Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein_text.pdf
AnaMariaVasconcelos3
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Sep 24, 2023
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About This Presentation
Literature
Slide Content
Alice
Ochs
Vi’,*'
jhelSilverstein istheauthorof
THEGIVINGTREE,andmany
|
otherbooksofproseandpoetry.He
alsowritessongs,drawscartoons,
sings,playstheguitar,andhasa
goodtime.
. .
• *
Where
^Sidewalk
Ends
thepoemsanddrawingsof
ShelSilverstein
Ochs
Vi’,*'
jhelSilverstein istheauthorof
THEGIVINGTREE,andmany
|
otherbooksofproseandpoetry.He
alsowritessongs,drawscartoons,
sings,playstheguitar,andhasa
goodtime.
. .
• *
Where
^Sidewalk
Ends
thepoemsanddrawingsof
ShelSilverstein
Where
the
poems
&
drawings
of
ShelSilverstein
mlHarperCollin^Publishers
the
poems
&
drawings
of
ShelSilverstein
mlHarperCollin^Publishers
WHERETHESIDEWALKENDS
Copyright©1974byEvilEyeMusic,Inc.
AllrightsreservedNopartofthisbookmaybeusedor
reproduced inanymannerwhatsoeverwithoutwritten
permissionexceptinthecaseofbriefquotationsembodied
incriticalarticlesandreviews.PrintedintheUnitedStates
ofAmericaForinformationaddressHarperCollins
Children'sBooks,adivisionofHarperCollinsPublishers,
10East53rdStreet,NewYork,NY.10022.
LibraryofCongressCatalogCardNumber:70-105486
ISBN06-025667-2
ISBN06-025668-0 (lib.bdg.)
Copyright©1974byEvilEyeMusic,Inc.
AllrightsreservedNopartofthisbookmaybeusedor
reproduced inanymannerwhatsoeverwithoutwritten
permissionexceptinthecaseofbriefquotationsembodied
incriticalarticlesandreviews.PrintedintheUnitedStates
ofAmericaForinformationaddressHarperCollins
Children'sBooks,adivisionofHarperCollinsPublishers,
10East53rdStreet,NewYork,NY.10022.
LibraryofCongressCatalogCardNumber:70-105486
ISBN06-025667-2
ISBN06-025668-0 (lib.bdg.)
INVITATION
Ifyouareadreamer,comein.
Ifyouareadreamer,awisher,aliar,
Ahope-er,apray-er,amagicbeanbuyer ..
.
Ifyou'reapretender,comesitbymyfire
Forwehavesomeflax-goldentalestospin.
Comeini
Comein!
9
Ifyouareadreamer,comein.
Ifyouareadreamer,awisher,aliar,
Ahope-er,apray-er,amagicbeanbuyer ..
.
Ifyou'reapretender,comesitbymyfire
Forwehavesomeflax-goldentalestospin.
Comeini
Comein!
9
W/iPfip
MAGIC
Sandra'sseenaleprechaun,
Eddietouchedatroll,
Lauriedancedwithwitchesonce,
Charliefoundsomegoblins'gold.
Donaldheardamermaidsing,
Susyspiedanelf.
ButallthemagicIhaveknown
I'vehadtomakemyself.
11
Sandra'sseenaleprechaun,
Eddietouchedatroll,
Lauriedancedwithwitchesonce,
Charliefoundsomegoblins'gold.
Donaldheardamermaidsing,
Susyspiedanelf.
ButallthemagicIhaveknown
I'vehadtomakemyself.
11
HOMEMADEBOAT
Thisboatthatwejustbuiltisjustfine
—
Anddon'ttrytotellusit'snot.
Thesidesandthebackaredivine
—
It'sthebottomIguessweforgot
Thisboatthatwejustbuiltisjustfine
—
Anddon'ttrytotellusit'snot.
Thesidesandthebackaredivine
—
It'sthebottomIguessweforgot
IMUSTREMEMBER
Imustremember ..
.
TurkeyonThanksgiving,
PuddingonChristmas,
EggsonEaster,
ChickenonSunday,
FishonFriday,
Leftovers,Monday.
Butah,me—I'msuchadunce.
Iwentandatethemallatonce.
THEFOURTH
Oh
CRASH!
my
BASH!
it's
BANG!
the
ZANG!
Fourth
WHOOSH!
of
BAROOOM!
July
WHEW!
Imustremember ..
.
TurkeyonThanksgiving,
PuddingonChristmas,
EggsonEaster,
ChickenonSunday,
FishonFriday,
Leftovers,Monday.
Butah,me—I'msuchadunce.
Iwentandatethemallatonce.
THEFOURTH
Oh
CRASH!
my
BASH!
it's
BANG!
the
ZANG!
Fourth
WHOOSH!
of
BAROOOM!
July
WHEW!
IMA
ICKLEME,PICKLEME,TICKLEMETOO
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo
Wentforarideinaflyingshoe.
"Hoorayl"
"Whatfun!"
"It'stimeweflew!"
SaidIckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
Icklewascaptain,andPicklewascrew
AndTickleservedcoffeeandmulliganstew
Ashigher
Andhigher
Andhighertheyflew,
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo,
Overthesunandbeyondtheblue.
"Holdon!”
"Stayin!"
"Ihopewedo!"
CriedIckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo
Neverreturnedtotheworldtheyknew,
Andnobody
Knowswhat's
Happenedto
DearIckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
17
ICKLEME,PICKLEME,TICKLEMETOO
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo
Wentforarideinaflyingshoe.
"Hoorayl"
"Whatfun!"
"It'stimeweflew!"
SaidIckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
Icklewascaptain,andPicklewascrew
AndTickleservedcoffeeandmulliganstew
Ashigher
Andhigher
Andhighertheyflew,
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo,
Overthesunandbeyondtheblue.
"Holdon!”
"Stayin!"
"Ihopewedo!"
CriedIckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
IckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo
Neverreturnedtotheworldtheyknew,
Andnobody
Knowswhat's
Happenedto
DearIckleMe,PickleMe,TickleMetoo.
17
ffi,
1
CAPTAINHOOK
CaptainHookmustremember
Nottoscratchhistoes.
CaptainHookmustwatchout
Andneverpickhisnose.
CaptainHookmustbegentle
Whenheshakesyourhand.
CaptainHookmustbecareful
Openin'sardinecans
Andplayingtagandpouringtea
Andturnin'pagesofhisbook.
LotsoffolksI'mgladIain't
—
ButmostlyCaptainHook!
HUGO'WAR
Iwillnotplayattugo'war.
I'dratherplayathugo'war,
Whereeveryonehugs
Insteadoftugs,
Whereeveryonegiggles
Androllsontherug,
Whereeveryonekisses,
Andeveryonegrins.
Andeveryonecuddles,
Andeveryonewins.
19
1
CAPTAINHOOK
CaptainHookmustremember
Nottoscratchhistoes.
CaptainHookmustwatchout
Andneverpickhisnose.
CaptainHookmustbegentle
Whenheshakesyourhand.
CaptainHookmustbecareful
Openin'sardinecans
Andplayingtagandpouringtea
Andturnin'pagesofhisbook.
LotsoffolksI'mgladIain't
—
ButmostlyCaptainHook!
HUGO'WAR
Iwillnotplayattugo'war.
I'dratherplayathugo'war,
Whereeveryonehugs
Insteadoftugs,
Whereeveryonegiggles
Androllsontherug,
Whereeveryonekisses,
Andeveryonegrins.
Andeveryonecuddles,
Andeveryonewins.
19
IT'SDARKINHERE
Iamwritingthesepoems
Frominsidealion,
Andit'sratherdarkinhere.
Sopleaseexcusethehandwriting
Whichmaynotbetooclear.
Butthisafternoonbythelion'scage
I'mafraidIgottoonear.
AndI'mwritingtheselines
Frominsidealion,
Andit'sratherdarkinhere.
epo-
Iamwritingthesepoems
Frominsidealion,
Andit'sratherdarkinhere.
Sopleaseexcusethehandwriting
Whichmaynotbetooclear.
Butthisafternoonbythelion'scage
I'mafraidIgottoonear.
AndI'mwritingtheselines
Frominsidealion,
Andit'sratherdarkinhere.
epo-
V
t
FLAG
OnestarisforAlaska ..
.
OnestarisforNebraska ..
.
OnestarisNorthDakota ..
.
OnestarisMinnesota ..
.
Therearelotsofotherstars.
ButIforgetwhichonestheyare.
COLORS
Myskiniskindofsortofbrownish
Pinkishyellowishwhite.
Myeyesaregreyishblueishgreen,
ButI'mtoldtheylookorangeinthenight.
Myhairisreddishblondishbrown,
Butit'ssilverwhenit'swet.
AndallthecolorsIaminside
Havenotbeeninventedyet.
t
24
t
FLAG
OnestarisforAlaska ..
.
OnestarisforNebraska ..
.
OnestarisNorthDakota ..
.
OnestarisMinnesota ..
.
Therearelotsofotherstars.
ButIforgetwhichonestheyare.
COLORS
Myskiniskindofsortofbrownish
Pinkishyellowishwhite.
Myeyesaregreyishblueishgreen,
ButI'mtoldtheylookorangeinthenight.
Myhairisreddishblondishbrown,
Butit'ssilverwhenit'swet.
AndallthecolorsIaminside
Havenotbeeninventedyet.
t
24
JoeyJoeytookastone
Andknocked
Down
The
Sun!
Andwhoosh! itswizzled
Downsohard.
Andbloomp! itbounced
Inhisbackyard.
Andglunk! itlanded
Onhistoe!
Andtheworldwasdark.
Andthecornwouldn'tgrow.
Andthewindwouldn'tblow.
Andthecockwouldn'tcrow,
AnditalwayswasNight,
Night,
Night.
Allbecause
Ofastone
AndJoe.
o
LISTENTOTHEMUSTN'TS
ListentotheMUSTN'TS,child,
ListentotheDON'TS
ListentotheSHOULDN'TS
TheIMPOSSIBLES,theWON'TS
ListentotheNEVERHAVES
Thenlistenclosetome
—
Anythingcanhappen,child,
ANYTHINGcanbe.
27
Andknocked
Down
The
Sun!
Andwhoosh! itswizzled
Downsohard.
Andbloomp! itbounced
Inhisbackyard.
Andglunk! itlanded
Onhistoe!
Andtheworldwasdark.
Andthecornwouldn'tgrow.
Andthewindwouldn'tblow.
Andthecockwouldn'tcrow,
AnditalwayswasNight,
Night,
Night.
Allbecause
Ofastone
AndJoe.
o
LISTENTOTHEMUSTN'TS
ListentotheMUSTN'TS,child,
ListentotheDON'TS
ListentotheSHOULDN'TS
TheIMPOSSIBLES,theWON'TS
ListentotheNEVERHAVES
Thenlistenclosetome
—
Anythingcanhappen,child,
ANYTHINGcanbe.
27
I
JIMMYJETANDHISTVSET
I'lltellyouthestoryofJimmyJet
—
AndyouknowwhatItellyouistrue.
HelovedtowatchhisTVset
Almostasmuchasyou.
Hewatchedallday,hewatchedallnight
Tillhegrewpaleandlean,
From"TheEarlyShow"to"TheLateLateShow"
Andalltheshowsbetween.
Hewatched tillhiseyeswerefrozenwide.
Andhisbottomgrewintohischair.
Andhischinturnedintoatuningdial.
Andantennaegrewoutofhishair.
AndhisbrainsturnedintoTVtubes.
AndhisfacetoaTVscreen.
Andtwoknobssaying"vert."and"horiz."
Grewwherehisearshadbeen.
Andhegrewaplugthatlookedlikeatail
SowepluggedinlittleJim.
AndnowinsteadofhimwatchingTV
Weallsitaroundandwatchhim.
JIMMYJETANDHISTVSET
I'lltellyouthestoryofJimmyJet
—
AndyouknowwhatItellyouistrue.
HelovedtowatchhisTVset
Almostasmuchasyou.
Hewatchedallday,hewatchedallnight
Tillhegrewpaleandlean,
From"TheEarlyShow"to"TheLateLateShow"
Andalltheshowsbetween.
Hewatched tillhiseyeswerefrozenwide.
Andhisbottomgrewintohischair.
Andhischinturnedintoatuningdial.
Andantennaegrewoutofhishair.
AndhisbrainsturnedintoTVtubes.
AndhisfacetoaTVscreen.
Andtwoknobssaying"vert."and"horiz."
Grewwherehisearshadbeen.
Andhegrewaplugthatlookedlikeatail
SowepluggedinlittleJim.
AndnowinsteadofhimwatchingTV
Weallsitaroundandwatchhim.
Oh,ifyou'reabird,beanearlybird
Andcatchthewormforyourbreakfastplate.
Ifyou'reabird,beanearlyearlybird
—
Butifyou'reaworm,sleeplate.
1
SKYSEASONING
I
Apieceofsky
Brokeoffandfell
Throughthecrackintheceiling
Rightintomysoup,
KERPLOP!
Ireallymuststate
ThatIusuallyhate
Lentilsoup,butIate
Everydrop!
Deliciousdelicious
(Abitlikeplaster).
Butsodelicious,goodnesssake
—
Icouldhaveeatenalentil-souplake.
It'samazingthedifference
Abitofskycanmake.
t
Andcatchthewormforyourbreakfastplate.
Ifyou'reabird,beanearlyearlybird
—
Butifyou'reaworm,sleeplate.
1
SKYSEASONING
I
Apieceofsky
Brokeoffandfell
Throughthecrackintheceiling
Rightintomysoup,
KERPLOP!
Ireallymuststate
ThatIusuallyhate
Lentilsoup,butIate
Everydrop!
Deliciousdelicious
(Abitlikeplaster).
Butsodelicious,goodnesssake
—
Icouldhaveeatenalentil-souplake.
It'samazingthedifference
Abitofskycanmake.
t
THEFARMERANDTHEQUEEN
W
W
y
c«,
PANCAKE?
Whowantsapancake,
Sweetandpipinghot?
GoodlittleGracelooksupandsays,
"I'lltaketheoneontop."
Whoelsewantsapancake.
Freshoffthegriddle?
TerribleTheresasmilesandsays,
"I'lltaketheoneinthemiddle."
34
SMART
Mydadgavemeonedollarbill
'CauseI'mhissmartestson,
AndIswapped itfortwoshinyquarters
'Causetwoismorethanone!
AndthenItookthequarters
AndtradedthemtoLou
Forthreedimes—
I
guesshedon'tknow
Thatthreeismorethantwo!
lustthen,alongcameoldblindBates
Andjust'causehecan'tsee
Hegavemefournickelsformythreedimes,
Andfourismorethanthree!
AndItookthenickelstoHiramCoombs
Downattheseed-feedstore.
Andthefoolgavemefivepenniesforthem,
Andfiveismorethanfour!
AndthenIwentandshowedmydad.
Andhegotredinthecheeks
Andclosedhiseyesandshookhishead
—
Tooproudofmetospeak!
35
c«,
PANCAKE?
Whowantsapancake,
Sweetandpipinghot?
GoodlittleGracelooksupandsays,
"I'lltaketheoneontop."
Whoelsewantsapancake.
Freshoffthegriddle?
TerribleTheresasmilesandsays,
"I'lltaketheoneinthemiddle."
34
SMART
Mydadgavemeonedollarbill
'CauseI'mhissmartestson,
AndIswapped itfortwoshinyquarters
'Causetwoismorethanone!
