Food Delivery Puns _ Delivery Puns _ Food Delivery Jokes.pdf

Food delivery puns are a delicious way to add a little flavor to your conversations about the convenience of getting meals brought straight to your door. Whether you’re a fan of pizza, Chinese takeout, or gourmet cuisine, there’s a food delivery pun that’s sure to satisfy your cravings for wordplay.

From clever quips about burgers and fries to punny jokes about delivery drivers, these humorous references to food delivery are sure to have you hungry for more. So why wait? Get your fill of food delivery puns today and add a dash of fun to your next order.
Food Delivery Puns
A friend of mine lost his job as a courier driver.

Reason: He just wasn’t delivering the goods
Delivery Puns
Once I told a joke to my wife as she was in labor.

I thought I did a good job telling the joke but she told me to focus on the delivery

My wife tried to order contact-less delivery.

I guess that’s not how having a baby works.
Package Delivery Puns
A pregnant lady visits her doctor for a check-up:

Doctor: Do you wish for the baby’s father to be present during the delivery?

Lady: NO, my husband already doubts him a lot.

Being a pizza delivery person and a comedian is hard work.

You have the right stuff, but sometimes you get the delivery wrong. BTW, they fired me from my pizza delivery job

A delivery man who couldn’t get his wife pregnant.

Said his package came in the mail. His package should have come in female

Just heard that there will be a round of applause for couriers and delivery drivers tomorrow.

It will be some time between 9am and 5pm

Why is 2022 pizza delivered like my ex-girlfriend?”

They both do no-contact orders!
Had a night out with a group of Wagon Wheel delivery drivers.

They really take the biscuit

In light of the pandemic, we will no longer use the term “immaculate conception”…

It is being updated to “contactless delivery.”

I don’t always joke about stillborn Greek gods… …

but when I do, it’s all about dead pan delivery.

At the start of the wedding party the organizer announced

that they had ordered a whole pig, but something went wrong with the delivery and the pig would be late/not coming. One guest said: “I hope this will be the last time in this relationship that someone says “what is taking that pig so long?”
What does a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist see every day?

The yeasty crust

A woman pregnant with twins went into labor suddenly, and fell unconscious during the delivery. The hospital contacted the father and he arrived quickly, just in time to witness the birth of his children. His wife had not woken up yet, when the hospital staff asked the father, what to name his new son and daughter?

They had tried for months to decide on the perfect names, but couldn’t reach an agreement, so he did the best he could. When the mother regained consciousness, the father let her know what had happened, and that he had named their twins. “What did you name our son?” She asked him. “Mason.” “Oh,” she replied, “Not really what I

1. FoodDeliveryPuns|DeliveryPuns|FoodDeliveryJokes
Fooddeliverypunsareadeliciouswaytoaddalittleflavortoyourconversations
abouttheconvenienceofgettingmealsbroughtstraighttoyourdoor.Whetheryou’rea
fanofpizza,Chinesetakeout,orgourmetcuisine,there’safooddeliverypunthat’ssure
tosatisfyyourcravingsforwordplay.
Fromcleverquipsaboutburgersandfriestopunnyjokesaboutdeliverydrivers,these
humorousreferencestofooddeliveryaresuretohaveyouhungryformore.Sowhy
wait?Getyourfilloffooddeliverypunstodayandaddadashoffuntoyournextorder.
FoodDeliveryPuns
Afriendofminelosthisjobasacourierdriver.
Reason:Hejustwasn’tdeliveringthegoods
Amanandhiswifegointothedeliveryroomtogivebirth.Thedoctorsays,“we
havethisnewmachine,wherebytheflipofaswitch,thefathercanbearsomeofthe
paintoeasethemother.”Wanttotry?”Everysupportivehusbandsays“sure.”So,the
doctorsetsitto10%andasksthehusbandhowhefeels.“Fine.

2. Youcanturnitup.”Surprised,thedoctorgoesto20%.“More.Thisiseasy”Soon
enough,thedoctorgoesto30%,then40,50,60,allthewayto100%.“I’venevergone
pastthe25%mark”saysthedoctor.Thewifedeliverswithoutmuchpain,andout
comesahealthybaby.Theystayinthehospitalovernightandthengohomethenext
day.Whentheygothome,theyfoundthemilkmandeadontheporch
DeliveryPuns
OnceItoldajoketomywifeasshewasinlabor.
IthoughtIdidagoodjobtellingthejokebutshetoldmetofocusonthedelivery
Mywifetriedtoordercontactlessdelivery.
Iguessthat’snothowhavingababyworks.
Whatdoesanambulanceandapizzadeliverydriverhaveincommon?”
Ifeitherofthemshowsuplatethedeliverygoescold
PackageDeliveryPuns
Apregnantladyvisitsherdoctorforacheck-up:
Doctor:Doyouwishforthebaby’sfathertobepresentduringthedelivery?
Lady:NO,myhusbandalreadydoubtshimalot.

