Conflict behavior

1. Conflict Behavior Conflict Behavior

2. Introduction Introduction ••
Theoretical considerations Theoretical considerations
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Conflict escalation Conflict escalation
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Rational thinking and intractable conflicts Rational thinking and intractable conflicts

3. Theoretical Considerations Theoretical Considerations ••
Conflict schemas Conflict schemas
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Conflict management styles Conflict management styles
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Integrative and distributive outcomes Integrative and distributive outcomes
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Conflict goals Conflict goals

4. Conflict Schemas Conflict Schemas ••
Schemas: Storage systems that preserve Schemas: Storage systems that preserve
emotional learning emotional learning
••
Conflict schemas: powerful set of negative Conflict schemas: powerful set of negative
thoughts and feelings thoughts and feelings
••
Arise from failure to fulfill basic life needs Arise from failure to fulfill basic life needs
(safety, connection, autonomy, (safety, connection, autonomy,
competence) competence)

5. Conflict Schemas Conflict Schemas ••
Abandonment Abandonment
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Deprivation Deprivation
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Subjugation Subjugation
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Mistrust Mistrust
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Unlovability Unlovability
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Exclusion Exclusion
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Vulnerability Vulnerability
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Failure Failure
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Pefectionism Pefectionism
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Entitlement Entitlement

6. Tell Tell--tale Signs tale Signs ••
Repetitive and predictable Repetitive and predictable
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Triggered without conscious thought Triggered without conscious thought
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Fast, strong, inappropriate overreaction Fast, strong, inappropriate overreaction
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Tied to some symbolic meaning Tied to some symbolic meaning

7. Conflict Management Styles Conflict Management Styles ••
Competing Competing
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Accommodating Accommodating
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Avoiding Avoiding
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Compromising Compromising
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Problem Problem--solving (Collaborating) solving (Collaborating)

8. Competing Competing ••
Satisfying own interests to the exclusion Satisfying own interests to the exclusion
of other’s interests of other’s interests
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Lacks flexibility Lacks flexibility
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Two strategies: Two strategies:
––Forcing Forcing
––Contending Contending

9. Accommodating Accommodating ••
Accede to other’s demands Accede to other’s demands
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Highly flexible Highly flexible
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Empower others and suspend personal Empower others and suspend personal
control control
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Variations: Variations:
––Yielding Yielding
––Conceding Conceding

10. Avoiding Avoiding ••
No concern for own or other’s interests No concern for own or other’s interests
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Disempowers Disempowersby denying possibility of by denying possibility of
dealing with conflict dealing with conflict
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Can escalate a conflict Can escalate a conflict
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Variations: Variations:
––Protecting Protecting
––Withdrawing Withdrawing
––Smoothing Smoothing

11. Compromising Compromising ••
Both parties give up some needs to fulfill Both parties give up some needs to fulfill
others others
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Moderate flexibility Moderate flexibility
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Both parties empowered Both parties empowered——shared control shared control
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Variations: Variations:
––Firm compromisers Firm compromisers
––Flexible compromisers Flexible compromisers

12. Problem Solving Problem Solving ••
High concern for own and other’s interest High concern for own and other’s interest
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Explore all possible solutions Explore all possible solutions
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Will not sacrifice own goals Will not sacrifice own goals
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Highly flexible Highly flexible
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Mutual empowerment Mutual empowerment

13. Challenges with Problem Solving Challenges with Problem Solving ••
Requires time and energy Requires time and energy
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High degree of information High degree of information
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Open, safe, secure communication Open, safe, secure communication
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Conflict schemas block collaboration Conflict schemas block collaboration
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Must be willing to ignore power issues Must be willing to ignore power issues

14. Integrative and Distributive Integrative and Distributive
Outcomes Outcomes ••
Integrative behavior flows on a continuum Integrative behavior flows on a continuum
from avoiding to problem from avoiding to problem--solving solving
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Distributive behavior flows on a continuum Distributive behavior flows on a continuum
from competing to accommodating from competing to accommodating
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Compromising is common to both, but has Compromising is common to both, but has
a different meaning depending on the a different meaning depending on the
continuum continuum

15. Choices in Conflict Choices in Conflict ••
Fixed resource or jointly owned problem? Fixed resource or jointly owned problem?
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How should I treat myself and other? How should I treat myself and other?
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Observations: Observations:
––These evaluations represent “good” and “bad” These evaluations represent “good” and “bad”
choices of the choices of the amygdala amygdala(approach or defend) (approach or defend)
––Choices generally made outside of conscious Choices generally made outside of conscious
processing processing

