Love Styles

Psychology 6 different love styles more in depth view.

1. Marissa Garcia 2-6-2013 Human Sexuality 1301 Power Point presentation

2. Psychology of Love Styles No one knows for sure why or even how love happens although while studying the different aspects of love, psychologist have found six different styles of love. Eros Love Ludus Love Storge Love Mania Love Pragma Love Agape Love

3. Eros love can be classified as a highly sexually and emotional charged relationship between two people. An eros lover would likely take risk in the relationship. Most eros lovers desire a partner with highly physical attractive qualities.

4. Eros lovers are typically very romantic and seem to burn with desire for their partner. However this type of all consuming love cannot stand the test of time. Once their desires are satisfied, eros lovers typically move on to their conquest and the cycle starts all over again. Eros lovers usually feel genuinely attracted to another individual, although their love tends to be subconsciously a narcissistic love in certain aspects.

5. Some psychologist believe that eros lovers can bring many potentially positives to a relationship. Some eros lovers concern for their partners well being tend to establish healthy communication skills. A study should eros lovers will more likely comprise on conflicts with integrating and obligingly then other love styles. Those who exhibit this love style tend to be more extroverted and agreeable then most, while also having a higher self esteem. Typically eros lovers do not partake in deviate behavior such as drugs, antisocialism, and depression.

6. Ludus Love Style Society tends to look down on those who follow the ludus love style. The ludus lover prefers maintaining several relationships at once then settling down with one person. Ludus lovers prefer the thrill of the chase then actually making a real emotional connection with a partner.

7. Those who lean more to the ludus style tend to remain unsatisfied with their current relationships. Ludus style tend to avoid jealousy in a relationship even though their relationships tend to be short lived. Typically ludus lovers do not tend to concern themselves whether their partner is loyal or not . Most prefer a more sexual relationship then one with more of a deep emotional attachment involved. Neuroticism has found a positive link about Ludus lovers. Showing that people who have unstable personality traits may become involved in game-playing or non-committed behaviors.

8. Ludus lovers tend to use manipulation in order to control or exploit their partners flaws. This can involve lying, cheating, and deception in order to get what they want. Love is only a game to a ludus lover, they never attach to anyone too close so they never are hurt by loves cruel thorn at times yet they never feel loves security either.

9. Storge Love Style Storge love usually comes from a long term friendship that has gradually turned into love. Storge lovers focus more on compatibility and companionship then physical attractiveness. They generally focuses more the friendship aspect of the relationship and not so much on the sexually aspect as some other love styles do.

10. Storge lovers are usually described as loyal and trustworthy. They do not usually fall into love instantly or necessarily have the mindset of love at first sight, they would prefer to cultivate a relationship slowly over time. Storge lovers tend to want to familiarize themselves with their partner before intense emotions come into play. This takes time and a desire to want to understand their partner while feeling genuine feelings of love towards them. This is why they usually are friends with their partner before they fall in love with them. Studies have show the storge lovers have are negatively correlated with depression, impulsiveness, and neuroticism.

11. Storge lovers tend to place a lot of importance on commitment so that neither partner breaks the others trust with infidelity. Sex is usually a less of importance on this love style then others, usually because this love style is more focused on the emotional aspect of belonging and sense of security. This love does not come with a lot of feelings per-say yet is full of security and comfort in this relationship.

12. Mania Love Usually these lovers are very possessive and dependent on their partners. They typically become extremely obsessed with their love partners and cannot think logically when they are not around them. This style of love tends to fall in love very quickly and this love is overwhelming for them turning their very life upside down.

13. Manic lovers tend to have lower self esteem as well as impulse control and some studies have shown they have higher rats for depression and borderline personality disorder Manic lovers desire a lot of attention and affection, when not given this they can perceive this as rejection which does not lead to positive results. Usually they have a lot of anxiety and with this high anxiety levels if they perceive rejection this would only intensify their anxieties.

14. Manic lovers tend to be extremely jealous even if some of their jealousy seen as irrational. They do not do well with loss of contact with their partners no matter the for how short of time. They can become very easily distressed without their partner or at least their whereabouts. When their partners turn their focus away from them, manic lovers tend to try anything in their power to bring their partners attention back on themselves no matter how foolish they may look. Manic lovers love intensely and want to be loved intensely back so much so they become obsessed with the relationship and worry constantly that it will fail .