AndthenItookthequarters
AndtradedthemtoLou
Forthreedimes—
I
guesshedon'tknow
Thatthreeismorethantwo!
lustthen,alongcameoldblindBates
Andjust'causehecan'tsee
Hegavemefournickelsformythreedimes,
Andfourismorethanthree!
AndItookthenickelstoHiramCoombs
Downattheseed-feedstore.
Andthefoolgavemefivepenniesforthem,
Andfiveismorethanfour!
AndthenIwentandshowedmydad.
Andhegotredinthecheeks
Andclosedhiseyesandshookhishead
—
Tooproudofmetospeak!
35
Meandhim
Himandme.
We'realwaystogether
Asyoucansee.
Iwishhe'dleave
SoI'dbefree
I'mgettingalittlebit
Tiredofhe,
Andhemaybeabit
Boredwithme.
Onmoviesandladies
Wecannotagree.
Iliketodance
Helovestoski.
Helikesthemountains
Ilovethesea.
Ilikehotchocolate
Hewantshistea.
Iwanttosleep
Hehastopee.
He'smeanerandduller
Andfatterthanme.
ButIguessthere'sworsethings
Wecouldbe
—
Insteadoftwowecouldbethree.
Meandhim
Himandme.
I'MMAKINGALIST
I'mmakingalistofthethingsImustsay
forpoliteness.
Andgoodnessandkindnessandgentleness,
sweetnessandrightness:
Hello
Pardonme
Howareyou?
Excuseme
Blessyou
?
» MayI?
Thankyou
Goodbye
IfyouknowsomethatI'veforgot,
, pleasesticktheminyoureye!
Himandme.
We'realwaystogether
Asyoucansee.
Iwishhe'dleave
SoI'dbefree
I'mgettingalittlebit
Tiredofhe,
Andhemaybeabit
Boredwithme.
Onmoviesandladies
Wecannotagree.
Iliketodance
Helovestoski.
Helikesthemountains
Ilovethesea.
Ilikehotchocolate
Hewantshistea.
Iwanttosleep
Hehastopee.
He'smeanerandduller
Andfatterthanme.
ButIguessthere'sworsethings
Wecouldbe
—
Insteadoftwowecouldbethree.
Meandhim
Himandme.
I'MMAKINGALIST
I'mmakingalistofthethingsImustsay
forpoliteness.
Andgoodnessandkindnessandgentleness,
sweetnessandrightness:
Hello
Pardonme
Howareyou?
Excuseme
Blessyou
?
» MayI?
Thankyou
Goodbye
IfyouknowsomethatI'veforgot,
, pleasesticktheminyoureye!
—-L: -
Forwehaveacodecalledthe"scratch-tapcode,"
Andhereiswhatwedo
—
Iscratchhistoe ...oncemeans,"Hello"
Andtwicemeans,"Howareyou?"
Threemeans,"Doesitlooklikerain?"
Fourtimesmeans,"Don'tcry."
Fivetimesmeans,"I'llscratchyouajoke."
Andsixtimesmeans,"Goodbye,""Goodbye,"
Sixtimesmeans,"Goodbye.”
Andheanswersmebytappinghistoe
—
Oncemeans,"Hello,friend."
Twotapsmeans,"It'sverynicetofeelyourscratchagain."
Threetapsmeans,"It'slonelyhere
Withmyheadinthetopofthesky."
Fourtapsmeans,"Todayaneaglesmiledassheflewby."
Fivetapsmeans,"Oops,Ijustbumped
myheadagainstthemoon."
Sixmeans,"Sigh"andsevenmeans,"Bye"
Andeightmeans,"Comebacksoon,soon,soon,"
Eightmeans,"Comebacksoon."
AndthenIscratchathousandtimes,
Andhetapswithabappity-bimm,
Andhelaughssohardheshakesthesky
—
ThatmeansI'mticklinghim!
39
Forwehaveacodecalledthe"scratch-tapcode,"
Andhereiswhatwedo
—
Iscratchhistoe ...oncemeans,"Hello"
Andtwicemeans,"Howareyou?"
Threemeans,"Doesitlooklikerain?"
Fourtimesmeans,"Don'tcry."
Fivetimesmeans,"I'llscratchyouajoke."
Andsixtimesmeans,"Goodbye,""Goodbye,"
Sixtimesmeans,"Goodbye.”
Andheanswersmebytappinghistoe
—
Oncemeans,"Hello,friend."
Twotapsmeans,"It'sverynicetofeelyourscratchagain."
Threetapsmeans,"It'slonelyhere
Withmyheadinthetopofthesky."
Fourtapsmeans,"Todayaneaglesmiledassheflewby."
Fivetapsmeans,"Oops,Ijustbumped
myheadagainstthemoon."
Sixmeans,"Sigh"andsevenmeans,"Bye"
Andeightmeans,"Comebacksoon,soon,soon,"
Eightmeans,"Comebacksoon."
AndthenIscratchathousandtimes,
Andhetapswithabappity-bimm,
Andhelaughssohardheshakesthesky
—
ThatmeansI'mticklinghim!
39
RAIN
Iopenedmyeyes
Andlookedupattherain,
Anditdrippedinmyhead
Andflowedintomybrain,
AndallthatIhearasIlieinmybed
Istheslishity-sloshoftheraininmyhead.
Istepverysoftly,
Iwalkveryslow,
Ican'tdoahandstand
—
Imightoverflow.
SopardonthewildcrazythingIjustsaid
—
I'mjustnotthesamesincethere'sraininmyhead.
40
TWOBOXES
Twoboxesmetupontheroad.
Saidoneuntotheother,
"Ifyou'reabox,
AndI'mabox.
Thenyoumustbemybrother.
Oursidesarethin,
We'recavin'in,
Andwemustgetnothinner."
Andsotwoboxes,handinhand,
Wenthometohavetheirdinner.
Iopenedmyeyes
Andlookedupattherain,
Anditdrippedinmyhead
Andflowedintomybrain,
AndallthatIhearasIlieinmybed
Istheslishity-sloshoftheraininmyhead.
Istepverysoftly,
Iwalkveryslow,
Ican'tdoahandstand
—
Imightoverflow.
SopardonthewildcrazythingIjustsaid
—
I'mjustnotthesamesincethere'sraininmyhead.
40
TWOBOXES
Twoboxesmetupontheroad.
Saidoneuntotheother,
"Ifyou'reabox,
AndI'mabox.
Thenyoumustbemybrother.
Oursidesarethin,
We'recavin'in,
Andwemustgetnothinner."
Andsotwoboxes,handinhand,
Wenthometohavetheirdinner.
TRUESTORY
Thismorning Ijumpedonmyhorse
Andwentoutforaride.
Andsomewildoutlawschasedme
Andtheyshotmeintheside.
SoIcrawledintoawildcat'scave
Tofindaplacetohide,
Butsomepiratesfoundmesleepingthere,
Andsoontheyhadmetied
Toapoleandbuiltafire
Underme—Ialmostcried
Tillamermaidcameandcutmeloose
Andbeggedtobemybride.
SoIsaidI'dcomebackWednesday
ButImustadmitIlied.
ThenIranintoajungleswamp
ButIforgotmyguide
AndIsteppedintosomequicksand,
AndnomatterhowItried
Icouldn'tgetout,untilImet
AwatersnakenamedClyde,
Whopulledmetosomecannibals
Whoplannedtohavemefried.
Butaneaglecameandswoopedmeup
Andthroughtheairweflied,
Buthedroppedmeinaboilinglake
Athousandmileswide.
Andyou'llneverguesswhatIdidthen
—
IDIED.
Thismorning Ijumpedonmyhorse
Andwentoutforaride.
Andsomewildoutlawschasedme
Andtheyshotmeintheside.
SoIcrawledintoawildcat'scave
Tofindaplacetohide,
Butsomepiratesfoundmesleepingthere,
Andsoontheyhadmetied
Toapoleandbuiltafire
Underme—Ialmostcried
Tillamermaidcameandcutmeloose
Andbeggedtobemybride.
SoIsaidI'dcomebackWednesday
ButImustadmitIlied.
ThenIranintoajungleswamp
ButIforgotmyguide
AndIsteppedintosomequicksand,
AndnomatterhowItried
Icouldn'tgetout,untilImet
AwatersnakenamedClyde,
Whopulledmetosomecannibals
Whoplannedtohavemefried.
Butaneaglecameandswoopedmeup
Andthroughtheairweflied,
Buthedroppedmeinaboilinglake
Athousandmileswide.
Andyou'llneverguesswhatIdidthen
—
IDIED.
BOACONSTRICTOR
Oh,I'mbeingeaten
Byaboaconstrictor,
Aboaconstrictor,
Aboaconstrictor.
I'mbeingeatenbyaboaconstrictor,
AndIdon'tlikeit—onebit.
Well,whatdoyouknow?
It'snibblin'mytoe.
Oh,gee.
It'suptomyknee.
Ohmy.
It'suptomythigh.
Oh,fiddle.
It'suptomymiddle.
Oh,heck,
It'suptomyneck.
Oh,dread,
It'supmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff.
.
.
Oh,I'mbeingeaten
Byaboaconstrictor,
Aboaconstrictor,
Aboaconstrictor.
I'mbeingeatenbyaboaconstrictor,
AndIdon'tlikeit—onebit.
Well,whatdoyouknow?
It'snibblin'mytoe.
Oh,gee.
It'suptomyknee.
Ohmy.
It'suptomythigh.
Oh,fiddle.
It'suptomymiddle.
Oh,heck,
It'suptomyneck.
Oh,dread,
It'supmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff.
.
.
34
46
Oldchippedvases,halfshoelaces,
Gatlin'gunsthatwouldn'tshoot.
Leakyboatsthatwouldn'tfloat
Andstopped-uphornsthatwouldn'ttoot.
Butterknivesthathadnohandles,
Copperkeysthatfitnolocks,
Ringsthatweretoosmallforfingers,
Dried-upleavesandpatched-upsocks.
Worn-outbeltsthathadnobuckles,
'Lectrictrainsthathadnotracks,
Airplanemodels,brokenbottles,
Three-leggedchairsandcupswithcracks.
HectortheCollector
Lovedthesethingswithallhissoul
—
Lovedthemmorethanshiningdiamonds,
Lovedthemmorethanglistenin'gold.
Hectorcalledtoallthepeople,
"Comeandsharemytreasuretrunk!"
Andallthesillysightlesspeople
Cameandlooked ...andcalleditjunk.
46
Oldchippedvases,halfshoelaces,
Gatlin'gunsthatwouldn'tshoot.
Leakyboatsthatwouldn'tfloat
Andstopped-uphornsthatwouldn'ttoot.
Butterknivesthathadnohandles,
Copperkeysthatfitnolocks,
Ringsthatweretoosmallforfingers,
Dried-upleavesandpatched-upsocks.
Worn-outbeltsthathadnobuckles,
'Lectrictrainsthathadnotracks,
Airplanemodels,brokenbottles,
Three-leggedchairsandcupswithcracks.
HectortheCollector
Lovedthesethingswithallhissoul
—
Lovedthemmorethanshiningdiamonds,
Lovedthemmorethanglistenin'gold.
Hectorcalledtoallthepeople,
"Comeandsharemytreasuretrunk!"
Andallthesillysightlesspeople
Cameandlooked ...andcalleditjunk.
INVENTION
I'vedoneit,I'vedoneitl
GuesswhatI'vedone!
Inventedalightthatplugsintothesun.
Thesunisbrightenough.
Thebulbisstrongenough.
But,oh,there'sonlyonethingwrong ..
.
Thecordain'tlongenough.
48
I'vedoneit,I'vedoneitl
GuesswhatI'vedone!
Inventedalightthatplugsintothesun.
Thesunisbrightenough.
Thebulbisstrongenough.
But,oh,there'sonlyonethingwrong ..
.
Thecordain'tlongenough.
48
THEGOOGIESARECOMING
Thegoogiesarecoming,theoldpeoplesay,
Tobuylittlechildrenandtakethemaway.
Fiftycentsforfatones,
Twentycentsforleanones.
Fifteencentsfordirtyones.
Thirtycentsforcleanones,
Anickeleachformeanones.
Thegoogiesarecoming,andmaybetonight,
Tobuylittlechildrenandlockthemuptight.
Eightycentsforhuskyones.
Quarterfortheweakones,
Pennyeachfornoisyones,
Adollarforthemeekones.
Fortycentsforhappyones,
Elevencentsforsadones.
And,kiddies,whentheycometobuy.
Itwon'tdoanygoodtocry.
But—
justbetweenyourselfandI
—
Theyneverbuythebadones!
Thegoogiesarecoming,theoldpeoplesay,
Tobuylittlechildrenandtakethemaway.
Fiftycentsforfatones,
Twentycentsforleanones.
Fifteencentsfordirtyones.
Thirtycentsforcleanones,
Anickeleachformeanones.
Thegoogiesarecoming,andmaybetonight,
Tobuylittlechildrenandlockthemuptight.
Eightycentsforhuskyones.
Quarterfortheweakones,
Pennyeachfornoisyones,
Adollarforthemeekones.
Fortycentsforhappyones,
Elevencentsforsadones.
And,kiddies,whentheycometobuy.
Itwon'tdoanygoodtocry.
But—
justbetweenyourselfandI
—
Theyneverbuythebadones!
FORSALE
Onesisterforsale!
Onesisterforsale!
Onecryingandspyingyoungsisterforsale!
I'mreallynotkidding.
Sowho'llstartthebidding?
DoIhearadollar?
Anickel?
Apenny?
Oh,isn'tthere,isn'tthere,isn'tthereany
Onekidwhowillbuythisoldsisterforsale,
Thiscryingandspyingyoungsisterforsale?
Onesisterforsale!
Onesisterforsale!
Onecryingandspyingyoungsisterforsale!
I'mreallynotkidding.
Sowho'llstartthebidding?
DoIhearadollar?
Anickel?
Apenny?
Oh,isn'tthere,isn'tthere,isn'tthereany
Onekidwhowillbuythisoldsisterforsale,
Thiscryingandspyingyoungsisterforsale?
SLEEPINGSARDINES
"I'mtiredofeatingjustbeans,"saysI,
SoIopenedacanofsardines.
Buttheystartedtosqueak,
"Hey,we'retryin'tosleep.
Weweresnuggleduptight
Tillyouletinthelight.
Youbigsillysap,letusfinishournap.
Nowcloseupthelid!"
Sothat'swhatIdid. ..
.
Willsomebodypleasepassthebeans?
3< 54
ONEINCHTALL
Ifyouwereonlyoneinchtall,you'drideawormtoschool.
Theteardropofacryingantwouldbeyourswimmingpool.
Acrumbofcakewouldbeafeast
Andlastyousevendaysatleast,
Afleawouldbeafrighteningbeast
Ifyouwereoneinchtall.
Ifyouwereonlyoneinchtall,you'dwalkbeneaththedoor,
Anditwouldtakeaboutamonthtogetdowntothestore.
Abitoffluffwouldbeyourbed,
You'dswinguponaspider'sthread,
Andwearathimbleonyourhead
Ifyouwereoneinchtall.
You'dsurfacrossthekitchensinkuponastickofgum.
Youcouldn'thugyourmama,you'djusthavetohugherthumb.
You'drunfrompeople'sfeetinfright,
> Tomoveapenwouldtakeallnight,
(Thispoemtookfourteenyearstowrite
—
'CauseI’mjustoneinchtall).
I
55
A
"I'mtiredofeatingjustbeans,"saysI,
SoIopenedacanofsardines.
Buttheystartedtosqueak,
"Hey,we'retryin'tosleep.