3. Beingapizzadeliverypersonandacomedianishardwork.
Youhavetherightstuff,butsometimesyougetthedeliverywrong.BTW,theyfiredme
frommypizzadeliveryjob
Adeliverymanwhocouldn’tgethiswifepregnant.
Saidhispackagecameinthemail.Hispackageshouldhavecomeinfemale
Justheardthattherewillbearoundofapplauseforcouriersanddeliverydrivers
tomorrow.
Itwillbesometimebetween9amand5pm
Whyis2022pizzadeliveredlikemyex-girlfriend?”
Theybothdono-contactorders!
FoodDeliveryJokes
HadanightoutwithagroupofWagonWheeldeliverydrivers.

4. Theyreallytakethebiscuit
Inlightofthepandemic,wewillnolongerusetheterm“immaculate
conception”…
Itisbeingupdatedto“contactlessdelivery.”
Idon’talwaysjokeaboutstillbornGreekgods……
butwhenIdo,it’sallaboutdeadpandelivery.
Atthestartoftheweddingpartytheorganizerannounced
thattheyhadorderedawholepig,butsomethingwentwrongwiththedeliveryandthe
pigwouldbelate/notcoming.Oneguestsaid:“Ihopethiswillbethelasttimeinthis
relationshipthatsomeonesays“whatistakingthatpigsolong?”
DeliveryJokes
Afriendwantstogiveupbeingapostmantobecomeacomedian,buthisdeliveryis
awful.
WishIgottoseemymateBillmoreoften.Heworksforadeliverycompany,soonly
callsroundwhenI’mout
Ijustorderedanewfonttobedelivered.Ithinkit’scomingbycourier
I’mthedeliverypersonforKohler.Ioftenspendhoursadayondoorstepsandinlobbies
waitingforpeopletoaccepttheirdeliveries
Whatdoesapizzadeliveryboyandagynecologistseeeveryday?
Theyeastycrust
Awomanpregnantwithtwinswentintolaborsuddenly,andfellunconsciousduring
thedelivery.Thehospitalcontactedthefatherandhearrivedquickly,justintimeto
witnessthebirthofhischildren.Hiswifehadnotwokenupyet,whenthehospitalstaff
askedthefather,whattonamehisnewsonanddaughter?

5. Theyhadtriedformonthstodecideontheperfectnames,butcouldn’treachan
agreement,sohedidthebesthecould.Whenthemotherregainedconsciousness,
thefatherletherknowwhathadhappened,andthathehadnamedtheirtwins.“What
didyounameourson?”Sheaskedhim.“Mason.”“Oh,”shereplied,“NotreallywhatI
hadinmind,butit’sagoodname.”Whatdidyounameourdaughter?”“Madaughter”
FunnyPackageDeliveryQuotes
Ifollowedavandownthemotorwaythatwasdeliveringnewspapers.Iliketokeep
upwiththetimes
Forsale:Midwifetextbooks.(Candeliver)
SawanadvertforanAdamandtheAntsmusicbookandtheythrewinafreestandand
deliveredit
Adeliveryguyturnsupattheofficetheotherdaywithabigrollofbubblewrap.
“Wheredoyouwantthis,sir?”WithoutthinkingIreplied,“Justpopitinthecorner.”Took
himthreehours.Badoomtish
FoodDeliveryPunsToEnjoyTheDay
IorderedChinesefoodyesterday.AsmallChinesedeliverydrivercametothedoor,
soIwalkedouttomeethim
Hestartedshouting“isolate,isolate.”Isaidnoyou’renot,Ionlyordered25minutes
ago!
SawanadvertforanAdamandtheAntsmusicbookandtheythrewinafreestand
anddeliveredit
UPSdeliverygirl:About15minutesago,aUPSdeliverygirlcameuptothedoor,
sayingthatmydadhasahugepackage.Itoldmymomandshe’supset
Amazonsaysdroneswillbemakingdeliveriesin‘months’.Somuchfornextday
delivery
JokesaboutPackageDelivery

6. Didyouhearaboutthelivestockdeliveryservice?They…Sorry,I’vebutcheredthe
delivery
Hadtodeliveragiantrollofbubblewrap,thechapsaid“popitinthecorner”.Took
methreehours
AFedExdriver,UPSdriver,andUSPSdriverwalkintoabar…Nevermind,you
won’tgetthedeliveryfromtheFedExdriver.I’vebeenhiredtoresearchvehiclesfor
ScottVanPelt’snewfurdeliverycompany.Mybusinesscardreads“ScottVanPeltPelt
VanScout”
Whatdoyoucallthecatmaildeliveryservice?UPSpspspsps
Afriendhadbredamessengerpigeonwithawoodpecker.Notonlydoesitdelivera
message,itknocksonthedoorwhenitgetsthere.
DeliveryPun
Adeliverymaniscarryingaboxtoahousewhen,suddenly,hedropsit:“Ups!”A
deliverymangetsaparttimejobasamagician…(OC).Hetellsarandomperson
“Pickacard,anycard!”
Can’tcatchabreakasadeliverydriverforanIndianrestaurant…

