Chapter 14 - Conflict, negotiation and assertiveness.ppt

IT skills notes 2023

1. Conflict, negotiation and
assertiveness
‘Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping
into a wonderfully responsive sport car,
revving the motor, taking off at high speed
and then discovering the brakes are out of
order.’ Anonymous

2. Chapter objectives
•Define conflict
•Know different signs and causes of conflict
•Understand stages and outcomes of conflict
•Plan the steps for managing conflict
•Understand different methods of resolutions.
•Define negotiation
•Know what makes a good negotiator
•Define assertiveness
•Understand different behavioural styles
•Differentiate between assertiveness and aggressiveness

3. Chapter Outlines
Conflict
•Be honest with yourself
•Individual conflict and tension
•Teams are more important than stars
•Communication is the essential tool of human technology
•The two faces of conflict
•What are the signs of conflict
•Different types of conflict
–Strategic conflict
–Conflict in competition
–Constructive and destructive conflict
–Alleged or perceived conflict
–Open or real conflict
•Causes of conflict
•Stages of conflict
•The outcomes of conflict
•Steps of managing conflict
–Acknowledge your emotions
–Identity the problem
–Plan
–Communicate effectively
–Use an effective close
–Follow up the outcomes
•Organizational methods of resolution
•A checklist when dealing with conflict
•Different conflict handling styles

4. Chapter Outline cont…
Negotiation
•Negotiation principles
•Getting ready for negotiation
•Characteristics of successful negotiator
•Communication during negotiation
•Aspects in the negotiation process
Assertiveness
•Interpersonal communication and assertiveness
•Elements of assertiveness
•Other communication styles
–Passive or non-assertiveness styles
–Aggressive style
•Responding with assertiveness behaviour
•Advantages of assertiveness behaviour
•Assertive versus aggressive behaviour
–Confusion between assertive and aggressive behaviour

5. What do you think?
•‘It is best to keep quiet if you are unfairly
treated, because it is better to remain
calm’ Motivate
•Standing for long period of time in a
queue, you should not complain about it.

6. What is conflict?
•“the state in a relationship or interaction when
two or more people are attempting to have
differing needs met in a way that creates
discomfort and results in negative reactions or
responses”
•Constructive vs. destructive conflict
•A company’s most important assets are its
people
•Understanding + work = successful relationship

7. Be honest with yourself
•Serious conflict doesn’t occur instantly
•Ask yourself a few question during a conflict situation:
–Do I allow my personal insecurities, ambitions, prejudices or
preferences to influence the way I make decisions?
–Do I protect my position by keeping information and contacts to myself?
–Do I support a them-and-us relationship with other groups or
departments within the organization.
–How well do I know myself?
–What is my personal style?
–Does my style clash with that of the people I work with?
–Am I unfair and unreasonable in my attitude towards anyone I work with,
because I am biased and I don’t like my colleagues personal style?
‘you’re wrong’ means ‘I don’t understand you’ – I’m not seeing what
you are seeing. But there is nothing wrong with you, you are
simply not me and that’s not wrong.’ Hugh Prather

8. Individual conflict and tension
•Conflict occurs when the needs of people differs.
•Factors that can cause conflict from within an
individual:
–Individual needs and wants
–Self-concept/self-esteem
–Past experience
–Health
•Conflict can be used in a positive way if both
parties are willing to resolve their differences
and emerge as winners.

9. Teams are more important than
stars
•It will benefit the company when the team
get along
•People should learn to work with others
individually or in a team

10. Communication as a tool
•To cope with change, learn to
communicate by telling the truth
•No progress can be made without you
stating your objectives, needs, listening to
others and coming to a mutual decision

11. The signs of conflict
•Behaves angrily, aggressively, ignoring distress,
intimidation, sarcasm ridicule or resentment.
•First need to acknowledge the problem
•Deal with your feelings
•Understand how others feels.
–Actively listen to what others are saying
–Use inclusive, non-disparaging language that does not put
others down
–Observe what is going on around you
–Know your goals and use honest strategies to achieve them
•When you are in conflict situation, the important thing is
how you would handle it.