Weweresnuggleduptight
Tillyouletinthelight.
Youbigsillysap,letusfinishournap.
Nowcloseupthelid!"
Sothat'swhatIdid. ..
.
Willsomebodypleasepassthebeans?
3< 54
ONEINCHTALL
Ifyouwereonlyoneinchtall,you'drideawormtoschool.
Theteardropofacryingantwouldbeyourswimmingpool.
Acrumbofcakewouldbeafeast
Andlastyousevendaysatleast,
Afleawouldbeafrighteningbeast
Ifyouwereoneinchtall.
Ifyouwereonlyoneinchtall,you'dwalkbeneaththedoor,
Anditwouldtakeaboutamonthtogetdowntothestore.
Abitoffluffwouldbeyourbed,
You'dswinguponaspider'sthread,
Andwearathimbleonyourhead
Ifyouwereoneinchtall.
You'dsurfacrossthekitchensinkuponastickofgum.
Youcouldn'thugyourmama,you'djusthavetohugherthumb.
You'drunfrompeople'sfeetinfright,
> Tomoveapenwouldtakeallnight,
(Thispoemtookfourteenyearstowrite
—
'CauseI’mjustoneinchtall).
I
55
A
ENTERTHISDESERTEDHOUSE
Butpleasewalksoftlyasyoudo.
Frogsdwellhereandcricketstoo.
Ain'tnoceiling,onlyblue
Jaysdwellhereandsunbeamstoo.
Floorsareflowers—takeafew.
Fernsgrowhereanddaisiestoo.
Whoosh,swoosh—too-whit,too-woo,
Batsdwellhereandhootowlstoo.
Ha-ha-ha,hee-hee,hoo-hoooo,
Gnomesdwellhereandgoblinstoo.
Andmychild,Ithoughtyouknew
Idwellhere ...andsodoyou.
Butpleasewalksoftlyasyoudo.
Frogsdwellhereandcricketstoo.
Ain'tnoceiling,onlyblue
Jaysdwellhereandsunbeamstoo.
Floorsareflowers—takeafew.
Fernsgrowhereanddaisiestoo.
Whoosh,swoosh—too-whit,too-woo,
Batsdwellhereandhootowlstoo.
Ha-ha-ha,hee-hee,hoo-hoooo,
Gnomesdwellhereandgoblinstoo.
Andmychild,Ithoughtyouknew
Idwellhere ...andsodoyou.
SICK
"Icannotgotoschooltoday/'
SaidlittlePeggyAnnMcKay.
"Ihavethemeaslesandthemumps,
Agash,arashandpurplebumps.
Mymouthiswet,mythroatisdry,
I'mgoingblindinmyrighteye.
Mytonsilsareasbigasrocks,
I'vecountedsixteenchickenpox
Andthere'sonemore—that'sseventeen.
Anddon'tyouthinkmyfacelooksgreen?
Mylegiscut,myeyesareblue
—
Itmightbeinstamaticflu.
Icoughandsneezeandgaspandchoke,
I'msurethatmyleftlegisbroke
—
zk.jC
MyhiphurtswhenImovemychin.
Mybellybutton'scavingin,
Mybackiswrenched,myankle'ssprained,
My'pendixpainseachtimeitrains.
Mynoseiscold,mytoesarenumb,
Ihaveasliverinmythumb.
Myneckisstiff,myvoiceisweak,
IhardlywhisperwhenIspeak.
Mytongueisfillingupmymouth,
Ithinkmyhairisfallingout.
Myelbow'sbent,myspineain'tstraight,
Mytemperature isone-o-eight.
Mybrainisshrunk,Icannothear,
Thereisaholeinsidemyear.
Ihaveahangnail,andmyheartis—what?
What'sthat?What'sthatyousay?
Yousaytodayis...Saturday?
G'bye,I'mgoingouttoplay!"
"Icannotgotoschooltoday/'
SaidlittlePeggyAnnMcKay.
"Ihavethemeaslesandthemumps,
Agash,arashandpurplebumps.
Mymouthiswet,mythroatisdry,
I'mgoingblindinmyrighteye.
Mytonsilsareasbigasrocks,
I'vecountedsixteenchickenpox
Andthere'sonemore—that'sseventeen.
Anddon'tyouthinkmyfacelooksgreen?
Mylegiscut,myeyesareblue
—
Itmightbeinstamaticflu.
Icoughandsneezeandgaspandchoke,
I'msurethatmyleftlegisbroke
—
zk.jC
MyhiphurtswhenImovemychin.
Mybellybutton'scavingin,
Mybackiswrenched,myankle'ssprained,
My'pendixpainseachtimeitrains.
Mynoseiscold,mytoesarenumb,
Ihaveasliverinmythumb.
Myneckisstiff,myvoiceisweak,
IhardlywhisperwhenIspeak.
Mytongueisfillingupmymouth,
Ithinkmyhairisfallingout.
Myelbow'sbent,myspineain'tstraight,
Mytemperature isone-o-eight.
Mybrainisshrunk,Icannothear,
Thereisaholeinsidemyear.
Ihaveahangnail,andmyheartis—what?
What'sthat?What'sthatyousay?
Yousaytodayis...Saturday?
G'bye,I'mgoingouttoplay!"
UPSTAIRS
There'safamilyofwrenswholiveupstairs,
Upstairs,upstairs,upstairs.
Insidemyhat,allcozyin
Myhair,myhair,myhair.
I'vemovedadozentimesandstill
They'rethere,they'rethere,they'rethere.
I'dliketogetawayfromthem.
Butwhere,butwhere,butwhere?
Thishatjustisn'tbigenough
Toshare,toshare,toshare.
ButnowIseeyou'reboredandyou
Don'tcare,don'tcare,don'tcare
'Boutthewrenswholiveinside^
Myhair,myhair,myhair.
THEGARDEN
Ol'manSimon,plantedadiamond,
Grewhisselfagardenthelikesofnone.
Sproutsallgrowin',cornin'upglowin',
Fruitofjewelsallshinin'inthesun.
Colorsoftherainbow.
Seethesunandraingrow
Sapphiresandrubiesonivoryvines,
1
Grapesofjade,just
Ripenin'intheshade,just
Readyforthesqueezin'intogreenjadewine.
Puregoldcornthere,
Blowin'inthewarmair,
Ol'crownibblin'ontheamnythystseeds.
Inbetweenthediamonds,ol'manSimon
Crawlsaboutpullin'outplatinumweeds.
Pinkpearlberries,
Allyoucancarry,
Put'eminabusheland
Haul'emintotown.
Upinthetreethere's
Opalnutsandgoldpears
—
Hurryquick,grabastick
Andshakesomedown.
Takeasilvertater,
Emeraldtomater.
Freshplumpcoralmelons
Hangin'inreach.
Ol'manSimon,
Diggin'inhisdiamonds,
. Stopsandrestsanddreamsabout
One ...real ..
.
peach.
61
There'safamilyofwrenswholiveupstairs,
Upstairs,upstairs,upstairs.
Insidemyhat,allcozyin
Myhair,myhair,myhair.
I'vemovedadozentimesandstill
They'rethere,they'rethere,they'rethere.
I'dliketogetawayfromthem.
Butwhere,butwhere,butwhere?
Thishatjustisn'tbigenough
Toshare,toshare,toshare.
ButnowIseeyou'reboredandyou
Don'tcare,don'tcare,don'tcare
'Boutthewrenswholiveinside^
Myhair,myhair,myhair.
THEGARDEN
Ol'manSimon,plantedadiamond,
Grewhisselfagardenthelikesofnone.
Sproutsallgrowin',cornin'upglowin',
Fruitofjewelsallshinin'inthesun.
Colorsoftherainbow.
Seethesunandraingrow
Sapphiresandrubiesonivoryvines,
1
Grapesofjade,just
Ripenin'intheshade,just
Readyforthesqueezin'intogreenjadewine.
Puregoldcornthere,
Blowin'inthewarmair,
Ol'crownibblin'ontheamnythystseeds.
Inbetweenthediamonds,ol'manSimon
Crawlsaboutpullin'outplatinumweeds.
Pinkpearlberries,
Allyoucancarry,
Put'eminabusheland
Haul'emintotown.
Upinthetreethere's
Opalnutsandgoldpears
—
Hurryquick,grabastick
Andshakesomedown.
Takeasilvertater,
Emeraldtomater.
Freshplumpcoralmelons
Hangin'inreach.
Ol'manSimon,
Diggin'inhisdiamonds,
. Stopsandrestsanddreamsabout
One ...real ..
.
peach.
61
WHO
JUMPINGROPE
Thisstartedoutasa
jumpingrope
Youprob'lythinkthat
I'madope
Butthisstartedoutasa
jumpingrope
AndnowIfearthereis
nohope
Butthisstartedoutasa
jumpingrope.
1
Whocankickafootball
FromhereouttoAfghanistan?
Ican!
Whofoughttigersinthestreet
Whileallthepolicemenranandhid?
Idid!
WhowillflyandhaveX-rayeyes
—
Andbeknownasthemannobulletcankill?
Iwill!
Whocansitandtellliesallnight?
Imight!
RIDICULOUSROSE
Hermamasaid,"Don'teatwithyourfingers."
"OK,"saidRidiculousRose,
Sosheatewithhertoes!
63
JUMPINGROPE
Thisstartedoutasa
jumpingrope
Youprob'lythinkthat
I'madope
Butthisstartedoutasa
jumpingrope
AndnowIfearthereis
nohope
Butthisstartedoutasa
jumpingrope.
1
Whocankickafootball
FromhereouttoAfghanistan?
Ican!
Whofoughttigersinthestreet
Whileallthepolicemenranandhid?
Idid!
WhowillflyandhaveX-rayeyes
—
Andbeknownasthemannobulletcankill?
Iwill!
Whocansitandtellliesallnight?
Imight!
RIDICULOUSROSE
Hermamasaid,"Don'teatwithyourfingers."
"OK,"saidRidiculousRose,
Sosheatewithhertoes!
63
SNOWMAN
WHERETHESIDEWALKENDS
Thereisaplacewherethesidewalkends
Andbeforethestreetbegins,
Andtherethegrassgrowssoftandwhite,
Andtherethesunburnscrimsonbright,
Andtherethemoon-birdrestsfromhisflight
Tocoolinthepeppermintwind.
Letusleavethisplacewherethesmokeblowsblack
Andthedarkstreetwindsandbends.
Pastthepitswheretheasphaltflowersgrow
Weshallwalkwithawalkthatismeasuredandslow,
Andwatchwherethechalk-whitearrowsgo
Totheplacewherethesidewalkends.
Yeswe'llwalkwithawalkthatismeasuredandslow,
Andwe'llgowherethechalk-whitearrowsgo,
Forthechildren,theymark,andthechildren,theyknow
Theplacewherethesidewalkends.
‘
34
64
'Twasthefirstdayofthespringtime.
Andthesnowmanstoodalone
Asthewintersnowsweremelting,
Andthepinetreesseemedtogroan,
"Ah,youpoorsadsmilingsnowman.
You'llbemeltingbyandby."
Saidthesnowman,"Whatapity.
ForI'dliketoseeJuly.
Yes,I'dliketoseeJuly,andpleasedon'taskmewhy.
ButI'dliketo,yesI'dliketo,ohI'dliketoseeJuly."
Chirpedarobin,justarriving,
"Seasonscomeandseasonsgo.
Andthegreatesticemustcrumble
Whenit'sflowers'timetogrow.
Andasonethingisbeginning
Soanotherthingmustdie.
Andthere'sneverbeenasnowman
WhohaseverseenJuly.
No,theyneverseeJuly,nomatterhowtheytry.
No,theyneverever,neverever,neverseeJuly."
Butthesnowmansniffedhiscarrotnose
Andsaid,"AtleastI'lltry,"
Andhebravelysmiledhisfrostysmile
Andblinkedhiscoal-blackeye.
Andtherehestoodandfacedthesun
Ablazin'fromthesky
—
AndIreallycannottellyou
IfheeversawJuly:
DidheeverseeJuly?YoucanguessaswellasI
Ifheever,ifhenever,ifheeversawJuly.
65
WHERETHESIDEWALKENDS
Thereisaplacewherethesidewalkends
Andbeforethestreetbegins,
Andtherethegrassgrowssoftandwhite,
Andtherethesunburnscrimsonbright,
Andtherethemoon-birdrestsfromhisflight
Tocoolinthepeppermintwind.
Letusleavethisplacewherethesmokeblowsblack
Andthedarkstreetwindsandbends.
Pastthepitswheretheasphaltflowersgrow
Weshallwalkwithawalkthatismeasuredandslow,
Andwatchwherethechalk-whitearrowsgo
Totheplacewherethesidewalkends.
Yeswe'llwalkwithawalkthatismeasuredandslow,
Andwe'llgowherethechalk-whitearrowsgo,
Forthechildren,theymark,andthechildren,theyknow
Theplacewherethesidewalkends.
‘
34
64
'Twasthefirstdayofthespringtime.
Andthesnowmanstoodalone
Asthewintersnowsweremelting,
Andthepinetreesseemedtogroan,
"Ah,youpoorsadsmilingsnowman.
You'llbemeltingbyandby."
Saidthesnowman,"Whatapity.
ForI'dliketoseeJuly.
Yes,I'dliketoseeJuly,andpleasedon'taskmewhy.
ButI'dliketo,yesI'dliketo,ohI'dliketoseeJuly."
Chirpedarobin,justarriving,
"Seasonscomeandseasonsgo.
Andthegreatesticemustcrumble
Whenit'sflowers'timetogrow.
Andasonethingisbeginning
Soanotherthingmustdie.
Andthere'sneverbeenasnowman
WhohaseverseenJuly.
No,theyneverseeJuly,nomatterhowtheytry.
No,theyneverever,neverever,neverseeJuly."
Butthesnowmansniffedhiscarrotnose
Andsaid,"AtleastI'lltry,"
Andhebravelysmiledhisfrostysmile
Andblinkedhiscoal-blackeye.
Andtherehestoodandfacedthesun
Ablazin'fromthesky
—
AndIreallycannottellyou
IfheeversawJuly:
DidheeverseeJuly?YoucanguessaswellasI
Ifheever,ifhenever,ifheeversawJuly.
65
THECROCODILE'STOOTHACHE
TheCrocodile
Wenttothedentist
Andsatdowninthechair.
Andthedentistsaid,"Nowtellme,sir,
Whydoesithurtandwhere?"
AndtheCrocodilesaid,"I'lltellyouthetruth,
Ihaveaterribleacheinmytooth,"
Andheopenedhisjawssowide,sowide,
Thatthedentist,heclimbedrightinside,
Andthedentistlaughed,"Ohisn'tthisfun?"
Ashepulledtheteethout,onebyone.
AndtheCrocodilecried,"You'rehurtingmeso!
Pleaseputdownyourpliersandletmego."
ButthedentistjustlaughedwithaHoHoHo,
Andhesaid,"Istillhavetwelvetogo
—
Oops,that'sthewrongone,Iconfess,
Butwhat'sonecrocodile'stooth,moreorless?"
Thensuddenly,thejawswentSNAP,
Andthedentistwasgone,rightoffthemap,
Andwherehewentonecouldonlyguess ..
.
ToNorthorSouthorEastorWest ..
.
Heleftnoforwardingaddress.
Butwhat'sonedentist,moreorless?
TheCrocodile
Wenttothedentist
Andsatdowninthechair.
Andthedentistsaid,"Nowtellme,sir,
Whydoesithurtandwhere?"