7. I’vebeenworkingnaanstop.
Iwasshippingcomediansacrossthecountrybutittooktoolong.
FunnyDeliveryJokes
Wheredodadslearnhowtotelltheirjokes?
Inthedeliveryroom.
Hootersshouldstartadeliveryservicecalled?
Knockers.
Gynecologistsandmidwivesaregoodattellingjokes.
It’sallaboutdelivery.
So,Isawafuneralservicedrivingbehindanoldcoupletheotherday.Talkabout
samedaydelivery
TodayIwaswearingashirtwiththefamilycrestofmyfavoritepainterFrida
Kahlo.AfterafewhoursIstartedtogethungryandorderedtakeout.Whenmydelivery

8. personarrivedhehandedovermyfoodwithouttakinganymoneyforbringingittome.I
askedhim“Howcomethere’snocharge?”Hereplied:Iwasgoingtochargeyou,butI
noticedyouhadFridaLivery”
Didyouhearaboutthedeliverydriverforthelocalbakerythathad6extraeyeslocated
allaroundhishead?
He’sseensomeweirdthingsman,butthisguytakesthecake.
JokesaboutShippingPackages
WhywouldJeffBezos’careerinstandupcomedybeasuccess?He’salready
mastereddelivery.
I’mstartingaShakespeareandeliverycompany.Weaimtodeliveryourparcel
tomorrow,andtomorrow,andtomorrow.
MywifeandIjusthadourfirstchild.Amanranintothedeliveryroomandstoleour
child’sumbilicalcord.Thesearchlastedfordays.Wethoughttherewasnohopein
findingthecord.Afewdayslaterwewereadvisedthatthemanandthecordwere
found.Hewashidingonanavelbase.
Doyouknowwhichappisthebestfittobeusedinthedeliveryroom?Discord!
[NSFW]Anursewasdatingadoctorandgotpregnant…Themarrieddoctorbegged
hertokeepitasecretandaskedhertokeepawayfromthepubliceye.Ninemonths
later,shecametothehospitalfordelivery.Atthesametime,apriestwasadmittedfor
havingalargecystinhisprostategland.Thedoctorhadanidea.
Hesedatesthepriestunderanesthesiaandremovesthecyst.Whenthepriestwakes
up,thedoctorgreetshimwiththebabyandtellshimthatitwasamiraclethatthey
foundababyinhisprostrate.Thepriestbeingagodfearingmandidn’tquestionitand
tookthebabyhome.
15yearslater,afterthebabyhadgrownintoayoungboy,thepriestdecidedtohavea
chatwithhim.“Tellme,father,”askedtheboy.“Look,son.I’myourmother”saidthe
priest”thearchbishopisyourfather”.
DirtyJokesaboutPackages

9. ExceptAbortionjokes,becausethereisnodelivery.
Ithinkitwasamistaketocallchildbirth“delivery”.Itshouldhavebeencalled“takeout”
instead.
FordeliverymanJob:WhenIgottomyfirstaddresstherewasalittlestickynotelefton
thedoorsaying,“DearMrdeliveryman,we’reout,pleasehideinthegarage.”Thatwas
eighthoursagoandstillnobody’sfoundme…
Irecentlyorderedonepieceofsodiumandonepieceofcopper.Whenthedeliveryguy
showedup,Inoticedthathewasonlyholdingthesodium.Iaskedhim,“Didyouhave
thecopperwithyou?”Hereplied,“Narightnow,Culater.”
Ihavealowerbacktattoo,andinthedeliveryroomtheyabsolutelyrefusedtogiveme
anepidural(oranypainmedsatall).Iaskedifthetattoowasthereason,andthe
anesthesiologistsaid“no,it’sbecauseyourwifeistheonegivingbirth,notyou,sir.”
Related:ReallyBadDadJokes
MonkeytotheZoo

