Chapter 1Eight Characteristics of the effective helper1

Chapter 1
Eight Characteristics of the effective helper
1



Learning Objectives
Identify toxic behaviors that can be detrimental to the helping relationship. 
Explore a number of characteristics critical to an effective helping relationship, including:
Showing empathy
Being genuine
Exuding acceptance
Being cognitively complex
Embracing wellness
Developing competence
Being culturally sensitive
Developing your “it factor”

2



Toxic Behaviors to Building a Helping Relationship
Toxic behaviors do not lend themselves to healthy relationships or healthy development
First identify toxic behaviors you were exposed to and examine how they have impacted your life. Complete Reflection Exercise 1.1:
Forethought and restraint help avoid toxic behaviors in our helping relationships
Be self-aware and self-monitor to prevent toxic behaviors from seeping into helping relationships
3



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Relationships
Many behaviors critical to a helper’s work
These behaviors help build a working alliance
Building a working alliance is complex but includes:
Empathy
Genuineness
Acceptance
Cognitive complexity
Embracing wellness
Competence
Cultural sensitivity
Helper’s “it factor”


4



Empathy


Genuineness


Acceptance


Cognitive Complexity


Wellness


Competence


Cultural Sensitivity


The It Factor



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Being Empathic
Understanding another person’s point of view

Carl Rogers noted that the empathic person could sense the private world of the client as if it were his or her own, without losing the "as if" feeling

Accept and understand people in their differences

Communicate a sense of acceptance

Can build rapport, help to elicit information, and help facilitate a sense of acceptance between the helper and the client

Complete Reflection Exercise 1.2: Are You Empathic?
5



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Genuine people are aware of their feelings and willing to express them
Helpers must model realness as appropriate
Monitoring one’s emotions is called emotional intelligence
Genuineness is positively linked to positive outcomes
Helpers must address their levels of transparency, realness and emotional intelligence
Are you in touch with your feelings, and can you monitor them and express them at the appropriate times?
Complete Reflection Exercise 1.3: Keeping Secrets

Genuineness
6



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Acceptance
Referred to as unconditional positive regard by Carl Rogers

Allow others to express their points of view without needing to change them

Open to understanding the views of others

Open to feedback

Open to changing their perceptions of the world

Relatively free from biases

Can accept people regardless of dissimilarities

Investing energy in convincing someone to embrace his or her beliefs hampers the ability to listen to the client

Research shows a relationship between the ability to be accepting and being a good listener ...

1. Chapter 1
Eight Characteristics of the effective helper
1



Learning Objectives
Identify toxic behaviors that can be detrimental to the helping
relationship.
Explore a number of characteristics critical to an effective
helping relationship, including:
Showing empathy
Being genuine
Exuding acceptance
Being cognitively complex
Embracing wellness
Developing competence
Being culturally sensitive
Developing your “it factor”

2



Toxic Behaviors to Building a Helping Relationship
Toxic behaviors do not lend themselves to healthy relationships
or healthy development
First identify toxic behaviors you were exposed to and examine
how they have impacted your life. Complete Reflection Exercise
1.1:
Forethought and restraint help avoid toxic behaviors in our
helping relationships
Be self-aware and self-monitor to prevent toxic behaviors from

2. seeping into helping relationships
3



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Relationships
Many behaviors critical to a helper’s work
These behaviors help build a working alliance
Building a working alliance is complex but includes:
Empathy
Genuineness
Acceptance
Cognitive complexity
Embracing wellness
Competence
Cultural sensitivity
Helper’s “it factor”


4



Empathy


Genuineness


Acceptance


Cognitive Complexity


Wellness

3. Competence


Cultural Sensitivity


The It Factor



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Being Empathic
Understanding another person’s point of view

Carl Rogers noted that the empathic person could sense the
private world of the client as if it were his or her own, without
losing the "as if" feeling

Accept and understand people in their differences

Communicate a sense of acceptance

Can build rapport, help to elicit information, and help facilitate
a sense of acceptance between the helper and the client