AndtheCrocodilesaid,"I'lltellyouthetruth,
Ihaveaterribleacheinmytooth,"
Andheopenedhisjawssowide,sowide,
Thatthedentist,heclimbedrightinside,
Andthedentistlaughed,"Ohisn'tthisfun?"
Ashepulledtheteethout,onebyone.
AndtheCrocodilecried,"You'rehurtingmeso!
Pleaseputdownyourpliersandletmego."
ButthedentistjustlaughedwithaHoHoHo,
Andhesaid,"Istillhavetwelvetogo
—
Oops,that'sthewrongone,Iconfess,
Butwhat'sonecrocodile'stooth,moreorless?"
Thensuddenly,thejawswentSNAP,
Andthedentistwasgone,rightoffthemap,
Andwherehewentonecouldonlyguess ..
.
ToNorthorSouthorEastorWest ..
.
Heleftnoforwardingaddress.
Butwhat'sonedentist,moreorless?
I
LESTER
THUMBS
Ohthethumb-sucker'sthumb
Maylookwrinkledandwet
Andwithered,andwhiteasthesnow.
Butthetasteofathumb
Isthesweetesttasteyet
(Asonlywethumb-suckersknow).
»
Lesterwasgivenamagicwish
Bythegoblinwholivesinthebanyantree,
Andwithhiswishhewishedfortwomorewishes
—
Sonowinsteadofjustonewish,hecleverlyhadthree.
Andwitheachoneofthese
Hesimplywishedforthreemorewishes,
Whichgavehimthreeoldwishes,plusninenew.
Andwitheachofthesetwelve
Heslylywishedforthreemorewishes.
Whichaddeduptoforty-six—orisitfifty-two?
Wellanyway,heusedeachwish
Towishforwishes'tilhehad
Fivebillion,sevenmillion,eighteenthousandthirty-four.
Andthenhespreadthemontheground
Andclappedhishandsanddancedaround
Andskippedandsang,andthensatdown
Andwishedformore.
Andmore ...andmore ...theymultiplied
Whileotherpeoplesmiledandcried
Andlovedandreachedandtouchedandfelt.
Lestersatamidhiswealth
Stackedmountain-high likestacksofgold.
Satandcounted—andgrewold.
AndthenoneThursdaynighttheyfoundhim
Dead—withhiswishespiledaroundhim.
Andtheycountedthelotandfoundthatnot
Asingleonewasmissing.
Allshinyandnew—here,takeafew
AndthinkofLesterasyoudo.
Inaworldofapplesandkissesandshoes
Hewastedhiswishesonwishing.
69
LESTER
THUMBS
Ohthethumb-sucker'sthumb
Maylookwrinkledandwet
Andwithered,andwhiteasthesnow.
Butthetasteofathumb
Isthesweetesttasteyet
(Asonlywethumb-suckersknow).
»
Lesterwasgivenamagicwish
Bythegoblinwholivesinthebanyantree,
Andwithhiswishhewishedfortwomorewishes
—
Sonowinsteadofjustonewish,hecleverlyhadthree.
Andwitheachoneofthese
Hesimplywishedforthreemorewishes,
Whichgavehimthreeoldwishes,plusninenew.
Andwitheachofthesetwelve
Heslylywishedforthreemorewishes.
Whichaddeduptoforty-six—orisitfifty-two?
Wellanyway,heusedeachwish
Towishforwishes'tilhehad
Fivebillion,sevenmillion,eighteenthousandthirty-four.
Andthenhespreadthemontheground
Andclappedhishandsanddancedaround
Andskippedandsang,andthensatdown
Andwishedformore.
Andmore ...andmore ...theymultiplied
Whileotherpeoplesmiledandcried
Andlovedandreachedandtouchedandfelt.
Lestersatamidhiswealth
Stackedmountain-high likestacksofgold.
Satandcounted—andgrewold.
AndthenoneThursdaynighttheyfoundhim
Dead—withhiswishespiledaroundhim.
Andtheycountedthelotandfoundthatnot
Asingleonewasmissing.
Allshinyandnew—here,takeafew
AndthinkofLesterasyoudo.
Inaworldofapplesandkissesandshoes
Hewastedhiswishesonwishing.
69
SARAHCYNTHIASYLVIASTOUT
WOULDNOTTAKETHEGARBAGEOUT
SarahCynthiaSylviaStout
Wouldnottakethegarbageout!
She'dscourthepotsandscrapethepans.
Candytheyamsandspicethehams,
Andthoughherdaddywouldscreamandshout,
Shesimplywouldnottakethegarbageout.
Andsoitpileduptotheceilings:
Coffeegrounds,potatopeelings,
Brownbananas,rottenpeas,
Chunksofsourcottagecheese.
Itfilledthecan,itcoveredthefloor,
Itcrackedthewindowandblockedthedoor
Withbaconrindsandchickenbones.
Drippyendsoficecreamcones,
Prunepits,peachpits,orangepeel,
Gloppyglumpsofcoldoatmeal.
Pizzacrustsandwitheredgreens,
Soggybeansandtangerines,
Crustsofblackburnedbutteredtoast.
Gristlybitsofbeefyroasts
..
.
Thegarbagerolledondownthehall.
Itraisedtheroof,itbrokethewall
..
.
I
Greasynapkins,cookiecrumbs,
Globsofgooeybubblegum,
Cellophanefromgreenbaloney,
Rubberyblubberymacaroni,
Peanutbutter,cakedanddry,
Curdledmilkandcrustsofpie,
Moldymelons,dried-upmustard,
Eggshellsmixedwithlemoncustard,
Coldfrenchfriesandrancidmeat.
YellowlumpsofCreamofWheat.
Atlastthegarbagereachedsohigh
Thatfinallyittouchedthesky.
Andalltheneighborsmovedaway.
Andnoneofherfriendswouldcometoplay.
AndfinallySarahCynthiaStoutsaid,
"OK,I'lltakethegarbageout!"
Butthen,ofcourse, itwastoolate ..
.
Thegarbagereachedacrossthestate.
FromNewYorktotheGoldenGate.
Andthere,inthegarbageshedidhate,
PoorSarahmetanawfulfate,
ThatIcannotrightnowrelate
Becausethehourismuchtoolate.
Butchildren,rememberSarahStout
Andalwaystakethegarbageout!
71
WOULDNOTTAKETHEGARBAGEOUT
SarahCynthiaSylviaStout
Wouldnottakethegarbageout!
She'dscourthepotsandscrapethepans.
Candytheyamsandspicethehams,
Andthoughherdaddywouldscreamandshout,
Shesimplywouldnottakethegarbageout.
Andsoitpileduptotheceilings:
Coffeegrounds,potatopeelings,
Brownbananas,rottenpeas,
Chunksofsourcottagecheese.
Itfilledthecan,itcoveredthefloor,
Itcrackedthewindowandblockedthedoor
Withbaconrindsandchickenbones.
Drippyendsoficecreamcones,
Prunepits,peachpits,orangepeel,
Gloppyglumpsofcoldoatmeal.
Pizzacrustsandwitheredgreens,
Soggybeansandtangerines,
Crustsofblackburnedbutteredtoast.
Gristlybitsofbeefyroasts
..
.
Thegarbagerolledondownthehall.
Itraisedtheroof,itbrokethewall
..
.
I
Greasynapkins,cookiecrumbs,
Globsofgooeybubblegum,
Cellophanefromgreenbaloney,
Rubberyblubberymacaroni,
Peanutbutter,cakedanddry,
Curdledmilkandcrustsofpie,
Moldymelons,dried-upmustard,
Eggshellsmixedwithlemoncustard,
Coldfrenchfriesandrancidmeat.
YellowlumpsofCreamofWheat.
Atlastthegarbagereachedsohigh
Thatfinallyittouchedthesky.
Andalltheneighborsmovedaway.
Andnoneofherfriendswouldcometoplay.
AndfinallySarahCynthiaStoutsaid,
"OK,I'lltakethegarbageout!"
Butthen,ofcourse, itwastoolate ..
.
Thegarbagereachedacrossthestate.
FromNewYorktotheGoldenGate.
Andthere,inthegarbageshedidhate,
PoorSarahmetanawfulfate,
ThatIcannotrightnowrelate
Becausethehourismuchtoolate.
Butchildren,rememberSarahStout
Andalwaystakethegarbageout!
71
r
R
DRATS
Cananyonelendme
Twoeighty-poundrats?
Iwanttoridmyhouseofcats.
R
DRATS
Cananyonelendme
Twoeighty-poundrats?
Iwanttoridmyhouseofcats.
OHHAVEYOUHEARD
Ohhaveyouheardit'stimeforvaccinations?
Ithinksomeoneputsaltintoyourtea.
They'regivinguseleven-monthvacations.
AndFloridahassunkintothesea.
OhhaveyouheardthePresidenthasmeasles?
Theprincipalhasjustburneddowntheschool.
Yourhairisfullofantsandpurpleweasels
—
APRILFOOL!
WARNING
Insideeverybody'snose
Therelivesasharp-toothed snail.
Soifyoustickyourfingerin,
Hemaybiteoffyournail.
Stickitfartherupinside,
Andhemaybiteyourringoff.
Stickitalltheway,andhe
Maybitethewholedarnthingoff.
Ohhaveyouheardit'stimeforvaccinations?
Ithinksomeoneputsaltintoyourtea.
They'regivinguseleven-monthvacations.
AndFloridahassunkintothesea.
OhhaveyouheardthePresidenthasmeasles?
Theprincipalhasjustburneddowntheschool.
Yourhairisfullofantsandpurpleweasels
—
APRILFOOL!
WARNING
Insideeverybody'snose
Therelivesasharp-toothed snail.
Soifyoustickyourfingerin,
Hemaybiteoffyournail.
Stickitfartherupinside,
Andhemaybiteyourringoff.
Stickitalltheway,andhe
Maybitethewholedarnthingoff.
THEUNICORN
Alongtimeago,whentheearthwasgreen
Andtherewasmorekindsofanimalsthanyou'veeverseen.
Andtheyrunaroundfreewhiletheworldwasbein'born.
AndtheloveliestofallwastheUnicorn.
Therewasgreenalligatorsandlong-neckgeese.
Therewashumpybumpycamelsandchimpanzees.
Therewascatsandratsandelephants, butsureasyou'reborn
TheloveliestofallwastheUnicorn.
ButtheLordseensomesinnin',anditcausedhimpain.
Hesays,"Standback,I'mgonnamakeitrain."
Hesays,"HeyBrotherNoah,I'lltellyawhatchado.
Goandbuildmeafloatin'zoo.
Andyoutaketwoalligators,andacoupleofgeese.
Twohumpybumpycamelsandtwochimpanzees.
Taketwocatsandratsandelephants, butsureasyou'reborn
Noah,don'tyouforgetmyUnicorn."
NowNoahwasthere,andheansweredthecallin'.
Andhefinishedupthearkjustastherainstartedfailin'.
Hemarchedintheanimalstwobytwo.
Andhecalledoutastheywentthrough,
"HeyLord,Igotyourtwoalligatorsandyourcoupleofgeese.
Yourhumpybumpycamelsandyourtwochimpanzees.
Gotyourcatsandratsandelephants—butLord,I'msoforlorn
'CauseIjustdon'tseenoUnicorn."
76
Ol'Noahlookedoutthroughthedrivin'rain,
ButtheUnicornswerehidin',playin'sillygames.
Theywerekickin'andsplashin'inthemistymorn.
OhthemsillyUnicorn.
Thenthegoatstartedgoatin',andthesnakestartedsnakin'.
Theelephantstartedelephantin',andtheboatstartedshakin'.
Themousestartedsqueakin',andthelionstartedroarin',
Andeveryone'saboardbuttheUnicorn.
Imeanthegreenalligatorsandthelong-neckgeese.
Thehumpybumpycamelsandthechimpanzees.
Noahcried,"Closethedoor'causetherainispourin’
—
Andwejustcan'twaitforthemUnicorn."
Thenthearkstartedmovin',anditdriftedwiththetide,
AndtheUnicornslookedupfromtherockandcried.
Andthewatercomeupandsortoffloatedthemaway
—
That'swhyyou'veneverseenaUnicorntothisday.
You'llseealotofalligatorsandawholemessofgeese.
You'llseehumpybumpycamelsandlotsofchimpanzees.
You'llseecatsandratsandelephants, butsureasyou'reborn
You'renevergonnaseenoUnicorn.
77
Alongtimeago,whentheearthwasgreen
Andtherewasmorekindsofanimalsthanyou'veeverseen.
Andtheyrunaroundfreewhiletheworldwasbein'born.
AndtheloveliestofallwastheUnicorn.
Therewasgreenalligatorsandlong-neckgeese.
Therewashumpybumpycamelsandchimpanzees.
Therewascatsandratsandelephants, butsureasyou'reborn
TheloveliestofallwastheUnicorn.
ButtheLordseensomesinnin',anditcausedhimpain.
Hesays,"Standback,I'mgonnamakeitrain."
Hesays,"HeyBrotherNoah,I'lltellyawhatchado.
Goandbuildmeafloatin'zoo.
Andyoutaketwoalligators,andacoupleofgeese.
Twohumpybumpycamelsandtwochimpanzees.
Taketwocatsandratsandelephants, butsureasyou'reborn
Noah,don'tyouforgetmyUnicorn."
NowNoahwasthere,andheansweredthecallin'.
Andhefinishedupthearkjustastherainstartedfailin'.
Hemarchedintheanimalstwobytwo.
Andhecalledoutastheywentthrough,
"HeyLord,Igotyourtwoalligatorsandyourcoupleofgeese.
Yourhumpybumpycamelsandyourtwochimpanzees.
Gotyourcatsandratsandelephants—butLord,I'msoforlorn
'CauseIjustdon'tseenoUnicorn."
76
Ol'Noahlookedoutthroughthedrivin'rain,
ButtheUnicornswerehidin',playin'sillygames.
Theywerekickin'andsplashin'inthemistymorn.
OhthemsillyUnicorn.
Thenthegoatstartedgoatin',andthesnakestartedsnakin'.
Theelephantstartedelephantin',andtheboatstartedshakin'.
Themousestartedsqueakin',andthelionstartedroarin',
Andeveryone'saboardbuttheUnicorn.
Imeanthegreenalligatorsandthelong-neckgeese.
Thehumpybumpycamelsandthechimpanzees.
Noahcried,"Closethedoor'causetherainispourin’
—
Andwejustcan'twaitforthemUnicorn."
Thenthearkstartedmovin',anditdriftedwiththetide,
AndtheUnicornslookedupfromtherockandcried.
Andthewatercomeupandsortoffloatedthemaway
—
That'swhyyou'veneverseenaUnicorntothisday.
You'llseealotofalligatorsandawholemessofgeese.
You'llseehumpybumpycamelsandlotsofchimpanzees.
You'llseecatsandratsandelephants, butsureasyou'reborn
You'renevergonnaseenoUnicorn.
77
Astreethouse,aneathouse,
Besureandwipeyourfeethouse
Isnotmykindofhouseatall
—
Let'sgoliveinatreehouse.
Besureandwipeyourfeethouse
Isnotmykindofhouseatall
—
Let'sgoliveinatreehouse.
THEFLYINGFESTOON
!
OhI'mgoingtorideonTheFlyingFestoon
—
I'lljumponhisbackandI'llwhistleatune.
Andwe'llflytotheoutermosttipofthemoon,
TheFlyingFestoonandI.
NODIFFERENCE
I'mtakingasandwich,andballandaprune,
Andwe'releavingthiseveningpreciselyatnoon,
ForI'mgoingtoflywithTheFlyingFestoon ..
