Six Love Styles Brief Lesson

1. Jenny A. ArmentroutJenny A. Armentrout
Class Plan: Class Plan: Interpersonal RelationshipsInterpersonal Relationships
Wood, J. (2004). Interpersonal communication: Everyday
encounters,
4
th
Ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing.

2. Six Love StylesSix Love Styles
Eros (erotic)—
passionate, romantic
love
Mania (manic)—
obsessive, jealous, and
addictive
Ludus (ludic)—
love as a game
Agape (agapic)—
kind, unselfish love
Storge (storgic)—
love as friendship or
companionship
Pragma—
very pragmatic/practical
approach to love

3. Eros (erotic)—passionate, romantic Eros (erotic)—passionate, romantic
lovelove
Erotic lovers fall in love early in a relationshipErotic lovers fall in love early in a relationship
Love is very intense and passionateLove is very intense and passionate
The erotic lover wants to share everything with The erotic lover wants to share everything with
and know everything about the loved oneand know everything about the loved one
The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an
idealized manneridealized manner
The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from
his/her partner is one of hurt and intense painhis/her partner is one of hurt and intense pain
The erotic lovers reaction to separation from the The erotic lovers reaction to separation from the
partner is agony and despairpartner is agony and despair

4. Ludus (ludic)—love as a gameLudus (ludic)—love as a game
Ludics have a very self-oriented approach to loveLudics have a very self-oriented approach to love
Ludics minimize dependency and commitmentLudics minimize dependency and commitment
They rarely or never become overly involved with one They rarely or never become overly involved with one
partner and often have more than on partner at a timepartner and often have more than on partner at a time
They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their
partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind
of advantage over their partnerof advantage over their partner
Usually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasureUsually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasure
Reaction to criticism from the partner is indifferenceReaction to criticism from the partner is indifference
Reaction to separation form the partner is immediate Reaction to separation form the partner is immediate
replacementreplacement

5. Storge (storgic)—love as friendship Storge (storgic)—love as friendship
or companionshipor companionship
Storge love develops slowlyStorge love develops slowly
It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport, It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport,
respect, companionship, sharing, and concernrespect, companionship, sharing, and concern
It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy
and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid, and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid,
stable, enduring lovestable, enduring love
Reaction to criticism from partner—give and Reaction to criticism from partner—give and
take, compromise, constructive problem solvingtake, compromise, constructive problem solving
Reaction to separation—feelings of emptiness Reaction to separation—feelings of emptiness
and lossand loss

6. Mania (manic)—is obsessive, Mania (manic)—is obsessive,
jealous, and addictivejealous, and addictive
Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational, Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational,
possessive, and consumed by thoughts of their loverspossessive, and consumed by thoughts of their lovers
They need constant attention, affection, and They need constant attention, affection, and
togethernesstogetherness
Love is very intenseLove is very intense
They frequently put love to the test for the sake of They frequently put love to the test for the sake of
reassurancereassurance
Their reaction to criticism from partner—defensiveness, Their reaction to criticism from partner—defensiveness,
hypersensitivity, and sometimes violencehypersensitivity, and sometimes violence
Their reaction to separation—instant panicTheir reaction to separation—instant panic

7. Agape (agapic)—kind, unselfish Agape (agapic)—kind, unselfish
lovelove
Agape love is altruisticAgape love is altruistic
The agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving The agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving
in a relationship than from receivingin a relationship than from receiving
The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient, The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient,
understanding, loyal, and willing to make understanding, loyal, and willing to make
sacrifices for his/her partnersacrifices for his/her partner
Their reaction to criticism form the partner—Their reaction to criticism form the partner—
willingness to change or compromisewillingness to change or compromise
Their reaction to separation from the partner—Their reaction to separation from the partner—
sense of loss and emptinesssense of loss and emptiness

8. Pragma—is a very pragmatic or Pragma—is a very pragmatic or
practical approach to lovepractical approach to love
It is very logical and realisticIt is very logical and realistic
Pragmatic lovers are self-orientedPragmatic lovers are self-oriented
Their reaction to criticism from the partnerTheir reaction to criticism from the partner
—defensive, analytical—defensive, analytical