15. Pragma Love Love is not intense, overwhelming , or crazy yet based on reason and common sense, to a pragma lover. Pragma lovers usually choose a partner with whom they are very compatible with, and are a practical choose for their economical and social status.

16. In cultures where people tend to arrange marriages the people in there relationships tend to have a pragmatic love style. There is no passion or friendship in these marriages but their commitment. If there is a issue or problem they will work as a team to fix this problem. A typical pragma lover does not usually invest their time in love in someone who is “unworthy”. Pragmatic lovers tend to look at each of their assets an look for the best “deal” in their lover before attaching themselves to them. Usually pragmatic lovers are faithfully and loyal as long nothing changes in their partner, if this happens they ten to look for another partner. Pragmatic lovers tend worry about social then personal qualities.

17. When entering a relationship they will go down a check list of person to see if they are truly compatible; “Will this person get along with my family”, “Will this person earn enough money to make life easier”, and “Will they be a good mother/father?”. When they find someone who meets much of their criteria they then look at their family history, and check up on their partners family in order to find out about hereditary problems. Pragmatic lovers tend to break up or divorce for practical reasons. These relationships do not typically fall though due to the fact that pragmatic lovers have more realistic expectations in their relationship. When they do get divorced though they may actually plan the divorce for some future date, such as after putting their youngest child through school or reach a certain goal then they can get a divorce.

18. Agape Love Agape lovers tend to want to care and nurture their partner. This love tends to be a compassionate, caring, and selfless type of love. Usually this love is more so associated with God in many religions.

19. Agapic love is extremely forgiving assumes when their partner mess up it is only because of ignorance or through error that is not in their partners typical personality. If an agapic lover partner had an affair and an child was conceived with another man he would love the child and concern himself with the pain his partner may be feeling. If his partner contracted a STI from someone he would more than likely help his partner through the hard times and help medically then be anger over the affair. Agapic lovers do not tend to simply fall in love their love is always open to others even strangers as long as you let them in. They offer a more spiritual love that does not seek to gain personal rewards. An agapic lover cares about their partners happiness and would let go of their partners if they seemed happier somewhere else.

20. With agapic lovers they tend to forget their own needs and desires. Nothing wrong with agapic love unless taken to the extremes this can cause a problem. Religiously agape love style due to its self-sacrificing nature can be seen as admirable. Most agapic lovers would be willing to accept a partner who is tied with immoral or illegal activities even with they personally disapproved of such behaviors. An agapic lover will always support their partner no matter what. They are also very patient with the behaviors of their partners.

21. Love Styles that go best with each other Positive matches Negative matches Storge - with agape or pragma A gape- 90% of other styles M anic - with agape, and under the right circumstances Eros Pragma - with agape or storge ·Ludus - best with Ludus · Eros - under the right circumstances with Storge, agape, Pragma, or manic, if that person meets erotic ideals Agape- Ludus Manic- Ludus Storge-Ludus Manic- Pragma Pragma- Eros

22. Works Cited Cook, T. (2012).  Individual differences in attitudes toward love . (Master's thesis)Retrieved from http:// csuchico-dspace.calstate.edu Hock, R. (2012).  Human sexuality  . (3rd ed., p. 117). Pearson Education. Merriam- Pigg . (2012).  Lovers and friends: Understanding friends with benefits relationships and those involved . (Master's thesis)Retrieved from http:// scholarworks.sjsu.edu King, V. (2009, October 14).  Six styles of love . Retrieved February 13, 2013, from http:// valarie-king.hubpages.com Paludi , M. (2012).  The psychology of love . Santa Barbra, California : (1993, March 01) The Colors of Love. Psychology Today. Retrieved February 6, 2013 , from http://www.psychologytoday.com (2012, June 06) America's Eros Love Addiction. The ignorant fisherman blog. Retrieved February 6, 2013, from http:// www.theignorantfishermen.com Constructed types of love . ( n.d .). Retrieved February,13,2013 from http://cla.calpoly.edu denise . ( n.d .).  Love verus lust . Retrieved February 14,2013, from http:// lovevslust.weebly.com Understanding the colors of love . (2012, January 01). Retrieved February 15,2013,from http:// www.squidoo.com