16. Conflict Goals Conflict Goals ••
Content Content
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Relationship Relationship
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Identity Identity
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Process Process

17. Content Goals Content Goals ••
What do I want? What do I want?
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Easy to see and talk about Easy to see and talk about
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Usually external Usually external
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Focus on rights and remedies Focus on rights and remedies

18. Relationship Goals Relationship Goals ••
Who are we in this relationship? Who are we in this relationship?
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Hierarchy issues Hierarchy issues
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Fairness, justice, equal treatment Fairness, justice, equal treatment
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Often real cause of conflict Often real cause of conflict
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Difficult to work with relational goals Difficult to work with relational goals

19. Process Goals Process Goals ••
One party wants to avoid, the other wants One party wants to avoid, the other wants
to confront to confront
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Coercion versus collaboration Coercion versus collaboration
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What communication process is best? What communication process is best?
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Quick processes defeat innovation Quick processes defeat innovation
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Longer processes allow reflection, but are Longer processes allow reflection, but are
confusing and frustrating confusing and frustrating

20. Goals Govern Conflict Goals Govern Conflict ••
Not all goals emerge in all disputes Not all goals emerge in all disputes
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Goals overlap Goals overlap
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Relational and Identity goals drive Relational and Identity goals drive
disputes disputes
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Content goals rarely satisfy parties in Content goals rarely satisfy parties in
conflict conflict
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Conflict parties specialize in one goal Conflict parties specialize in one goal

21. Goal Specialization Goal Specialization
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Parties often have separate goals Parties often have separate goals
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Differing goals = danger +opportunity Differing goals = danger +opportunity
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Specialization reflects relative power Specialization reflects relative power

22. Goals Emerge in Different Forms Goals Emerge in Different Forms ••
Content goals may emerge as relational, Content goals may emerge as relational,
identity or process goals identity or process goals
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Often, parties cannot express relational Often, parties cannot express relational
goals, but act out the content goals goals, but act out the content goals

23. Goals Shift During Conflict Goals Shift During Conflict ••
Prospective goals Prospective goals
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Transactive Transactivegoals goals
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Retrospective goals Retrospective goals

24. Clarifying Conflict Goals Is Clarifying Conflict Goals Is
Important Important ••
Clear goals can be shared Clear goals can be shared
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Clear goals can be altered Clear goals can be altered
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Clear goals are achievable Clear goals are achievable

25. Reframing Goals Reframing Goals ••
A central technique of peacemaking is to A central technique of peacemaking is to
help the parties clarify and reframe all of help the parties clarify and reframe all of
their goals. their goals.

26. Conflict Escalation Conflict Escalation ••
Social processes Social processes
••
Psychological processes Psychological processes

27. Conflict Escalation Conflict Escalation ••
Escalation results from personality Escalation results from personality
regression regression
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Five stages of escalation Five stages of escalation
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Each stage is reciprocal to human Each stage is reciprocal to human
emotional development emotional development

28. Escalation Escalation --Stage I Stage I ••
Typified by normal, everyday life Typified by normal, everyday life
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Conflict resolved through mutual care and Conflict resolved through mutual care and
empathy empathy
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Look for objective solutions in a Look for objective solutions in a
cooperative manner cooperative manner
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Conflict escalates with stubborn behavior Conflict escalates with stubborn behavior

29. Escalation Escalation --Stage II Stage II ••
Fluctuation between cooperation and Fluctuation between cooperation and
competition competition
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Acknowledge common interests, but own Acknowledge common interests, but own
interest is paramount interest is paramount
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Information filter is limited to that favoring Information filter is limited to that favoring
one’s interests one’s interests
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Persuasion, no showing of weakness Persuasion, no showing of weakness
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Conflict escalates when persuasion fails Conflict escalates when persuasion fails

30. Escalation Escalation --Stage III Stage III
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Fear that common ground has been lost Fear that common ground has been lost
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No hope for reasonable outcome No hope for reasonable outcome
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Interaction becomes hostile Interaction becomes hostile
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Parties retain lawyers Parties retain lawyers
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Paradox Paradox----each side believes that by pressuring the other, each side believes that by pressuring the other,
the other will change the other will change
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Stereotyping is applied as negative identification to the Stereotyping is applied as negative identification to the
other other
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Power becomes important as empathy disappears Power becomes important as empathy disappears
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Conflict escalates with a challenge to face or self Conflict escalates with a challenge to face or self --esteem esteem

