve been dependent on Susan in a good way to help pick my spirits up when I’m down, to help heal my hurts, and to encourage me when I’m discouraged. And as we grow old together, that dependence may grow even stronger. By the way, a healthy dependence on marriage requires humility. Humility recognizes that I’m not meant to be alone in this marriage or in this life. Ultimately, marriage is a tool in our lives that refines us in many ways. I hope this post will help you evaluate how meaningful and rewarding your marriage is, or perhaps can be.

26. THANKYOU FOR LISTENING  Prepared by: Ms. Marisol G. Cano