Complete Reflection Exercise 1.2: Are You Empathic?
5



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Genuine people are aware of their feelings and willing to
express them
Helpers must model realness as appropriate

4. Monitoring one’s emotions is called emotional intelligence
Genuineness is positively linked to positive outcomes
Helpers must address their levels of transparency, realness and
emotional intelligence
Are you in touch with your feelings, and can you monitor them
and express them at the appropriate times?
Complete Reflection Exercise 1.3: Keeping Secrets

Genuineness
6



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Acceptance
Referred to as unconditional positive regard by Carl Rogers

Allow others to express their points of view without needing to
change them

Open to understanding the views of others

Open to feedback

Open to changing their perceptions of the world

Relatively free from biases

Can accept people regardless of dissimilarities

Investing energy in convincing someone to embrace his or her
beliefs hampers the ability to listen to the client

Research shows a relationship between the ability to be
accepting and being a good listener and positive client
outcomes.

5. Complete Reflection Exercise 1.4: Accepting Differences


7



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Being a relativistic, or complex, thinker allows the helper to see
the multiple realities people live by
Is not a dualistic, or black and white, way of thinking
A relativistic thinker is less likely to judge a client because they
live their life differently
Narrative therapy refers to cognitive complexity as thick
descriptions, an understanding of life that is composed of many
layers
Complete Reflection Exercise 1.5: Creating Multiple Narratives
Cognitive Complexity
8



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Wellness
Can you help others if you need help yourself?

Helpers, like all people, struggle with life's concerns

Burnout, stress, vicarious traumatization, compassion fatigue,
psychological issues, and unfinished personal concerns, can
limit the helper’s ability to build a working alliance with a
client

A helper attending counseling has a number of benefits,
including preventing countertransference, or the process of

6. projecting one’s issues onto the client

85% of helpers have attended counseling

Other activities such as support groups, diet, meditation, pray,
exercise, journaling, reading, and more have all been shown to
have positive effects on one's emotional health

Complete Reflection Exercise 1.6: Assessing Your Wellness


9



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Effective human service professionals have a thirst for
knowledge
Knowledge is closely related to competence
Exhibit their quest for knowledge through:
Their studies
Membership in professional associations
Reading professional journals
Ability to broaden and deepen their own approach with clients.
Knowing what techniques work best with specific populations
Complete Reflection Exercise 1.7: How Much Do You Value
Competence?

Competence

Ethical Standards of Human Service Professionals suggests that
helpers:
(1) know the limit and scope of their abilities,
(2) seek appropriate consultation when necessary,
(3) be involved in ongoing professional development activities,
and

7. (4) continually seek out new and better treatment methods.
10



8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors
Regardless of cultural background, it may be more difficult to
understand a client that is compared to someone from your own
cultural or ethnic background
All helpers should be sensitive to their clients and
knowledgeable, or willing to gain knowledge of, their client
Complete Reflection Exercise 1.8

Cultural Sensitivity
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RESPECTFUL Counseling Model
Ten factors that all helpers should consider when working with
clients
R: religious/spiritual identity
E: economic class background
S: sexual identity
P: level of psychological development
E: ethnic/racial identity
C: chronological/developmental challenges
T: various forms of trauma and other threats to one’s sense of
well-being
F: family background and history
U: unique physical characteristics
L: location of residence and language differences

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8. 8 Characteristics of Effective Helping Behaviors: The “It
Factor”
Each of our unique personalities impact the helping relationship
in profound, and perhaps, mysterious ways
Embrace who you are – this is your “it factor”
The “it factor” is the core of who you are and how you act in
relationships
Use core skills along with your “it factor” with your clients
Toxic personality factors are probably not your “it factor”—it’s
probably some leftover unfinished business that you need to
work through
Complete Reflection Exercise 1.9: Your It Factor

13



Bringing it all together
There are eight characteristics reviewed in this chapter that
seem empirically or theoretically related to effectiveness as a
helper
Few individuals have embraced all of these characteristics fully
Periodically we should take a personal inventory to determine
how fully we are embracing these qualities
Complete Experiential Exercise 1.10: A Self Inventory of the
Eight Characteristics
14