31. Escalation Escalation --Stage IV Stage IV ••
Cognitive function regresses to 6 years old Cognitive function regresses to 6 years old
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Party cannot consider Other’s thoughts, Party cannot consider Other’s thoughts,
feelings, or perspectives feelings, or perspectives
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Both sides in roles from which they see no Both sides in roles from which they see no
escape escape
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Hostility greatly intensifies Hostility greatly intensifies
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Conflict escalates with attacks on identity Conflict escalates with attacks on identity

32. Escalation Escalation --Stage V Stage V ••
Progressive regression in the form of a comprehensive Progressive regression in the form of a comprehensive
ideology ideology
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Totalizing of antagonistic perspectives Totalizing of antagonistic perspectives
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Sacred values, convictions and superior moral obligations Sacred values, convictions and superior moral obligations
are now at stake are now at stake
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Conflict has reached a hallucinatory Conflict has reached a hallucinatory --narcissistic stage narcissistic stage
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Individual perceptions and evaluations disappear Individual perceptions and evaluations disappear
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Party strives for total control through force and coercion Party strives for total control through force and coercion
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Other responds with counter Other responds with counter--coercion and counter coercion and counter--force force

33. DeDe--Escalation Escalation ••
Parties must be walked back through the Parties must be walked back through the
5 stages 5 stages
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People will start at different stages People will start at different stages
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People will move at different rates People will move at different rates
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Matters will be complicated if attorneys Matters will be complicated if attorneys
are escalated in their own conflict are escalated in their own conflict

34. Rational Thinking Rational Thinking ••
Deductive reasoning requires a major premise, a minor Deductive reasoning requires a major premise, a minor
premise, and a conclusion premise, and a conclusion
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Deductive arguments are evaluated as valid or invalid Deductive arguments are evaluated as valid or invalid
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Establishing minor premises requires inductive reasoning Establishing minor premises requires inductive reasoning
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Inductive arguments can only be evaluated as strong, Inductive arguments can only be evaluated as strong,
moderate, or weak moderate, or weak
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Thus, disagreement on minor premises frequently leads Thus, disagreement on minor premises frequently leads
to conflicting, but perfectly valid, deductive arguments to conflicting, but perfectly valid, deductive arguments
••
With both sides claiming valid deductive arguments, With both sides claiming valid deductive arguments,
conflicts become intractable. conflicts become intractable.

35. Example: Pro Life vs. Pro Choice Example: Pro Life vs. Pro Choice ••
Pro Life Rational Pro Life Rational
Argument: Argument:
––Humans should not be Humans should not be
killed killed
––An embryo has human An embryo has human
status status
––Therefore, embryos Therefore, embryos
should not be killed should not be killed
••
Pro Choice Rational Pro Choice Rational
Argument: Argument:
––Humans should not be Humans should not be
killed killed
––An embryo does not An embryo does not
have human status have human status
––Therefore, choosing to Therefore, choosing to
abort an embryo is not abort an embryo is not
killing killing

36. Valid, But Contradictory Arguments Valid, But Contradictory Arguments
Lead to…. Lead to…. ••
Major premise is the same Major premise is the same
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Minor premise is different Minor premise is different
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Conclusions are opposite Conclusions are opposite
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But, both arguments are valid…… But, both arguments are valid……
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So, which one is the truth? So, which one is the truth?

37. ……Intractable Conflicts Intractable Conflicts ••
Deductive arguments do not claim to be Deductive arguments do not claim to be
truthful, only valid or invalid as to form truthful, only valid or invalid as to form
••
People easily confuse validity with truth People easily confuse validity with truth
••
Therefore, a valid argument can be Therefore, a valid argument can be
characterized as truthful characterized as truthful
••
Opposing views can therefore be rejected Opposing views can therefore be rejected
as false (despite also being valid) as false (despite also being valid)
••
This is the essence of intractability This is the essence of intractability

38. Summary Summary ••
Conflict schemas Conflict schemas
••
Conflict management styles Conflict management styles
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Integrative Integrative--distributive behaviors distributive behaviors
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Conflict goals Conflict goals
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Conflict escalation Conflict escalation
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Intractable conflicts Intractable conflicts

39. The End The End