Widow: Carpenter at WTC Also a Hero
A52
MlSTRULLI from A7
emergency medical worker. That's
been a sore point the past year for the
it Mistrulli family.
"The rest of what he said kind of
made up for it, so I might have acted too
abruptly," Joseph Mistru.1li said later.
"But why not say everybody up there
was a hero, say that everybody was
working together in there to get out?"
Mistrulli said he believes his father
was doing everything he could to get
himself and others out alive. "He would
have figured out how to get out of
there," he said. "I could see him trying
to get the doors open using whatever
tools he could."
MistruJli went after her son, and
both returned in time to hear Wex
ler-Magee, who spoke on behalf of the
families, paying homage to the engi
neers, waiters, carpenters and individu
als of other occupations also los.t.
Exhausted and against her doctor's
orders, on Tuesday night Mistrulli
readied herself for a Mass of Remem
brance at S~. Barnabas Church of the
Apostle in Bellmore, where a commem
orative plaque was dedicated in a Gar
den of Remembrance. Joseph Mistrulli
was one of nine church parishioners
lost on Sept. 11.
Earlier in the day while visiting ber
husband's grave, she said she had be
come disoriented, broke down sobbing
and then drove herself to the hospital.
"My doctor said, '1 don't understand
why you have to go to all ofthese servic
es.' I said, '1 have to. r have to.' "
She was still heavily sedated when
she was driven to the service. She sat
on a pew near the front with her 500;
youngest daughter, Angela, 18, sister,
MaryAnn Pino, and her family.
At 9:30 a.m, Wednesday, Mistrulli
and Pino Bat inside the chapel at Holy
Rood Cemetery. They weren't there
long. however. Upset by a priest's
hero-victim distinction, they walked
out. "Everybody's equal. No life is any
less valuable." MistTUlli said. "That's
why you will sec me bolt out of SOme-
NC'W'Iday Photo I K.a:ro.n Wlles St:lbUe
Diane Anlolos, Ihlrd Irom righi, hugs Philomena Mlslrulll at a ceremony lor Joseph
Mlslrulli yeslenlay. Also allendlng, Irom lett, children Maryann, Angela and Joseph.
thing like this and so will my chil
dren." Whatever the count, all are he
roes, she explained.
The sisters drove from the chapel to
Joseph Mistrulli's grave, which is
among others who died in the towers.
They placed a bouquet of red, white and
blue carnations in a vase on the side of
the granite stone. Mistru1li rearranged
the mementos her family had placed
there: A baby photo of her daughter
Maryann Rosser's son, Joseph, now 4
months old; her daughter Angela's 2002
graduation cap from Harriet Eisman
Community School in Long Beach; sea
shells she and her husband had collect
ed during-their walks at Jones Beach,
and a small pieta of the Virgin Mary
holding Jesus.
Her son and youngest daughter
joined them in the cemetery, each tak
mg turns sitting in his car to listen for
Joseph MistrulJi's name to be read
from the list oflhe lost over the radio.
After leaving the cemetery, Uley
drove to catch the remainder of a cere
mony at Wantagh American Legion
Post No. 1273, where a monument was
erected to the Sept. 11 victims. "It made
me feel honored that they recognized
[my father] as a special person of our
community," said Rosser, who repre
sented the family in her mother's ab
sence.
Back at home that afternoon, Mis
trulli watched television coverage that
replayed the attack for hours, despite
protests from her sister and children.
"I watch what he lived." she shot
back, staring at the set and lighting an
other cigarette. 'When, those towers
came down, so did my world .... I
went right down with them."
Her mourning continued on Wednes
day night, when her family attended a
"ga~hering of remembrance and hope'
hosted by the Bellmore and Merrick In
terfaith Clergy Association at W.C. Me
pham High Scheol. Tributes to Joseph
Mistrulli and 18 others from those com
munities who died in the auacks were
part of the program.
Mistrulli was described as a loving,
caring and devoted family man who
took pride in his work; a talented car
penter for Island Acoustics in Haup
pauge who was working in the north
tower when the first plane hit.
Reflecting on all the remembrances
and services she attended, Mistrulli
said she appreciated something about
each one but none fully gave her the
comfort and recognition she sought.
"The only thing I got something out
of was being at the cemetery (on Sept.
