Tact and Diplomacy

Find out what it means to have tact and diplomacy. Read on how people often invalidate each other and how you can improve on your effective listening skills.

1. T A C T A N D D I P L O M A C Y

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TACT & DIPLOMACY

Diplomacy encompasses having your needs met in a way that doesn’t demoralize
or hurt another person.


Tact includes taking the feelings of another into consideration and responding in a
way that demonstrates understanding.


Examples of lack of Tact and Diplomacy are numerous

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INVALIDATION
Invalidation is the opposite of Tact & Diplomacy

Invalidation is an action that denies another person’s right to be heard and
understood.

1% invalidate « intentionally to spread the misery and manipulate/control
others »
20% invalidate «semiconsciously as a defense mechanism. »
All of us do it at times, most not intentionaly.

Invalidation is

The most lethal form of emotional abuse,
Killing confidence, creativity, and individuality

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10 WAYS TO INVALIDATE OTHERS

Ordering: « I don’t care what your boss told you to do. I’m telling you that I want you to do it my way. »

Threatening: « If you don’t come up to speed, you won’t have your job for long . »

Preaching: « You shouldn’t act like a spoiled brat. Maybe that worked when you were a little girl, but it doesn’t work
now. »

Giving solution: « Just ignore him when he insults you. »

Lecturing: « In this economy, you should be happy you have a job. »

Critisizing: « You are wrong. »

Blaming: « John was the one who insisted we do it this way. »

Minimising: « Oh, it’s not that bad. ». « You are making too much of this. »

Changing the subject: « Forget about your concerns. How was your weekend? »

Denial: « You will see it differently tomorrow. »

6. TACT & DIPLOMACY
STARTS WITH EFFECTIVE
LISTENING

7. 5 WAYS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING

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1 FOCUSING

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2 ENCOURAGING
ANYONE CAN TALK FOR HOURS IF ENCOURAGED ( a.o nodding or saying yes, …)

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3 PARAPHRASING
Person A talks about something important to them

Person B encourages Person A by repeating selected words and phrases

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4 REFLECTING FEELINGS

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5 SUMMARIZING & SUPPORTING

13. SOURCE
SOFT SKILLS REVOLUTIONS
MAXIME KAMIN

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