12. Different types of conflict
•Strategic conflict
•In competition
•Constructive and destructive conflict
•Alleges or perceived conflict
•Open or real conflict

13. Causes of conflict
•Organizational variables causes conflict
–The environment of an enterprise
–Interdependence of people and departments
–Role-based conflict
–Introduction of change
–Job discrimination
–Power seeking and self interest
–Poorly defined responsibilities
–Management
–Uncertainty
–State of business
–Pressure from clients
–Weather
“ Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade” Leo
Busgalia

14. Five stages of conflict
•There are main stages of conflict
–Discomfort
–Trigger
–General tension and misunderstanding
–Crisis

15. The Iceberg Principles

16. •Observation that in many (if not most) cases
only a very small amount (the ‘tip’) of
information is available or visible about a
situation or phenomenon, whereas the ‘real’
information or bulk of data is either unavailable
or hidden. Essentially, convert conflict sits at
the bottom of the ice berg and overt conflict sits
at the top. When you see the conflict its often
too late and you are now dealing with crisis.

17. Outcomes of conflict
•There are unique and individual ways of dealing with
conflict.
•It may lead to one or more of the following outcomes:
–Becomes aggressive with each other: by establishing superiority
and power (win-lose)
–Ignore the existence of conflict
–Return to the position before the conflict occurred but fail to
communicate about the conflict
–Only resolve the present conflict but not on prevention and
management of future conflict
–Agree to resolve the present conflict and on methods to prevent
and manage the same type of conflict in future

18. Steps for managing conflict
•Acknowledge your emotions
•Identify the problem
•Plan
–Identify your goal/s for the situation
–List the relevant issues
–Identify participants’ needs and wants
–Identify the main options for approaching the situation
–Select the most appropriate solution for all parties
•Communicate effectively
•Use an effective close
•Follow up the outcomes - feedback

19. Organizational methods of
resolution
•Management/executive decision
•Direct negotiation
•Facilitation
•Mediation
•Independent arbitration
•Conciliation
•litigation

20. A checklist when dealing with
conflict
•Negotiation should start by finding a common
interest
•Be prepared to state your real opinions, feelings,
agenda and goals
•The aim is not to beat your opponent
•Goals and agendas can change during
negotiation
•Define your own limits
•Don’t allow difficult people to bully you
•Don’t let past grievance dominate negotiation

21. Different conflict handling styles
•Avoiding: the turtle
•Forcing: the shark
•Accommodating: the teddy bear
•Compromising: the fox
•Collaborating: the wise owl
Johnson (1981)

22. Negotiation
•Is it true that women are better negotiators
than men?
•Is it possible to reach a negotiated
agreement if one of the negotiators
refuses to compromise?

23. What is negotiation?
•It happens when two parties get to an
agreement that will be to the maximum
advantage of all concerned.
•Don’t try to get someone to agree to your
point of view.
•This is a win-win situation

24. Negotiation Principles
•Stick to basics and principles to prevent
unnecessary miscommunication and
conflict
•It is important to look at the issue/problem
and not at the person/people involved
•Be open-minded (look at different
solutions to a problem)
•Always ask the other party how they
arrived at their opinion/solution/idea

25. Getting ready for the negotiation
•Identify the real problem
•Gather all the relevant facts, data, options,
needs and issues
•What is your goal?
•How will the negotiation take place?
•What are the possible outcomes?
A good negotiator first gather all the relevant
information regarding the problem.
Planning and preparations are essential

26. Characteristics of successful
negotiator
•Negotiators can influence the success or failure of the
negotiation process
•Successful negotiators:
–Are dedicated to their jobs
–Have a good understanding about people
–Have a lot of patience
–Are intensely aware of what is happening
–Like to debate and argue positively
–Are flexible
–Are creative
“Most lawyers who win a case advise their clients that “we
have won”, and when justice has frowned upon their
case, that “you have lost”.”

