Kindness Slides Presbyterian Church at Woodbury

Slides used during my time with the good folks at The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury, NJ, September, 2024.

Based off of the book, "In Defense of Kindness: Why It Matters, How It Changes Our Lives."

1. KINDNESS
With Bruce Reyes-Chow
The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury
September 14, 2024

2. AGENDA
I / Introductions
Setting our Social Location and Context
II / Defining Kindness
What does kindness mean and NOT mean?
III / Kindness and Our Souls
Kindness as acts of self-care and healing?
IV / Kindness and Other Humans
Extending kindness to those around us?
V / Kindness and the Common Good
Envisioning kindness as a discipline that
changes the world?

3. SLIDES
www.slideshare.net/breyeschow

SOCIALS
@breyeschow on everything

AMA/Q&R
Faith, Book, Church, Ministry,
PCUSA, Palestine, etc.

4. INTRODUCTION
Setting my social location
The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury
September 14, 2024

6. ABOUT BRUCE

7. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"

8. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"

9. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"

10. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●

11. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism

12. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995

13. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth

14. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism,
and polarity management
●

15. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●

16. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Vocation: writer

17. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Vocation: writer

18. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Vocation: writer

19. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Vocation: writer

20. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Vocation: writer

21. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Vocation: writer, speaker

22. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Vocation: writer, speaker,
coachsultant

23. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to Robin; Dad to three

24. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to Robin; Dad to three

25. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to one; Dad to three

26. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to one; Dad to three
●Joys: ⚽

27. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to one; Dad to three
●Joys: ⚽ ??????

28. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to one; Dad to three
●Joys: ⚽ ?????? ??????

29. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to one; Dad to three
●Joys: ⚽ ?????? ?????? ??????

30. ABOUT BRUCE
●Generation X, “Whatever"
●Filipino/Chinese rooted in
organizing and activism
●Ordained since 1995
●Ministry: growth, activism, and
polarity management
●Tentmaker: podcaster, writer,
speaker, leadership coach
●Spouse to one; Dad to three
●Joys: ⚽ ?????? ?????? ??????

31. INTRODUCTIONS
Who is in the room?
The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury
September 14, 2024

32. WHO ARE YOU?
Name/Pronouns
Ministry Context
What are you reading, listening
to, or watching these days?
What is something that has
recently brought you joy?

33. Romans 12:9-21
Common English Bible

34. Love should be shown without
pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to
what is good. Love each other like
the members of your family. Be the
best at showing honor to each other.

35. Don’t hesitate to be enthusiastic—be
on fire in the Spirit as you serve God!
Be happy in your hope, stand your
ground when you’re in trouble, and
devote yourselves to prayer.

36. Contribute to the needs of God’s
people, and welcome strangers into
your home. Bless people who harass
you—bless and don’t curse them. Be
happy with those who are happy, and
cry with those who are crying.

37. Consider everyone as equal, and
don’t think that you’re better than
anyone else. Instead, associate with
people who have no status. Don’t
think that you’re so smart.

38. Don’t pay back anyone for their evil
actions with evil actions, but show
respect for what everyone else
believes is good.

39. If possible, to the best of your ability,
live at peace with all people. Don’t try
to get revenge for yourselves, my
dear friends, but leave room for
God’s wrath.

40. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I
will pay it back, says God. Instead, If
your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he
is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing
this, you will pile burning coals of fire
upon his head.

41. Don’t be defeated by evil,
but defeat evil with good.

42. Romans 12:9-21
Common English Bible

There is much evil in the world that
compels us to choose kindness.

43. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
housing,
healthcare,
student debt

44. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
poverty and
economic
divide

45. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
isolation and
mental health

46. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
school/mass
shootings

47. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
policing and
mass
incarceration

48. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
christian
nationalism

49. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
immigration

50. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
homophobia,
queerphobia,
transphobia

51. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
racism, sexism,
ageism, ableism
antisemitism
islamophobia

52. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
the genocide
in palestine

53. CHOOSING KINDNESS
Kindness is not a journey for the meek and mild.
For those of us who have been steeped in ways of
being that are not kind, it takes tremendous
energy to purge ourselves of patterns and
behaviors that are not kind. Every day we have to
choose to commit to live out kindness that day.

54. Colossians 3:12-15
Common English Bible

55. Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and
loved, put on compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness, and patience.

56. Be tolerant with each other and, if
someone has a complaint against
anyone, forgive each other. As the the
Holy One forgave you, so also forgive
each other.

57. And over all these things put on love,
which is the perfect bond of unity.
The peace of Christ must control
your hearts — a peace into which you
were called in one body. And be
thankful people.

58. Colossians 3:12-15
Common English Bible

59. KINDNESS
A Definition.
The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury
September 14, 2024

61. WHEN YOU
THINK OF
KINDNESS?

62. Habit
Tactic
Event
Person
Aspiration

63. REV. DR.
MR. FRED
ROGERS

64. ESTEBAN
DE LOS
REYES

65. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
Kindness is choice to honor the
humanity (holiness) that lies
within each and every one of us.

66. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OURSELVES.

67. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OURSELVES.

68. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OTHERS.

69. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OTHERS.

70. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD THE WORLD.

71. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
KINDNESS NOT AS/JUST NICE.

72. BREAK-OUTS
●How was kindness defined, perceived,
or expressed in your family of origin?
●Does it my definition resonate?
●How does kindness get expressed
most in your life today?

73. BRUCE’S DEFINITION
To be kind is to accept that each person
is a created and complex human
being—and to treat them as if you
believe this to be true.

74. BREAK-OUTS
●How was kindness defined, perceived,
or expressed in your family of origin?
●Does it my definition resonate?
●How does kindness get expressed
most in your life today?

75. GROUP
SHARE
ASK ME
ANYTHING
QUESTION &
RESPONSE

76. BREAK/STRETCH

77. KINDNESS
When and What is Enough?
The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury
September 14, 2024

78. KINDNESS DOES NOT HARM
Because we too often associate kindness
with being “nice” or not rocking the boat, we
assume that to be kind means that we allow
ourselves to be harmed, abused, or taken
advantage of. This is not true.

79. Enough/Self
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

80. Enough/Self
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

81. Enough/Others
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

82. Enough/Others
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

83. BREAK-OUTS II
●Any initial reactions?
●When have you been kind to yourself.
●In what areas of your life do you need
to be more kind to yourself?

84. GROUP
SHARE
ASK ME
ANYTHING
QUESTION &
RESPONSE

85. KINDNESS AND
OTHER HUMANS
Extending kindness to those around us?
The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury
September 14, 2024

86. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
Kindness is choice to honor the
humanity (holiness) that lies
within each and every one of us.

87. NOT OUR
BEST SELVES
Especially during times of stress
and anxiety (Pandemic, Politics,
Personal, Professional), being
humble and reflective enough to
know that none of us are are
always our best selves is an act
of kindness.

88. WE CARE
WHAT WE
CARE ABOUT
Remember that we all view the
world through different lenses.

89. EVERY DAY
KINDNESS
Notice where you are least kind
as you move through the day,
and shift the behavior.

90. MAKE IT
A HABIT
Choose to move the through the
world with a lens of kindness.

91. PRACTICE
APOLOGIZING
Remove transactional nature of
forgiveness and apologies.

92. ONLINE
Be consistent with online
interaction.

93. DISCOURSE AND
DISAGREEMENT
…dipping into the attack well of
body-shaming, racism,
misogyny, and ableism is just
lazy and we play to the
bot-fueled, troll-fed, worst of
who humans can be.

94. BREAK-OUTS III
●Any initial reactions?
●Describe a time someone was kind to you.
●What are barriers to you being kinder?
●Share one situation where you should
show more kindness?

95. GROUP
SHARE
ASK ME
ANYTHING
QUESTION &
RESPONSE

96. KINDNESS AND THE
COMMON GOOD
Envisioning kindness as a discipline that
changes the world?
The Presbyterian Church at Woodbury
September 14, 2024

97. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
There are three ways to
ultimate success:
The first way is to be kind.
The second way is to be kind.
The third way is to be kind.
—Rev. Dr. Fred Rogers

98. KINDNESS &
PROTEST
May our call to civil discourse be
more about listening to the
genuine struggles of our human
sisters, brothers, siblings,
neighbors, and strangers than
about protecting our own
spaces of security.

99. KINDNESS & CIVIL
DISOBEDIENCE
…we force those who are acting
as agents for the system to see
us as human beings and question
what they are doing rather than
see us as ideological opposition
that can be treated with
detachment and disregard.

100. THE BODY OF
CHRIST AND THE
BODY POLITIC
Suffering is not partisan or
political, so my ability to show
empathy should not be either.

101. THE BODY
If one part suffers, every
part suffers with it; if one
part is honored, every part
rejoices with it.
1 Corinthians 12:26

102. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
Every day we make the choice
have to move through the world
with kindness.

103. CHOOSING KINDNESS
Kindness is not a journey for the meek and mild.
For those of us who have been steeped in ways of
being that are not kind, it takes tremendous
energy to purge ourselves of patterns and
behaviors that are not kind. Every day we have to
choose to commit to live out kindness that day.

104. FINAL BREAK-OUT
●Any initial reactions?
●Where is kindness most needed today?
●How could the church show kindness today?
●What is one kindness commitment that you
are willing to make-ish today?

105. FINAL TIME
ASK ME
ANYTHING
QUESTION &
RESPONSE

106. ALL THE LINKS
Today’s Slides:
www.slideshare.net/breyeschow
on the Socials:
@breyeschow on all the things:
Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc.
eMail:
[email protected]
Blatant Shilling of My Stuff
https://linktr.ee/breyeschow