.
Justassoonashelearnshowtofly.
Smallasapeanut.
Bigasagiant,
We'reallthesamesize
Whenweturnoffthelight.
Richasasultan.
Poorasamite,
We'reallworththesame
Whenweturnoffthelight.
Red,blackororange.
Yelloworwhite,
Wealllookthesame
Whenweturnoffthelight.
Somaybetheway
Tomakeeverythingright
IsforGodtojustreachout
Andturnoffthelight!
!
OhI'mgoingtorideonTheFlyingFestoon
—
I'lljumponhisbackandI'llwhistleatune.
Andwe'llflytotheoutermosttipofthemoon,
TheFlyingFestoonandI.
NODIFFERENCE
I'mtakingasandwich,andballandaprune,
Andwe'releavingthiseveningpreciselyatnoon,
ForI'mgoingtoflywithTheFlyingFestoon ..
.
Justassoonashelearnshowtofly.
Smallasapeanut.
Bigasagiant,
We'reallthesamesize
Whenweturnoffthelight.
Richasasultan.
Poorasamite,
We'reallworththesame
Whenweturnoffthelight.
Red,blackororange.
Yelloworwhite,
Wealllookthesame
Whenweturnoffthelight.
Somaybetheway
Tomakeeverythingright
IsforGodtojustreachout
Andturnoffthelight!
INVISIBLEBOY
Andhereweseetheinvisibleboy
Inhislovelyinvisiblehouse,
Feedingapieceofinvisiblecheese
Toalittleinvisiblemouse.
Oh,whatabeautifulpicturetosee!
Willyoudrawaninvisiblepictureforme?
Andhereweseetheinvisibleboy
Inhislovelyinvisiblehouse,
Feedingapieceofinvisiblecheese
Toalittleinvisiblemouse.
Oh,whatabeautifulpicturetosee!
Willyoudrawaninvisiblepictureforme?
Andthatwasjustapeanut-buttersandwich.
Hisscepterandhisroyalgowns,
Hisregalthroneandgoldencrowns
Werebrownandstickyfromthemounds
Anddrippingsfromeachpeanut-buttersandwich.
84
Hissubjectsallweresillyfools
Forhehadpassedaroyalrule
Thatallthattheycouldlearninschool
Washowtomakeapeanut-buttersandwich.
Hewouldnoteathissovereignsteak,
Hescornedhissoupandkinglycake,
Andtoldhiscourtlycooktobake
Anextra-stickypeanut-buttersandwich.
Andthenonedayhetookabite
Andstartedchewingwithdelight.
Butfoundhismouthwasstuckquitetight
Fromthatlastbiteofpeanut-buttersandwich.
Hisbrotherpulled,hissisterpried.
Thewizardpushed,hismothercried,
"Myboy'scommittedsuicide
Fromeatinghislastpeanut-buttersandwich!"
Thedentistcame,andtheroyaldoc.
Theroyalplumberbangedandknocked,
Butstillthosejawsstayedtightlylocked.
Ohdarnthatstickypeanut-buttersandwich!
85
Hisscepterandhisroyalgowns,
Hisregalthroneandgoldencrowns
Werebrownandstickyfromthemounds
Anddrippingsfromeachpeanut-buttersandwich.
84
Hissubjectsallweresillyfools
Forhehadpassedaroyalrule
Thatallthattheycouldlearninschool
Washowtomakeapeanut-buttersandwich.
Hewouldnoteathissovereignsteak,
Hescornedhissoupandkinglycake,
Andtoldhiscourtlycooktobake
Anextra-stickypeanut-buttersandwich.
Andthenonedayhetookabite
Andstartedchewingwithdelight.
Butfoundhismouthwasstuckquitetight
Fromthatlastbiteofpeanut-buttersandwich.
Hisbrotherpulled,hissisterpried.
Thewizardpushed,hismothercried,
"Myboy'scommittedsuicide
Fromeatinghislastpeanut-buttersandwich!"
Thedentistcame,andtheroyaldoc.
Theroyalplumberbangedandknocked,
Butstillthosejawsstayedtightlylocked.
Ohdarnthatstickypeanut-buttersandwich!
85
IT
Thecarpenter,hetriedwithpliers.
Thetelephonemantriedwithwires.
Thefiremen,theytriedwithfire,
Butcouldn'tmeltthatpeanut-buttersandwich.
Withropesandpulleys,drillsandcoil.
Withsteamandlubricatingoil
—
Fortwentyyearsoftearsandtoil
—
Theyfoughtthatawfulpeanut-buttersandwich.
Thenallhisroyalsubjectscame.
Theyhookedhisjawswithgrapplin'chains
Andpulledbothwayswithmightandmain
Againstthatstubbornpeanut-buttersandwich.
Eachmanandwoman,girlandboy
Putdowntheirploughsandpotsandtoys
Andpulleduntilkerack!Oh,joy
—
Theybrokerightthroughthatpeanut-buttersandwich.
Apuffofdust,ascreech,asqueak
—
Theking'sjawopenedwithacreak.
Andtheninvoicesofaintandweak
—
Thefirstwordsthattheyheardhimspeak
Were,"Howaboutapeanut-buttersandwich?"
86
LAZYJANE
Lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
Jane,
she
wants
a
drink
of
water
so
she
waits
and
waits
and
waits
and
waits
and
waits
for
it
87
Thecarpenter,hetriedwithpliers.
Thetelephonemantriedwithwires.
Thefiremen,theytriedwithfire,
Butcouldn'tmeltthatpeanut-buttersandwich.
Withropesandpulleys,drillsandcoil.
Withsteamandlubricatingoil
—
Fortwentyyearsoftearsandtoil
—
Theyfoughtthatawfulpeanut-buttersandwich.
Thenallhisroyalsubjectscame.
Theyhookedhisjawswithgrapplin'chains
Andpulledbothwayswithmightandmain
Againstthatstubbornpeanut-buttersandwich.
Eachmanandwoman,girlandboy
Putdowntheirploughsandpotsandtoys
Andpulleduntilkerack!Oh,joy
—
Theybrokerightthroughthatpeanut-buttersandwich.
Apuffofdust,ascreech,asqueak
—
Theking'sjawopenedwithacreak.
Andtheninvoicesofaintandweak
—
Thefirstwordsthattheyheardhimspeak
Were,"Howaboutapeanut-buttersandwich?"
86
LAZYJANE
Lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
Jane,
she
wants
a
drink
of
water
so
she
waits
and
waits
and
waits
and
waits
and
waits
for
it
87
THEEDGEOFTHEWORLD
Columbussaidtheworldisround?
Don'tyoubelieveawordofthat.
ForI'vebeendowntotheedgeoftheworld,
Satontheedgewherethewildwindwhirled,
Peekedovertheledgewherethebluesmokecurls.
AndIcantellyou,boysandgirls.
TheworldisFLAT!
Columbussaidtheworldisround?
Don'tyoubelieveawordofthat.
ForI'vebeendowntotheedgeoftheworld,
Satontheedgewherethewildwindwhirled,
Peekedovertheledgewherethebluesmokecurls.
AndIcantellyou,boysandgirls.
TheworldisFLAT!
SANTAANDTHEREINDEER
"Thisisthehour,"saidSantaClaus,
"Thebellsringmerrily."
Thenonhisbackheslunghispack,
Andintohissleighclimbedhe.
''On,Dancer!On,Prancer!On,DonnerandBlitzen!
On,CometandCupid!"criedhe.
Andallthereindeersleapedbutone.
Andthatonestoodsilently.
I
Hehadpulledthesleighforathousandyears,
Andneverawordspokehe.
Nowhestoodinthesnow,andhewhisperedlow
—
"Ohwhatdoyouhaveforme?"
"Ihavegamesandtoysforgirlsandboys,"
SaidSantacheerily.
Thereindeerstoodasifmadeofwood
—
"Butwhatdoyouhaveforme?"
"Thesocksarehung,thebellsarerung!"
CriedSantadesperately.
Thereindeerwinkedatafallingstar
—
"Butwhatdoyouhaveforme?"
ThenSantareachedintohisbeard,
Andhefoundatinyflea.
Andheputitintothereindeer'sear;
Andthereindeersaid,"Forme?Ohgee!"
Andintotheblueawaytheyflew.
Awaytheyflewwiththeflea.
Andthemoralofthisyuletidetale
Youknowaswellasme.
i-
0
91
"Thisisthehour,"saidSantaClaus,
"Thebellsringmerrily."
Thenonhisbackheslunghispack,
Andintohissleighclimbedhe.
''On,Dancer!On,Prancer!On,DonnerandBlitzen!
On,CometandCupid!"criedhe.
Andallthereindeersleapedbutone.
Andthatonestoodsilently.
I
Hehadpulledthesleighforathousandyears,
Andneverawordspokehe.
Nowhestoodinthesnow,andhewhisperedlow
—
"Ohwhatdoyouhaveforme?"
"Ihavegamesandtoysforgirlsandboys,"
SaidSantacheerily.
Thereindeerstoodasifmadeofwood
—
"Butwhatdoyouhaveforme?"
"Thesocksarehung,thebellsarerung!"
CriedSantadesperately.
Thereindeerwinkedatafallingstar
—
"Butwhatdoyouhaveforme?"
ThenSantareachedintohisbeard,
Andhefoundatinyflea.
Andheputitintothereindeer'sear;
Andthereindeersaid,"Forme?Ohgee!"
Andintotheblueawaytheyflew.
Awaytheyflewwiththeflea.
Andthemoralofthisyuletidetale
Youknowaswellasme.
i-
0
91
I
THEPLANETOFMARS
OntheplanetofMars
Theyhaveclothesjustlikeours.
Andtheyhavethesameshoesandsamelaces,
Andtheyhavethesamecharmsandsamegraces.
Andtheyhavethesameheadsandsamefaces ..
.
Butnotinthe
Verysame
Places.
THEPLANETOFMARS
OntheplanetofMars
Theyhaveclothesjustlikeours.
Andtheyhavethesameshoesandsamelaces,
Andtheyhavethesamecharmsandsamegraces.
Andtheyhavethesameheadsandsamefaces ..
.
Butnotinthe
Verysame
Places.
__D
V
LOVE
Rickywas"L"buthe'shomewiththeflu,
Lizzie,our"O,"hadsomehomeworktodo,
Mitchell,"E"prob'lygotlostontheway.
SoI'malloflovethatcouldmakeittoday.
V
LOVE
Rickywas"L"buthe'shomewiththeflu,
Lizzie,our"O,"hadsomehomeworktodo,
Mitchell,"E"prob'lygotlostontheway.
SoI'malloflovethatcouldmakeittoday.
THEDIRTIESTMANINTHEWORLD
OhI'mDirtyDan,theworld'sdirtiestman,
Ineverhavetakenashower.
Ican'tseemyshirt—it'ssocoveredwithdirt.
Andmyearshaveenoughtogrowflowers.
Butthewateriseitheralittletoohot.
Orelseit'salittletoocold.
I'mmustyanddustyandpatchyandscratchy
Andmangyandcoveredwithmold.
Butthewaterisalwaysalittletoohot.
Orelseit'salittletoocold.
Iliveinapenwithfivehogsandahen
Andthreesquizzlylizardswhocreepin
Mybed,andtheyitchasIsquirm,andItwitch
InthecruddyoldsheetsthatIsleepin.
Ifyoulookeddownmythroatwithaflashlight,you'dnote
Thatmyinsidesarecoatedwithrust.
IcreakwhenIwalkandIsqueakwhenItalk.
AndeachtimeIsneezeIblowdust.
Thethoughtofatowelandsomesoapmakesmehowl,
Andwhenpeoplehavesomethingtotellme
Theydon'tcomeandtellit—theystandbackandyellit.
Ithinkthey'reafraidtheymightsmellme.
Thebedbugsthatleaponmesingmetosleep,
Andthegarbagefliesbuzzmeawake.
They'rethebestfriendsI'vefoundandIfeartheymightdrown
SoInevergotoonearalake.
EacheveningatnineIsitdowntodine
Withthetermiteswholiveinmychair.
AndIjokewiththebatsandhaveintimatechats
Withthecootieswhocrawlthroughmyhair.
I'dbrightenmylifeifIjustfoundawife,
ButIfearthatthatneverwillbe
UntilIcanfindagirl,gentleandkind.
Withabeautifulfaceandasensitivemind,
Whosparklesandtwinklesandglistensandshines
—
Andwho'salmostasdirtyasme.
97
OhI'mDirtyDan,theworld'sdirtiestman,
Ineverhavetakenashower.
Ican'tseemyshirt—it'ssocoveredwithdirt.
Andmyearshaveenoughtogrowflowers.
Butthewateriseitheralittletoohot.
Orelseit'salittletoocold.
I'mmustyanddustyandpatchyandscratchy
Andmangyandcoveredwithmold.
Butthewaterisalwaysalittletoohot.
Orelseit'salittletoocold.
Iliveinapenwithfivehogsandahen
Andthreesquizzlylizardswhocreepin
Mybed,andtheyitchasIsquirm,andItwitch
InthecruddyoldsheetsthatIsleepin.
Ifyoulookeddownmythroatwithaflashlight,you'dnote
Thatmyinsidesarecoatedwithrust.
IcreakwhenIwalkandIsqueakwhenItalk.
AndeachtimeIsneezeIblowdust.
Thethoughtofatowelandsomesoapmakesmehowl,
Andwhenpeoplehavesomethingtotellme
Theydon'tcomeandtellit—theystandbackandyellit.
Ithinkthey'reafraidtheymightsmellme.
Thebedbugsthatleaponmesingmetosleep,
Andthegarbagefliesbuzzmeawake.
They'rethebestfriendsI'vefoundandIfeartheymightdrown
SoInevergotoonearalake.
EacheveningatnineIsitdowntodine
Withthetermiteswholiveinmychair.
AndIjokewiththebatsandhaveintimatechats
Withthecootieswhocrawlthroughmyhair.
I'dbrightenmylifeifIjustfoundawife,
ButIfearthatthatneverwillbe
UntilIcanfindagirl,gentleandkind.
Withabeautifulfaceandasensitivemind,
Whosparklesandtwinklesandglistensandshines
—
Andwho'salmostasdirtyasme.
97
POINTOFVIEW
Thanksgivingdinner'ssadandthankless
Christmasdinner'sdarkandblue
Whenyoustopandtrytoseeit
Fromtheturkey'spointofview.
Sundaydinnerisn'tsunny
Easterfeastsarejustbadluck
Whenyouseeitfromtheviewpoint
Ofachickenoraduck.
OhhowIoncelovedtunasalad
Porkandlobsters,lambchopstoo
TillIstoppedandlookedatdinner
Fromthedinner'spointofview.
98
MAGICALERASER
Shewouldn'tbelieve
Thispencilhas
Amagicaleraser.
ShesaidIwasasillymoo.
ShesaidIwasaliartoo.
Shedaredmeprovethatitwastrue.
AndsowhatcouldIdo
—
Ierasedher!
99
Thanksgivingdinner'ssadandthankless
Christmasdinner'sdarkandblue
Whenyoustopandtrytoseeit
Fromtheturkey'spointofview.
Sundaydinnerisn'tsunny
Easterfeastsarejustbadluck
Whenyouseeitfromtheviewpoint
Ofachickenoraduck.
OhhowIoncelovedtunasalad
Porkandlobsters,lambchopstoo
TillIstoppedandlookedatdinner
Fromthedinner'spointofview.
98
MAGICALERASER
Shewouldn'tbelieve
Thispencilhas
Amagicaleraser.