27. Communication during negotiation
•A vital element
•Verbal and non-verbal communication

28. Aspects in the negotiation process
•Weigh up what you want against what the other
person is prepared to give.
•Information is power
•Organize a time that will suite everyone involved
•Select a venue to suite everyone
•Adequate seating and furniture
•Ensure that all relevant parties are informed
•The best way to become good at negotiating is
to is to do it. Practice by reading between the
lines

29. Assertiveness
•“Assertion is a way of communicating
where individuals express their own
thoughts, feelings and needs honestly and
directly and with respect for the thoughts,
feelings and needs of the person to whom
they are talking.” Steinberg
•The goal is to express yourself in a way
that neither yourself and you are hurt.

30. Interpersonal communication and
assertiveness
•You accept responsibility for what you say
and how you say it.
•Involves the ability to express feelings and
opinions openly and honestly,to give good
reasons for a belief for feelings, and to
offer suggestions without attacking the
other person verbally.
•Goal: is to neither avoid conflict nor to
dominate a relationship

31. Elements of assertiveness
•Stand up for yourself
–Are able to say ‘no’
•Act in your own best interest
–Trust your own judgment
–Take initiative and are comfortable with social interaction
•Express feelings honestly and openly
–Able to disagree
–Can show anger
•Exercise your rights and the rights of others
–Realise that other people also have rights which should be
respected
–Show empathy and emotional intelligence

32. 0ther communication styles
•Passive or non-assertive style
–Suppress their feelings to avoid conflict or rejection
–Led by fear
–Submit to the demands of others
–Often hesitate, avoid eye contact, accept blame
unnecessarily, and lack confidence
–Culture plays a role – values of humility, tolerance
and subservience
•I don’t count – you can decide for me.
•My feelings aren’t important
•Am wrong – you’re right

33. Other communication styles cont…
•Aggressive style
–Lash out at the source of their discomfort with little concern for
the situation or feelings of those concern
–Ignore other people’s rights
–Dominate and win situation
–Judgmental, dogmatic (not willing to discuss things), critical and
coercive
–Overbearing, self-opinionated, speaks loudly and abusively,
interrupt others
–They act aggressively because they aren’t taught to handle their
impulses and it act as a form of self-defense when we feel
vulnerable and powerless
‘To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be
right in doing it’

34. Responding with assertive behavior
•Be clear, honest and to the point, with
words and behavior that match the
message.
•Speak about your own
feelings/wants/beliefs without making
judgments about those of others.
•Feel OK about our needs, our actions and
ourselves
•Respect the rights and needs of others.

35. Advantages of assertive behavior
•People’s feelings are not hurt
•People’s self-esteem and confidence are
boosted
•People’s feel respected and heard
•Allow people to gain respect
•Improves the decision-making ability

36. Assertive vs. Aggressive behaviour
Assertiveness Aggressiveness
• Standing up for your rights but
respecting the rights of others
•Making your own decision
•Not just about winning
•Using questions to determine what
people want
•Constructive criticism without putting
people down or blaming them
•The ability to admit to mistakes
•Standing up for your rights but with no
respect for the rights of others
•Making decisions for others
•Only about winning
•Making assumptions
•Blaming others, using deconstructive
criticism hurting peoples feeling
•Not taking responsibility for mistakes

37. Confusion between assertiveness
and aggressiveness
•In both behaviours, people say what they feel,
need and want
•Both allows you to stand up for your own rights
•Both uses ‘I’ messages but aggressiveness use
it excessively
•Confuse assertiveness with arrogance
•Both allows you to change your mind but in
aggressiveness is done in someone else’s
expense

38. Conclusion
•Serious conflict does not occur instantly, it is always the
result of a build up of friction over time. Take time to
know people, understand where they come from and
why they have certain opinions
•Negotiation is not trying to get someone to agree to your
point of view. It involves planning and preparation and
anticipate possible outcomes and put yourself in the
other person’s shoes.
•Assertiveness involves the ability to express feelings and
opinion openly and honestly and also take responsibility
for their actions and feelings. Understand that for every
action there is a reaction.