interview. Granted that he 'let it slip,' though he is a sensible man, (yet maybe it was not a
slip at all, but he meant to make himself clear as soon as possible) but Dounia, Dounia? She
understands the man, of course, but she will have to live with the man. Why! she'd live on
black bread and water, she would not sell her soul, she would not barter her moral freedom
for comfort; she would not barter it for all Schleswig-Holstein, much less Mr. Luzhin's
money. No, Dounia was not that sort when I knew her and . . . she is still the same, of
course! Yes, there's no denying, the Svidrigailovs are a bitter pill! It's a bitter thing to spend
one's life a governess in the provinces for two hundred roubles, but I know she would rather
be a nigger on a plantation or a Lett with a German master than degrade her soul, and her
moral dignity, by binding herself for ever to a man whom she does not respect and with
whom she has nothing in common for her own advantage. And if Mr. Luzhin had been of
unalloyed gold, or one huge diamond, she would never have consented to become his legal
concubine. Why is she consenting then? What's the point of it? What's the answer? It's clear
enough: for herself, for her comfort, to save her life she would not sell herself, but for
someone else she is doing it! For one she loves, for one she adores, she will sell herself!
That's what it all amounts to; for her brother, for her mother, she will sell herself! She will
sell everything! In such cases, 'we overcome our moral feeling if necessary,' freedom, peace,
conscience even, all, all are brought into the market. Let my life go, if only my dear ones
may be happy! More than that, we become casuists, we learn to be Jesuitical and for a time
maybe we can soothe ourselves, we can persuade ourselves that it is one's duty for a good
object. That's just like us, it's as clear as daylight. It's clear that Rodion Romanovitch
Raskolnikov is the central figure in the business, and no one else. Oh, yes, she can ensure his
happiness, keep him in the university, make him a partner in the office, make his whole
future secure; perhaps he may even be a rich man later on, prosperous, respected, and may
even end his life a famous man! But my mother? It's all Rodya, precious Rodya, her first
born! For such a son who would not sacrifice such a daughter! Oh, loving, over-partial
hearts! Why, for his sake we would not shrink even from Sonia's fate. Sonia, Sonia
Marmeladov, the eternal victim so long as the world lasts. Have you taken the measure of
your sacrifice, both of you? Is it right? Can you bear it? Is it any use? Is there sense in it?
And let me tell you, Dounia, Sonia's life is no worse than life with Mr. Luzhin. 'There can be
no question of love,' mother writes. And what if there can be no respect either, if on the
contrary there is aversion, contempt, repulsion, what then? So you will have to 'keep up your
appearance,' too. Is not that so? Do you understand what that smartness means? Do you
understand that the Luzhin smartness is just the same thing as Sonia's and may be worse,
viler, baser, because in your case, Dounia, it's a bargain for luxuries, after all, but with Sonia
it's simply a question of starvation. It has to be paid for, it has to be paid for, Dounia, this
smartness. And what if it's more than you can bear afterwards, if you regret it? The
bitterness, the misery, the curses, the tears hidden from all the world, for you are not a Marfa
Petrovna. And how will your mother feel then? Even now she is uneasy, she is worried, but
then, when she sees it all clearly? And I? Yes, indeed, what have you taken me for? I won't
have your sacrifice, Dounia, I won't have it, mother! It shall not be, so long as I am alive, it
shall not, it shall not! I won't accept it!»
Crime and Punishment
CHAPTER IV 38