ShesaidIwasasillymoo.
ShesaidIwasaliartoo.
Shedaredmeprovethatitwastrue.
AndsowhatcouldIdo
—
Ierasedher!
99
100
101
101
BENJAMINBUNNN
PoorBenjaminBunnn,
FromWilmington,
Hisbuttonswillnotcomeundone.
Hehasn'tchangedhisclothessincelastJuly.
Andwhy?
'Causenoonecanunbuttonhim
Nomatterhowtheytry,poorguy.
Andallthathecantakeoffarehissocksandshoesandtie,
Andallthathecandoissitandbitehistongueandcry.
Andhecannottakeabath—sojustletsthewaterrun.
Andhecan'tgotothetoilet,andhecan'tgetanysun,
Andlifejustisn'tanyfun
ForBenjaminBunnn,fromWilmington,
Whosebuttonswillnotcomeundone.
104
PoorBenjaminBunnn,
FromWilmington,
Hisbuttonswillnotcomeundone.
Hehasn'tchangedhisclothessincelastJuly.
Andwhy?
'Causenoonecanunbuttonhim
Nomatterhowtheytry,poorguy.
Andallthathecantakeoffarehissocksandshoesandtie,
Andallthathecandoissitandbitehistongueandcry.
Andhecannottakeabath—sojustletsthewaterrun.
Andhecan'tgotothetoilet,andhecan'tgetanysun,
Andlifejustisn'tanyfun
ForBenjaminBunnn,fromWilmington,
Whosebuttonswillnotcomeundone.
104
THERAZOR-TAILEDWREN
Therazor-tailedwren.
He'llpretendhe'syourfriend
Ashecutsallthegrassonyourlawn.
D
Therazor-tailedwren.
He'llpretendhe'syourfriend
Ashecutsallthegrassonyourlawn.
D
THEBLOATH
Intheundergrowth
TheredwellsaBloath
Whofeedsuponpoetsandtea.
Luckily,Iknowthisabouthim
Whileheknowsalmostnothingofme!
108
THEYIPIYUK
Intheswamplandslongago,
Wheretheweedsandmudglumpsgrow,
AYipiyukbitonmytoe ..
,
ExactlywhyIdonotknow.
Ikickedandcried
Andhollered"Oh"—
TheYipiyukwouldnotletgo.
Iwhisperedtohimsoftandlow
—
TheYipiyukwouldnotletgo.
Ishouted"Stop,""Desist"and"Whoa"
—
TheYipiyukwouldnotletgo.
Yes,thatwassixteenyearsago,
AndtheYipiyukstillwon'tletgo.
Thesnowmayfall.
Thewindsmayblow
—
TheYipiyukwillnotletgo.
Thesnowmaymelt,
Thegrassmaygrow
—
TheYipiyukwillnotletgo.
Idraghim'roundeachplaceIgo,
ThisYipiyukthatwon'tletgo.
Andnowmychildatlastyouknow
ExactlywhyIwalksoslow.
109
Intheundergrowth
TheredwellsaBloath
Whofeedsuponpoetsandtea.
Luckily,Iknowthisabouthim
Whileheknowsalmostnothingofme!
108
THEYIPIYUK
Intheswamplandslongago,
Wheretheweedsandmudglumpsgrow,
AYipiyukbitonmytoe ..
,
ExactlywhyIdonotknow.
Ikickedandcried
Andhollered"Oh"—
TheYipiyukwouldnotletgo.
Iwhisperedtohimsoftandlow
—
TheYipiyukwouldnotletgo.
Ishouted"Stop,""Desist"and"Whoa"
—
TheYipiyukwouldnotletgo.
Yes,thatwassixteenyearsago,
AndtheYipiyukstillwon'tletgo.
Thesnowmayfall.
Thewindsmayblow
—
TheYipiyukwillnotletgo.
Thesnowmaymelt,
Thegrassmaygrow
—
TheYipiyukwillnotletgo.
Idraghim'roundeachplaceIgo,
ThisYipiyukthatwon'tletgo.
Andnowmychildatlastyouknow
ExactlywhyIwalksoslow.
109
WHAT'SINTHESACK?
What'sinthesack?What'sinthesack?
Isitsomemushroomsorisitthemoon?
Isitlovelettersordownygoosefeathers?
Ormaybetheworld'smostenormousballoon?
What'sinthesack?That'salltheyaskme.
Coulditbepopcornormarblesorbooks?
Isittwoyears'worthofyourdirtylaundry.
Orthebiggestol'meatballthat'severbeencooked?
Doesanyoneaskme,"Hey,whenisyourbirthday?"
"CanyouplayMonopoly?""Doyoulikebeans?"
"WhatisthecapitalofYugoslavia?"
Or"Whoembroideredthatroseonyourjeans?"
No,what'sinthesack?That'salltheycareabout.
Isitarockorarolled-upgiraffe?
Isitpicklesornickelsorbustedbicycles?
Andifweguessit,willyougiveushalf?
DotheyaskwhereI'vebeen,orhowlongI'llbestayin',
WhereI'llbegoin',orwhenI'llbeback.
Or"Howdo?”or"What'snew?"or"Hey,whyareyoublue?"
No,alltheykeepaskingis,"What'sinthesack?"
"What'sinthesack?"I'mblowin’mystack
Atthenextonewhoasksme,"What'sinthesack?"
What?
Ohno.Notyou,too!
Ill
14
What'sinthesack?What'sinthesack?
Isitsomemushroomsorisitthemoon?
Isitlovelettersordownygoosefeathers?
Ormaybetheworld'smostenormousballoon?
What'sinthesack?That'salltheyaskme.
Coulditbepopcornormarblesorbooks?
Isittwoyears'worthofyourdirtylaundry.
Orthebiggestol'meatballthat'severbeencooked?
Doesanyoneaskme,"Hey,whenisyourbirthday?"
"CanyouplayMonopoly?""Doyoulikebeans?"
"WhatisthecapitalofYugoslavia?"
Or"Whoembroideredthatroseonyourjeans?"
No,what'sinthesack?That'salltheycareabout.
Isitarockorarolled-upgiraffe?
Isitpicklesornickelsorbustedbicycles?
Andifweguessit,willyougiveushalf?
DotheyaskwhereI'vebeen,orhowlongI'llbestayin',
WhereI'llbegoin',orwhenI'llbeback.
Or"Howdo?”or"What'snew?"or"Hey,whyareyoublue?"
No,alltheykeepaskingis,"What'sinthesack?"
"What'sinthesack?"I'mblowin’mystack
Atthenextonewhoasksme,"What'sinthesack?"
What?
Ohno.Notyou,too!
Ill
14
WON'TYOU?
Barbara'seyesareblueasazure
ButsheisinlovewithFreddy,
Karen'ssweetbutHarryhasher.
GentleJaneisgoingsteady.
Carolhatesme,sodoesMay,
Abigailwillnotbemine,
Nancylivestoofaraway ..
.
Won'tyoubemyValentine?
ALICE
ShedrankfromabottlecalledDRINKME
Andupshegrewsotall.
SheatefromaplatecalledTASTEME
Anddownsheshranksosmall.
Andsoshechanged,whileotherfolks
Nevertriednothin'atall.
112
SHADOWWASH
I'veneverwashedmyshadowout
InallthetimeI'vehadit.
ItwasabsolutelyfilthyIsupposed,
AndsotodayIpeeleditoff
Thewallwhereitwasleaning
Andstuckitinthewashtub
Withtheclothes.
Iputinsoapandbleachandstuff,
Iletitsoakforhours,
Iwrungitoutandhungitouttodry,
Andwhoeverwouldhavethunk
Thatitwouldhavegoneandshrunk
Fornowit'ssomuch
LittlerthanI.
113
Barbara'seyesareblueasazure
ButsheisinlovewithFreddy,
Karen'ssweetbutHarryhasher.
GentleJaneisgoingsteady.
Carolhatesme,sodoesMay,
Abigailwillnotbemine,
Nancylivestoofaraway ..
.
Won'tyoubemyValentine?
ALICE
ShedrankfromabottlecalledDRINKME
Andupshegrewsotall.
SheatefromaplatecalledTASTEME
Anddownsheshranksosmall.
Andsoshechanged,whileotherfolks
Nevertriednothin'atall.
112
SHADOWWASH
I'veneverwashedmyshadowout
InallthetimeI'vehadit.
ItwasabsolutelyfilthyIsupposed,
AndsotodayIpeeleditoff
Thewallwhereitwasleaning
Andstuckitinthewashtub
Withtheclothes.
Iputinsoapandbleachandstuff,
Iletitsoakforhours,
Iwrungitoutandhungitouttodry,
Andwhoeverwouldhavethunk
Thatitwouldhavegoneandshrunk
Fornowit'ssomuch
LittlerthanI.
113
RECIPEFORA
HIPPOPOTAMUSSANDWICH
Ahipposandwichiseasytomake.
Allyoudoissimplytake
Onesliceofbread,
Onesliceofcake,
Somemayonnaise,
Oneonionring,
Onehippopotamus.
Onepieceofstring,
Adashofpepper
—
115
HIPPOPOTAMUSSANDWICH
Ahipposandwichiseasytomake.
Allyoudoissimplytake
Onesliceofbread,
Onesliceofcake,
Somemayonnaise,
Oneonionring,
Onehippopotamus.
Onepieceofstring,
Adashofpepper
—
115
EIGHTEENFLAVORS
Eighteenluscious,scrumptiousflavors
—
Chocolate,limeandcherry,
Coffee,pumpkin,fudge-banana,
Caramelcreamandboysenberry,
Rockyroadandtoastedalmond.
Butterscotch,vanilladip,
Butter-brickie,appleripple,
Coconutandmochachip,
Brandypeachandlemoncustard.
Eachscooplovely,smooth,andround,
Tallestice-creamconeintown,
Lyingthere(sniff)ontheground.
116
I*
i
POORANGUS
Ohwhatdoyoudo,poorAngus,
Whenhungermakesyoucry?
"Ifixmyselfanomelet,sir.
Offluffycloudsandsky."
Ohwhatdoyouwear,poorAngus,
Whenwindsblowdownthehills?
"Isewmyselfawarmcloak,sir,
Ofhopeanddaffodils."
Ohwhodoyoulove,poorAngus,
WhenCatherine'sleftthemoor?
"Ah,then,sir,then'stheonlytime
IfeelI'mreallypoor."
117
1
Eighteenluscious,scrumptiousflavors
—
Chocolate,limeandcherry,
Coffee,pumpkin,fudge-banana,
Caramelcreamandboysenberry,
Rockyroadandtoastedalmond.
Butterscotch,vanilladip,
Butter-brickie,appleripple,
Coconutandmochachip,
Brandypeachandlemoncustard.
Eachscooplovely,smooth,andround,
Tallestice-creamconeintown,
Lyingthere(sniff)ontheground.
116
I*
i
POORANGUS
Ohwhatdoyoudo,poorAngus,
Whenhungermakesyoucry?
"Ifixmyselfanomelet,sir.
Offluffycloudsandsky."
Ohwhatdoyouwear,poorAngus,
Whenwindsblowdownthehills?
"Isewmyselfawarmcloak,sir,
Ofhopeanddaffodils."
Ohwhodoyoulove,poorAngus,
WhenCatherine'sleftthemoor?
"Ah,then,sir,then'stheonlytime
IfeelI'mreallypoor."
117
1
WHATADAY
Whataday.
Ohwhataday.
Mybabybrotherranaway.
Andnowmytubawillnotplay.
I'meightyearsold
Andturninggrey,
Ohwhataday.
Ohwhataday.
MAANDGOD
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Useyourfork."
Godgaveusvoices—Masays,"Don’tscream."
Masayseatbroccoli,cerealandcarrots.
ButGodgaveustasteysformapleicecream.
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Useyourhanky."
Godgaveuspuddles—Masays,"Don'tsplash."
Masays,"Bequiet,yourfatherissleeping."
ButGodgaveusgarbagecancoverstocrash.
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Putyourgloveson."
Godgaveusraindrops—Masays,"Don'tgetwet."
Masaysbecareful,anddon'tgettoonearto
ThosestrangelovelydogsthatGodgaveustopet.
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Gowash'em."
ButGodgaveuscoalbinsandnicedirtybodies.
AndIain'ttoosmart,butthere'sonethingforcertain
—
EitherMa'swrongorelseGodis.
Whataday.
Ohwhataday.
Mybabybrotherranaway.
Andnowmytubawillnotplay.
I'meightyearsold
Andturninggrey,
Ohwhataday.
Ohwhataday.
MAANDGOD
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Useyourfork."
Godgaveusvoices—Masays,"Don’tscream."
Masayseatbroccoli,cerealandcarrots.
ButGodgaveustasteysformapleicecream.
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Useyourhanky."
Godgaveuspuddles—Masays,"Don'tsplash."
Masays,"Bequiet,yourfatherissleeping."
ButGodgaveusgarbagecancoverstocrash.
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Putyourgloveson."
Godgaveusraindrops—Masays,"Don'tgetwet."
Masaysbecareful,anddon'tgettoonearto
ThosestrangelovelydogsthatGodgaveustopet.
Godgaveusfingers—Masays,"Gowash'em."
ButGodgaveuscoalbinsandnicedirtybodies.
AndIain'ttoosmart,butthere'sonethingforcertain
—
EitherMa'swrongorelseGodis.
TRAFFICLIGHT
BANG-KLANG
ImBigBarneyZangoftherailroadgang.
MypartnerisCharlieO'Flynn.
AndIholdthenails
Forthebigsteelrails,
AndCharlie,hehammers'emin.
Andmostofthetime
Hedoesjustfine.
Butnowandagainhefails.
Maybetomorrow
I'llhammer'emin,
AndletCharlieholdthenails.
Thetrafficlightsimplywouldnotturngreen
Sothepeoplestoppedtowait
Asthetrafficrolledandthewindblewcold
Andthehourgrewdarkandlate.
Zoom-varoom, trucks,trailers.
Bikesandlimousines.
Clatterin'by—meohmy!
Won'tthatlightturngreen?
Butthedaysturnedweeks,andtheweeksturnedmonths
Andthereonthecornertheystood,
Twiddlin'theirthumbstillthechangin'comes
Thewaygoodpeopleshould.
Andifyouwalkbythatcornernow,
Youmaythinkit'sratherstrange
Toseethemthereastheyhopefullygaze
Withtheverysamesmileontheirverysameface
Astheypatientlystandintheverysameplace
Andwaitforthelighttochange.
120
121
BANG-KLANG
ImBigBarneyZangoftherailroadgang.
MypartnerisCharlieO'Flynn.
AndIholdthenails
Forthebigsteelrails,
AndCharlie,hehammers'emin.
Andmostofthetime
Hedoesjustfine.
Butnowandagainhefails.
Maybetomorrow
I'llhammer'emin,
AndletCharlieholdthenails.
Thetrafficlightsimplywouldnotturngreen
Sothepeoplestoppedtowait
Asthetrafficrolledandthewindblewcold
Andthehourgrewdarkandlate.
Zoom-varoom, trucks,trailers.
Bikesandlimousines.
Clatterin'by—meohmy!
Won'tthatlightturngreen?
Butthedaysturnedweeks,andtheweeksturnedmonths
Andthereonthecornertheystood,
Twiddlin'theirthumbstillthechangin'comes
Thewaygoodpeopleshould.
Andifyouwalkbythatcornernow,
Youmaythinkit'sratherstrange
Toseethemthereastheyhopefullygaze
Withtheverysamesmileontheirverysameface
Astheypatientlystandintheverysameplace
Andwaitforthelighttochange.