10. ABritishmanwasdeliveringamonkeytoazoowhenhisvanbrokedown…Herang
therepaircompanybuttheytoldhimtheywon’tbeouttohimforanotherfourhours.He
begantopanicbecausethemonkeyhadtobedeliveredinanhourorhewasn’tgetting
paid.NottwominuteswentbybeforeanIrishmanwasdrivingbyandpulledovertosee
iftheBritishmanneededhelp.“Thankgod,I’mgladtoseeyou”saidtheBritishMan
“Here’s50pounds,Ihaveamonkeyinthebackthatneedstogotothezoo.
Bringhimtomeplease!”“Nobotheratallmate,”saidtheIrishmanasheputthe
monkeyinthebackofhisvan.TwohourswentbyandtheBritishmanisstillwaitingfor
therepaircompany,whenhesawtheIrishmandrivingbywiththemonkeyinthe
passengerseateatinganIceCream.
Furious,hewaveddownthevan.“OiPaddy,Itoldyoutobringthatmonkeytothezoo!
Ipaidyouaswell,whatdoyouthinkyou’redoing?!”“Idid,”repliedtheIrishman,“We
hadalovelytimeandIhadleftmoneyleftoversoI’mbringinghimtothecinemanow.”
Idon’tknowwhatwentwrongwiththedeliverydriverthismorning:Hewasallsmiles
untilIsignedhistouchscreenthing,thenhegotallshoutyandmad.IwassoscaredI
droppedmysharpieandjustclosedthedoor.
CincoDeMayo
CincodeMayoandtheTitanic.Mostpeopledidn’tknowthatbackin1912,Hellmann’s
mayonnaisewasmanufacturedinEngland.Infact,theTitanicwascarrying12,000jars
ofthecondimentscheduledfordeliveryinVeraCruz,Mexico,whichwastobethenext
portofcallforthegreatshipafteritsstopinNewYork..
Thiswouldhavebeenthelargestsingleshipmentofmayonnaiseeverdeliveredto
Mexico..But,asweknow,thegreatshipdidnotmakeittoNewYork.
Theshiphitanicebergandsank,andthecargowasforeverlost.ThepeopleofMexico
,whowerecrazyaboutmayonnaise,andwereeagerlyawaitingitsdelivery,were
disconsolateattheloss.Theiranguishwassogreat,thattheydeclaredaNationalDay
ofMourning,whichtheystillobservetothisday.TheNationalDayofMourningoccurs
eachyearonMay5thandisknown,ofcourse,as–SinkoDeMayo.
JokesaboutDeliveryDrivers
Q.Whydidthedeliverydriverbecomeamusician?

11. Becausehewantedtodropbeatsinsteadofpackages!
Q.Whatdoyoucalladeliverydriverwhocanplaythepiano?
A“maestro-deliverer”!
Howdodeliverydriversstaycoolintraffic?
Theyusetheir“deliv-air”conditioning!
Q.What’sadeliverydriver’sfavoritetypeofmusic?
Parcel-ody!
Q.Whydidthepizzadeliverydrivergototherapy?
Becausehefeltlikehewasalwaysgettingtoomuch“dough”!
PackageDeliveryJokes
Q.Whydidthepackagedeliverydrivertakeupgardening?
Hewantedtoworkonhis“deliverbuds”!
Q.Whatdoyoucallaparcelthat’salwayslate?
Aprocrastipackage!

12. Q.Howdoyouknowyourpackagedeliverydriverisamagician?
Becausetheymakeyourparcels“disappear”andthen“reappear”onyourdoorstep!
Q.Whydidthedeliverytruckapplyforajobatthebakery?
Becauseitwantedtodeliver“bread”!
Q.Whatdidthepackagesaytothedeliverydriveronahotsummerday?
“I’mmelting!Handlewithcare!”
AttheendIwouldconcludebysayingthatfooddeliverypunsareatastywayto
addsomefuntoyourdiscussionsabouttheconvenienceofhavingmeals
deliveredtoyourhome.Whetheryou’reafanofpizza,Chinesetakeout,or
gourmetcuisine,there’safooddeliverypunouttherethatwilltickleyourfunny
bonesandsatisfyyourcravingsforwordplay.
Fromcleverjokesaboutburgersandfriestopunnyquipsaboutdeliverydrivers,
thesehumorousreferencestofooddeliveryofferendlesspossibilitiesforadding
alittlelevitytoyourconversations.Sonexttimeyou’rethinkingaboutplacingan
orderforfooddelivery,consideraddingapunortwotoyourconversation.It
mightjustbetheextraspicethattakesyourmealfromgoodtogreat.

13. Butremember,whilefooddeliverypunscanbeafunandenjoyablewaytopass
thetime,it’simportanttobemindfulofothersandnotusetheminawaythat
couldbehurtfuloroffensive.Puns,likeanyformofhumor,aresubjectiveand
canbeinterpreteddifferentlybydifferentpeople.Souseyourbestjudgmentand
trytokeepthingslightandplayful.Withthatinmind,goaheadandenjoyallthe
fooddeliverypunsyourheart’sdesires.Bonappétit!
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