11]; she said. "I'm not surrounded by
politicians .... I'm surrounded by fam
ilies. We all share the grief. the anger.
It felt comforting to be among just us, a
family borne out of tragedy."
Mistrulli said she and her husband
would have le~ yesterday for a lO-day
vacation in the Bahamas they had
planned a year ago, their first alone to
gether in 25 years. Instead, she stood
with family members and wept as a
priest prayed at his empty grave.
"Even though Joe is at .rest . . . I
want him to nave a hero's burial be
cause that's what he was to us," she
said. "My husband was a hero. I want
people to remember him that way."
View a slide show ollhe Mlslruill G
family as II observed the Sepl. 11
anniversary by logging on 10
www.newsday.com.
Donations to Sept. 11 Charities Still Flowing
CHARITIES from A6
$3.2 million in federal compensation, city pension bene
fits that equal his lifetime salary and other city benefits,
according to an analysis by Kenneth Feinberg, the spe
cial master of the federal compensation fund.
The gulf separating the firefighters and other
workers has engendered a certain resentment, even
though the firefighters were killed trying to save the
lives of others.
"1 know they ran into the buildings to rescue ,peo
ple, but my husband was there, also. He died the
same way they did, except that it wasn't my hus
band's job to rescue people; said Cella Yuen, 34, of
Flushing, whose husband, Carr Futures trader Elkin
Yuen, died Sept. 11. He was 32. "Then you hear the
fact that they'll get their husband's salary for life,
~ and I only get a one-time payment."
'" Yuen, who has a daughter, Nicole, 4, said that
'!f in addition to dealing with the emotional pain of
cr losing her husband, she has struggled to adjust to
:ll the loss of her husband's income. Payments from
::: charity have "been a tremendous help," said Yuen,
Ii: who declined to reveal how much she has received. "I
~ don't have to worry constantly - am I going to have
,: enough money this month?" she said.
i3 With such large amounts going to the families of
5 lost rescue workers, the executive director of a Chica
</) go-based charity watchdog group, the American Insei
,: tute of Philanthropy, fears other needy people may
i3 suffer.
~ "1 know people don't want to think about this, but
z there's going to be some homeless people and people on
the lower strata of society who are not going to get some
money because people chose to shower widows of fire
fighters with money," said the AIP'sDanierBorochoff.
The gifts have been so extraordinary that the Inter
nalRevenue Service had to loosen its rules, virtually
changing the definition of charity to allow groups to
distribute it to go to those who aren't technically
needy, without losing their tax-exempt status. The
Red Cross, the disaster organization that collected
the most funds for Sept. 11 relief, also allowed larger
cosh gifts than it had ever given before.
Through the Red Cress program, the average family
ultimately will receive four gifts totalling $115,000 in
cash assistance, the organization said last week. Nearly
400 of'the roughly 3,000 frunilies of the deceased and se
riously injured, however, have declined charity assis
tance, saying they don't need the money.
The large gifts by the Red Cross and other organi
zations were demanded by the donating public, ac
cording to the Red Cross' chief executive in New
York, Robert Bender.
Demotion to JV Sparks Battle
SOCCER from A8
say, 'You're on the team: and then take it away from
the kid."
Granger said he mnde the decision after asking the
school board to clarify the policy, which states: "I'he
purpose of the High School Interscholastic Athletic
Program is to support the educational needs and ath
letic interests primarily of high school students."
Because an unusually large number of high school
players came out for the varsity girls soccer team,
Granger reasoned the presence of eighth-graders
would take away attention and playing time from
the others.
The school board amended its Sports and Athletic
Program policy at its monthly meeting last Monday
to make it more restrictive for middle school stu
dents to play at the high school level and backed
Granger's stance.
"He made the decision because it is in the best in
terest of high school students," Brande told the
crowd.
Thanks to a decades-old program, the state educa
tion department permits seventh- and eighth-grade
athletes to compete at the junior varsity and varsity
level irthey satisfy an established standard. Saman
tha met the selective classification program require
ments for varsity participation. passing Q battery of
physical and psychological exams. Granger initially
cleared her to play, based on recommendations made
by a physician and by coach Butzke.
"I think the district didn't follow its own policy,"
Butzke family attorney Kevin Seaman said. "Their
policy indicates that so long as seventh- and
eighth-graders pass the selective classification pro
cess - which she did - they are allowed to ploy."