120
121
/
ME-STEW
Ihavenothingtoputinmystew,yousee,
Notaboneorabeanorablack-eyedpea,
SoI'lljustclimbinthepottosee
IfIcanmakeastewoutofme.
I'llputinsomepepperandsaltandI'llsit
Inthebubblingwater—Iwon'tscreamabit.
I'llsingwhileIsimmer,I'llsmilewhileI'mstewing.
I'lltastemyselfoftentoseehowI'mdoing.
I'llstirmearoundwiththisbigwoodenspoon
Andservemyselfupataquartertonoon.
Sobringoutyourstewbowls.
Yougobblersandsnackers.
Farewell—andIhopeyouenjoymewithcrackers!
DOUBLE-TAILDOG
Wouldyouliketobuyadogwithatailateitherend?
Heisquitethestrangestdogthereisintown.
Thoughhe'snottoogoodatknowing
Justexactlywherehe'sgoing.
Heisveryverygoodatsittingdown.
Hedoesn'thaveaplacetoputacollar,
AndI'lladmitit'sratherhardtoleadhim,
Andhecannothearyoucall
Forhehasnoearsatall,
Butitdoesn'tcostasinglecenttofeedhim.
Hecannotbite,he'llneverbarkorgrowl,
Justscratchhimonhistails,he'llfinditpleasing.
Butyou'llhavetotakehimout
Fortwiceasmanywalks.
AndI'llbetthatyoucanquicklyguessthereason.
ME-STEW
Ihavenothingtoputinmystew,yousee,
Notaboneorabeanorablack-eyedpea,
SoI'lljustclimbinthepottosee
IfIcanmakeastewoutofme.
I'llputinsomepepperandsaltandI'llsit
Inthebubblingwater—Iwon'tscreamabit.
I'llsingwhileIsimmer,I'llsmilewhileI'mstewing.
I'lltastemyselfoftentoseehowI'mdoing.
I'llstirmearoundwiththisbigwoodenspoon
Andservemyselfupataquartertonoon.
Sobringoutyourstewbowls.
Yougobblersandsnackers.
Farewell—andIhopeyouenjoymewithcrackers!
DOUBLE-TAILDOG
Wouldyouliketobuyadogwithatailateitherend?
Heisquitethestrangestdogthereisintown.
Thoughhe'snottoogoodatknowing
Justexactlywherehe'sgoing.
Heisveryverygoodatsittingdown.
Hedoesn'thaveaplacetoputacollar,
AndI'lladmitit'sratherhardtoleadhim,
Andhecannothearyoucall
Forhehasnoearsatall,
Butitdoesn'tcostasinglecenttofeedhim.
Hecannotbite,he'llneverbarkorgrowl,
Justscratchhimonhistails,he'llfinditpleasing.
Butyou'llhavetotakehimout
Fortwiceasmanywalks.
AndI'llbetthatyoucanquicklyguessthereason.
PAULBUNYAN
Herodethroughthewoodsonabigblueox,
Hehadfistsashardaschoppin'blocks,
Fivehundredpoundsandninefeettall ...that'sPaul.
Talkaboutworkin',whenheswunghisaxe
Youcouldhearitringforamileandahalf.
Thenhe'dyell"Timber!"anddownshe'dfall...forPaul
Talkaboutdrinkin',thatman'ssomean
Thathe'dneverdrinknothin'butkerosene,
Andafive-galloncanisalittlebitsmall...forPaul.
Talkabouttough,wellheoncehadafight
Withathunderstormonacolddarknight.
Iain'tsayin'whowon,
Butitdon'tstormatall..
.
'roundhere ...thankstoPaul.
Butlateonenightthetreesstartedshakin'.
Thedogsstartedhowlin'andtheearthstartedquakin'
Andoutofthegroundwitha"Hi,y'all" ...comePaul!
Heshookthedirtfromoffofhisclothes,
Hescratchedhisbuttandhewipedhisnose.
"Y'know,bein'deadwasn'tnofunatall" ...saysPaul.
Hesays,"Upinheaventheygotharpsontheirknees.
Theygotcloudsandwingsbuttheygotnotrees.
Idon'tthinkthat'smuchofaheavenatall" ...saysPaul.
Sohejumpsonhisoxwithafare-thee-well.
Hesays,"I'llfindoutifthey'streesinhell."
Andherodeaway,andthatwasall..
.
weeverseen ..
.
Butthenexttimeyouheara"Timber!"yell
Thatsoundslikeit'scornin'fromthepitsofhell.
Thenaweirdanddevilishghostlywail
Likesomebodychoppin'onthedevil'stail,
Thenashout,acall,acrash,afall
—
Thatain'tnomortalmanatall..
.
that'sPaul!
Hewasninetyyearsoldwhenhesaidwithasigh,
"IthinkI'mgonnalayrightdownanddie
'Causesunshineandsorrow.I'veseenitall" ...saysPaul
Hesays,"Thereain'tnomanalivecankillme.
Ain'tnowoman'roundcanthrillme.
AndIthinkheavenjustmightbeaball" ...saysPaul
Ittookeighteenmenjusttobusttheground,
Ittooktwenty-fourmorejusttolowerhimdown.
Andwecoveredhimupandwefiguredthatwasall
124
Herodethroughthewoodsonabigblueox,
Hehadfistsashardaschoppin'blocks,
Fivehundredpoundsandninefeettall ...that'sPaul.
Talkaboutworkin',whenheswunghisaxe
Youcouldhearitringforamileandahalf.
Thenhe'dyell"Timber!"anddownshe'dfall...forPaul
Talkaboutdrinkin',thatman'ssomean
Thathe'dneverdrinknothin'butkerosene,
Andafive-galloncanisalittlebitsmall...forPaul.
Talkabouttough,wellheoncehadafight
Withathunderstormonacolddarknight.
Iain'tsayin'whowon,
Butitdon'tstormatall..
.
'roundhere ...thankstoPaul.
Butlateonenightthetreesstartedshakin'.
Thedogsstartedhowlin'andtheearthstartedquakin'
Andoutofthegroundwitha"Hi,y'all" ...comePaul!
Heshookthedirtfromoffofhisclothes,
Hescratchedhisbuttandhewipedhisnose.
"Y'know,bein'deadwasn'tnofunatall" ...saysPaul.
Hesays,"Upinheaventheygotharpsontheirknees.
Theygotcloudsandwingsbuttheygotnotrees.
Idon'tthinkthat'smuchofaheavenatall" ...saysPaul.
Sohejumpsonhisoxwithafare-thee-well.
Hesays,"I'llfindoutifthey'streesinhell."
Andherodeaway,andthatwasall..
.
weeverseen ..
.
Butthenexttimeyouheara"Timber!"yell
Thatsoundslikeit'scornin'fromthepitsofhell.
Thenaweirdanddevilishghostlywail
Likesomebodychoppin'onthedevil'stail,
Thenashout,acall,acrash,afall
—
Thatain'tnomortalmanatall..
.
that'sPaul!
Hewasninetyyearsoldwhenhesaidwithasigh,
"IthinkI'mgonnalayrightdownanddie
'Causesunshineandsorrow.I'veseenitall" ...saysPaul
Hesays,"Thereain'tnomanalivecankillme.
Ain'tnowoman'roundcanthrillme.
AndIthinkheavenjustmightbeaball" ...saysPaul
Ittookeighteenmenjusttobusttheground,
Ittooktwenty-fourmorejusttolowerhimdown.
Andwecoveredhimupandwefiguredthatwasall
124
DANCINGPANTS
AndnowfortheDancingPants,
Doingtheirfabulousdance.
Fromtheseattothepleat
Theywillbouncetothebeat.
Withnolegsinsidethem
Andnofeetbeneath.
They'llwhirl,andtwirl,andjiggleandprance,
Sojuststartthemusic
Andgivethemachance
—
Let'shaveabighandforthewonderful,marvelous,
Supersensational,utterlyfabulous,
TalentedDancingPants!
IWON'THATCH!
OhIamachickiewholivesinanegg,
ButIwillnothatch,Iwillnothatch.
Thehenstheyallcackle,theroostersallbeg,
ButIwillnothatch,Iwillnothatch.
ForIhearallthetalkofpollutionandwar
Asthepeopleallshoutandtheairplanesroar,
SoI'mstayinginherewhereit'ssafeandit'swarm,
AndIWILLNOTHATCH!
127
AndnowfortheDancingPants,
Doingtheirfabulousdance.
Fromtheseattothepleat
Theywillbouncetothebeat.
Withnolegsinsidethem
Andnofeetbeneath.
They'llwhirl,andtwirl,andjiggleandprance,
Sojuststartthemusic
Andgivethemachance
—
Let'shaveabighandforthewonderful,marvelous,
Supersensational,utterlyfabulous,
TalentedDancingPants!
IWON'THATCH!
OhIamachickiewholivesinanegg,
ButIwillnothatch,Iwillnothatch.
Thehenstheyallcackle,theroostersallbeg,
ButIwillnothatch,Iwillnothatch.
ForIhearallthetalkofpollutionandwar
Asthepeopleallshoutandtheairplanesroar,
SoI'mstayinginherewhereit'ssafeandit'swarm,
AndIWILLNOTHATCH!
127
vi'w
1'
mmM
WITHHISMOUTHFULLOFFOOD
MilfordDupree,thoughheknewitwasrude,
Talkedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Heneverwouldburporwalkoutinthenude.
Buthetalkedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Hismothersaid,"Milford, it'scrudeandit'slewd
Totalkwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Why,eventhemilkcowwhomoo'dasshechewed
Nevermoo'dwithhermouthfulloffood.
Andthecuckoowouldneverhaveevercuckoo'd
Ifhecoo'dwithhismouthfulloffood."
Hisdadsaid,"Getmarriedorgogettattooed.
Butdon'ttalkwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Ifitwasacrime,youwouldsurelygetsued
Ifyoutalkedwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Why,justlikeananimalyoushouldbezoo'd
Asyoutalkwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Foryouknowwe'reallputinaterriblemood
Whenyoutalkwithyourmouthfulloffood."
Theypleadedandbegged.Hejustgiggledandchewed
Andlaughedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Andalltheyadvisedhimhesimplypoo-poo'd,
Hepoo-poo'dwithhismouthfulloffood.
Sotheysentforthegluerandhadhismouthglued
'Causehetalkedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Nowinsteadof"Goodmorning,"hesays"Gnumurnood,
Iwuntukwinmnymarffurufoog."
MYHOBBY
INSTRUCTIONS
Ifyoushouldeverchoose
Tobatheanarmadillo,
Useonebarofsoap
Andawholelotofhope
Andseventy-twopadsofBrillo.
Whenyouspitfromthetwenty-sixthfloor,
Anditfloatsonthebreezetotheground,
Doesitfalluponhats
OronwhitePersiancats
Oronheads,withapitty-patsound?
Iusedtothinklifewasabore,
ButIdon'tfeelthatwayanymore,
AsIcountupthehits,
AsIsmileasIsit.
AsIspitfromthetwenty-sixthfloor.
V
'<*
1'
mmM
WITHHISMOUTHFULLOFFOOD
MilfordDupree,thoughheknewitwasrude,
Talkedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Heneverwouldburporwalkoutinthenude.
Buthetalkedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Hismothersaid,"Milford, it'scrudeandit'slewd
Totalkwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Why,eventhemilkcowwhomoo'dasshechewed
Nevermoo'dwithhermouthfulloffood.
Andthecuckoowouldneverhaveevercuckoo'd
Ifhecoo'dwithhismouthfulloffood."
Hisdadsaid,"Getmarriedorgogettattooed.
Butdon'ttalkwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Ifitwasacrime,youwouldsurelygetsued
Ifyoutalkedwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Why,justlikeananimalyoushouldbezoo'd
Asyoutalkwithyourmouthfulloffood.
Foryouknowwe'reallputinaterriblemood
Whenyoutalkwithyourmouthfulloffood."
Theypleadedandbegged.Hejustgiggledandchewed
Andlaughedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Andalltheyadvisedhimhesimplypoo-poo'd,
Hepoo-poo'dwithhismouthfulloffood.
Sotheysentforthegluerandhadhismouthglued
'Causehetalkedwithhismouthfulloffood.
Nowinsteadof"Goodmorning,"hesays"Gnumurnood,
Iwuntukwinmnymarffurufoog."
MYHOBBY
INSTRUCTIONS
Ifyoushouldeverchoose
Tobatheanarmadillo,
Useonebarofsoap
Andawholelotofhope
Andseventy-twopadsofBrillo.
Whenyouspitfromthetwenty-sixthfloor,
Anditfloatsonthebreezetotheground,
Doesitfalluponhats
OronwhitePersiancats
Oronheads,withapitty-patsound?
Iusedtothinklifewasabore,
ButIdon'tfeelthatwayanymore,
AsIcountupthehits,
AsIsmileasIsit.
AsIspitfromthetwenty-sixthfloor.
V
'<*
THEWORST
Whensingingsongsofscariness,
Ofbloodinessandhairyness,
Ifeelobligatedatthismomenttoremindyou
Ofthemostferociousbeastofall:
Threethousandpoundsandninefeettall
—
TheGlurpySlurpySkakagrall
—
Who'sstandingrightbehindyou.
130
Whensingingsongsofscariness,
Ofbloodinessandhairyness,
Ifeelobligatedatthismomenttoremindyou
Ofthemostferociousbeastofall:
Threethousandpoundsandninefeettall
—
TheGlurpySlurpySkakagrall
—
Who'sstandingrightbehindyou.
130
THEBAGPIPEWHODIDN'TSAYNO
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"Didyouhonkorbrayorneigh?
For'Aaooga'whenyou'rekissedissuchaheartlessthingtosay.
IsitthatIhaveoffended?
Isitthatourloveisended?"
Andthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Itwasnineo'clockatmidnightataquarterafterthree
Whenaturtlemetabagpipeontheshoresidebythesea.
Andtheturtlesaid,"Mydearie.
MayIsitwithyou?I'mweary."
Andthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"ShallIleaveyou,darlingwife?
ShallIwaddleofftoWoedom?ShallIcrawloutofyourlife?
ShallImove,departandgo,dear
—
Oh,Ibegyoutellme'No,'dear!"
Butthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"Ihavewalkedthislonelyshore,
Ihavetalkedtowavesandpebbles—butI'veneverlovedbefore.
Willyoumarrymetoday,dear?
Isit'No'you'regoingtosay,dear?"
Butthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Sotheturtlecreptoffcryingandhene'ercamebacknomore,
Andheleftthebagpipelyingonthatsmoothandsandyshore.
Andsomenightwhentideislowthere,
Justwalkupandsay,"Hello,there,"
Andpolitelyaskthebagpipeifthisstory'sreallyso.
Iassureyou,darlingchildren,thatthebagpipewon'tsay"No.
Saidtheturtletohisdarling,"PleaseexcusemeifIstare,
Butyouhavetheplaidestskin,dear.
Andyouhavethestrangesthair.
IfIbeggedyouprettyplease,love,
CouldIgiveyoujustonesqueeze,love?"
Andthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"Ah,youloveme.Thenconfess!
Letmewhisperinyourdaintyearandholdyoutomychest."
Andhecuddledherandteasedher
Andsolovinglyhesqueezedher.
Andthebagpipesaid,"Aaooga."
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"Didyouhonkorbrayorneigh?
For'Aaooga'whenyou'rekissedissuchaheartlessthingtosay.
IsitthatIhaveoffended?
Isitthatourloveisended?"
Andthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Itwasnineo'clockatmidnightataquarterafterthree
Whenaturtlemetabagpipeontheshoresidebythesea.
Andtheturtlesaid,"Mydearie.
MayIsitwithyou?I'mweary."
Andthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"ShallIleaveyou,darlingwife?
ShallIwaddleofftoWoedom?ShallIcrawloutofyourlife?
ShallImove,departandgo,dear
—
Oh,Ibegyoutellme'No,'dear!"
Butthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"Ihavewalkedthislonelyshore,
Ihavetalkedtowavesandpebbles—butI'veneverlovedbefore.
Willyoumarrymetoday,dear?
Isit'No'you'regoingtosay,dear?"
Butthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Sotheturtlecreptoffcryingandhene'ercamebacknomore,
Andheleftthebagpipelyingonthatsmoothandsandyshore.
Andsomenightwhentideislowthere,
Justwalkupandsay,"Hello,there,"
Andpolitelyaskthebagpipeifthisstory'sreallyso.
Iassureyou,darlingchildren,thatthebagpipewon'tsay"No.
Saidtheturtletohisdarling,"PleaseexcusemeifIstare,
Butyouhavetheplaidestskin,dear.
Andyouhavethestrangesthair.
IfIbeggedyouprettyplease,love,
CouldIgiveyoujustonesqueeze,love?"
Andthebagpipedidn'tsayno.
Saidtheturtletothebagpipe,"Ah,youloveme.Thenconfess!
Letmewhisperinyourdaintyearandholdyoutomychest."
Andhecuddledherandteasedher
Andsolovinglyhesqueezedher.
Andthebagpipesaid,"Aaooga."
Hie /P
OJOALO,B6L0AU6fo
RUDYFELSH
RudyFelsh
Knowshowtobelch
Betterthananyoneeverdid.
MargosaysthatRudyFelsh
Isanastyvulgarkid.
Somedayhewillgotohell
OrjailorCanada,butnow
EverynightIpraythatfirst
RudyFelshwillshowmehow.
_j
HiHversyBiOGBo^PBr-mouzrn
!
FRED?
FromoutofthecoldCaribbean
IntotheDesertLibyan
Therecrawledastrangeamphibian,
Andweshallcallhim"Fred."
Yousaylet'scallhim"Ted"?
Ormaybe"Lou"or"Jed"?
ButIwanttocallhim"Fred"!
Youlike"Maurice"instead?
Or"Barnaby"or"Red"
Or"Lucifer"or"Ned"?
Well,anyway,he'sdead.
134 135
OJOALO,B6L0AU6fo
RUDYFELSH
RudyFelsh
Knowshowtobelch
Betterthananyoneeverdid.
MargosaysthatRudyFelsh
Isanastyvulgarkid.
Somedayhewillgotohell
OrjailorCanada,butnow
EverynightIpraythatfirst
RudyFelshwillshowmehow.
_j
HiHversyBiOGBo^PBr-mouzrn
!
FRED?
FromoutofthecoldCaribbean
IntotheDesertLibyan
Therecrawledastrangeamphibian,
Andweshallcallhim"Fred."
Yousaylet'scallhim"Ted"?
Ormaybe"Lou"or"Jed"?
ButIwanttocallhim"Fred"!
Youlike"Maurice"instead?
Or"Barnaby"or"Red"
Or"Lucifer"or"Ned"?
Well,anyway,he'sdead.
134 135
THELONG-HAIREDBOY
Therewasaboyinourtownwithlonghair
Imeanreallylonghair
—
Andeverybodypointedathim
Andlaughedathim
Andmadefunofhim.
Andwhenhewalkeddownthestreet
Thepeoplewouldroar
Andsticktheirtonguesout
Andmakefunnyfaces
Andruninandslamtheirdoor
Andshoutathimfromthewindow
Untilhecouldn'tstanditanymore.
Sohesatdownandcried
Tillhiswholebodyshook.
Andprettysoonhishairshooktoo,
Anditflapped
Andflapped
—
Andhelifted
—
Andflew
—
Therewasaboyinourtownwithlonghair
Imeanreallylonghair
—
Andeverybodypointedathim
Andlaughedathim
Andmadefunofhim.
Andwhenhewalkeddownthestreet
Thepeoplewouldroar
Andsticktheirtonguesout
Andmakefunnyfaces
Andruninandslamtheirdoor
Andshoutathimfromthewindow
Untilhecouldn'tstanditanymore.
Sohesatdownandcried
Tillhiswholebodyshook.
Andprettysoonhishairshooktoo,
Anditflapped
Andflapped
—
Andhelifted
—
Andflew
—
I
Straightupintheairlikeahelicopter.
JennyRickssawhimanddroppedher
Knittingandscreamed,"It'saflyingkid!"
LukeyHastingsranandhid
UnderOldManMerrill'scar,
MissTerancefainted,HenryQuist
Triedtoshoothimdown,butmissed
—
"Ithoughthewasacrow,"hesaid.
And'roundhesailedallthroughtheday.
Smilinginthestrangestway.
Withthewindinhishair
Andthesuninhiseyes.
Wesawhimswoopandbankandrise.
Hebrushedthetreetops
Andskimmedthegrass
OnYerbey'slawnandalmostcrashed
RightintoHansen'ssilo—but
Zoomedupintimeandalmosthit
Thecourthouse.OldManCooleybit
Rightthroughhisnapkinwhenhesaw
Akidflythroughthedinerdoor
—
Andoutofthewindow,tippingtheladder
—
138
WhereSmokeywaspainting,healmosthada
Heartattack—heclungtoarafter.
Thekidflewon
—
Usrunnin'after,
Cheeringandsweating
Andscreaming,"Hooray!"
MayorLowryshouted,"Hey
—
Comedownhere,kid.We'dliketosay
Howproudofyouwearetoday.
Whoeverthoughtourlittle
Townwouldhaveaheroinit?
SoI'dliketoproclaimthisday—hey,kid!
Willyoupleasecomedownforjustaminute?"
Buttheflyingkiddidnotcomedown.
Hetreadedairabovethetown,
Sortofcryin'andlookingdown
Atallofushereontheground.
Thenupheflew,upintotheclouds,
Flappingandflyingsofarandhigh,
Outpastthehillsandintothesky
Untilatinyspeckagainstthesun
Wasallwecouldseeofhim ...thenhewasgone.
139
Straightupintheairlikeahelicopter.
JennyRickssawhimanddroppedher
Knittingandscreamed,"It'saflyingkid!"
LukeyHastingsranandhid
UnderOldManMerrill'scar,
MissTerancefainted,HenryQuist
Triedtoshoothimdown,butmissed
—
"Ithoughthewasacrow,"hesaid.
And'roundhesailedallthroughtheday.
Smilinginthestrangestway.
Withthewindinhishair
Andthesuninhiseyes.
Wesawhimswoopandbankandrise.
Hebrushedthetreetops
Andskimmedthegrass
OnYerbey'slawnandalmostcrashed
RightintoHansen'ssilo—but
Zoomedupintimeandalmosthit
Thecourthouse.OldManCooleybit
Rightthroughhisnapkinwhenhesaw
Akidflythroughthedinerdoor
—
Andoutofthewindow,tippingtheladder
—
138
WhereSmokeywaspainting,healmosthada
Heartattack—heclungtoarafter.
Thekidflewon
—
Usrunnin'after,
Cheeringandsweating
Andscreaming,"Hooray!"
MayorLowryshouted,"Hey
—
Comedownhere,kid.We'dliketosay
Howproudofyouwearetoday.
Whoeverthoughtourlittle
Townwouldhaveaheroinit?
SoI'dliketoproclaimthisday—hey,kid!
Willyoupleasecomedownforjustaminute?"
Buttheflyingkiddidnotcomedown.
Hetreadedairabovethetown,
Sortofcryin'andlookingdown
Atallofushereontheground.
Thenupheflew,upintotheclouds,
Flappingandflyingsofarandhigh,
Outpastthehillsandintothesky
Untilatinyspeckagainstthesun
Wasallwecouldseeofhim ...thenhewasgone.
139
BAND-AIDS
IhaveaBand-Aidonmyfinger.
Oneonmyknee,andoneonmynose,
Oneonmyheel,andtwoonmyshoulder.
Threeonmyelbow,andnineonmytoes.
Twoonmywrist,andoneonmyankle.
Oneonmychin,andoneonmythigh.
Fouronmybelly,andfiveonmybottom.
Oneonmyforehead,andoneonmyeye.
Oneonmyneck,andincaseImightneed'em
Ihaveaboxfullofthirty-fivemore.
Butoh!Idothinkit'ssortofapity
Idon'thaveacutorasore!
DREADFUL
I
Someoneatethebaby,
It'srathersadtosay.
Someoneatethebaby
Soshewon'tbeouttoplay.
We'llneverhearherwhineycry
Orhavetofeelifsheisdry.
We'llneverhearherasking"Why?"
Someoneatethebaby.
Someoneatethebaby.
It'sabsolutelyclear
Someoneatethebaby
'Causethebabyisn'there.
We'llgiveawayhertoysandclothes.
We'llneverhavetowipehernose.
Dadsays,"That'sthewayitgoes."
Someoneatethebaby.
Someoneatethebaby.
Whatafrightfulthingtoeat!
Someoneatethebaby
Thoughshewasn'tverysweet.
Itwasaheartlessthingtodo.
Thepolicemenhaven'tgotaclue.
Isimplycan'timaginewho
Wouldgoand(burp)eatthebaby.
141
:3
IhaveaBand-Aidonmyfinger.
Oneonmyknee,andoneonmynose,
Oneonmyheel,andtwoonmyshoulder.
Threeonmyelbow,andnineonmytoes.
Twoonmywrist,andoneonmyankle.
Oneonmychin,andoneonmythigh.
Fouronmybelly,andfiveonmybottom.
Oneonmyforehead,andoneonmyeye.
Oneonmyneck,andincaseImightneed'em
Ihaveaboxfullofthirty-fivemore.
Butoh!Idothinkit'ssortofapity
Idon'thaveacutorasore!
DREADFUL
I
Someoneatethebaby,
It'srathersadtosay.
Someoneatethebaby
Soshewon'tbeouttoplay.
We'llneverhearherwhineycry
Orhavetofeelifsheisdry.
We'llneverhearherasking"Why?"
Someoneatethebaby.
Someoneatethebaby.
It'sabsolutelyclear
Someoneatethebaby
'Causethebabyisn'there.
We'llgiveawayhertoysandclothes.
We'llneverhavetowipehernose.
Dadsays,"That'sthewayitgoes."
Someoneatethebaby.
Someoneatethebaby.
Whatafrightfulthingtoeat!
Someoneatethebaby
Thoughshewasn'tverysweet.
Itwasaheartlessthingtodo.
Thepolicemenhaven'tgotaclue.
Isimplycan'timaginewho
Wouldgoand(burp)eatthebaby.
141
:3
SKINNY
i
SkinnyMcGuinn
wassoterriblythin
thatwhiletakinghisbath
Sundaynight,
outpoppedtheplug
andsloosh-swoosh
andglug-glug
itwashedSkinny
rightdownthedrain
outofsight.
AndwhereisourdearSkinny
bathingtonight?
Insomeundergroundpool
downbelow?
THELANDOFHAPPY
HaveyoubeentoTheLandofHappy,
Whereeveryone'shappyallday.
Wheretheyjokeandtheysing
Ofthehappiestthings,
Andeverything'sjollyandgay?
There'snooneunhappyinHappy,
There'slaughterandsmilesgalore.
IhavebeentoTheLandofHappy—
Whatabore!
143
i
SkinnyMcGuinn
wassoterriblythin
thatwhiletakinghisbath
Sundaynight,
outpoppedtheplug
andsloosh-swoosh
andglug-glug
itwashedSkinny
rightdownthedrain
outofsight.
AndwhereisourdearSkinny
bathingtonight?
Insomeundergroundpool
downbelow?
THELANDOFHAPPY
HaveyoubeentoTheLandofHappy,
Whereeveryone'shappyallday.
Wheretheyjokeandtheysing
Ofthehappiestthings,
Andeverything'sjollyandgay?
There'snooneunhappyinHappy,
There'slaughterandsmilesgalore.
IhavebeentoTheLandofHappy—
Whatabore!
143
-3
^
^
O
V
&
PIRATECAPTAINJIM
"1
"Walktheplank,"saysPirateJim.
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotswim."
"Thenyoumuststeerusthroughthegale."
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotsail."
"Thendownwiththegalleyslavesyougo.
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotrow."
"Thenyoumustbethepirate'sclerk."
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotwork."
"Thenapiratecaptainyoumustbe."
"Thankyou,Jim,"saysCaptainMe.
FISH?
Thelittlefisheatsthetinyfish,
Thebigfisheatsthelittlefish
—
Soonlythebiggestfishgetfat.
Doyouknowanyfolkslikethat?
^
^
O
V
&
PIRATECAPTAINJIM
"1
"Walktheplank,"saysPirateJim.
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotswim."
"Thenyoumuststeerusthroughthegale."
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotsail."
"Thendownwiththegalleyslavesyougo.
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotrow."
"Thenyoumustbethepirate'sclerk."
"ButCaptainJim,Icannotwork."
"Thenapiratecaptainyoumustbe."
"Thankyou,Jim,"saysCaptainMe.
FISH?
Thelittlefisheatsthetinyfish,
Thebigfisheatsthelittlefish
—
Soonlythebiggestfishgetfat.
Doyouknowanyfolkslikethat?
IFTHEWORLDWASCRAZY
Iftheworldwascrazy,youknowwhatI'deat?
Abigsliceofsoupandawholequartofmeat,
Alemonadesandwich,andthenImighttry
Someroastedicecreamorabicyclepie,
Anicenotebooksalad,anunderwearroast,
Anomeletofhatsandsomecrispcardboardtoast,
Athickmaltedmilkmadefrompencilsanddaisies.
Andthat'swhatI'deatiftheworldwascrazy.
Iftheworldwascrazy,youknowwhatI'dwear?
Achocolatesuitandatieofeclair.
Some.marshmallowearmuffs,somelicoriceshoes,
« AndI'dreadapaperofpeppermintnews.
• I'dcalltheboys"Suzy"andI'dcallthegirls"Harry,"
I'dtalkthroughmyears,andIalwayswouldcarry
Apaperumbrellaforwhenitgrewhazy
I Tokeepintherain,iftheworldwascrazy.
Iftheworldwascrazy,youknowwhatI'ddo?
I'dwalkontheoceanandswiminmyshoe,
I'dflythroughthegroundandI'dskipthroughtheair,
I'drundownthebathtubandbatheonthestair.
WhenImetsomebodyI'dsay"G'bye,Joe,"
AndwhenIwasleaving—thenI'dsay"Hello."
Andthegreatestofmenwouldbesillyandlazy
SoIwouldbeking...iftheworldwascrazy.
146
STONETELLING
Howdowetellifawindowisopen?
Justthrowastoneatit.
Doesitmakeanoise?
Itdoesn't?
Well,itwasopen.
Nowlet'stryanother ..
.
CRASH!
Itwasn't!
Chestercometoschoolandsaid,
"Dum,Igrowedanotherhead."
Teachersaid,"It'stimeyouknowed
Thewordis'grew'insteadof'growed.'
"
147
Iftheworldwascrazy,youknowwhatI'deat?
Abigsliceofsoupandawholequartofmeat,
Alemonadesandwich,andthenImighttry
Someroastedicecreamorabicyclepie,
Anicenotebooksalad,anunderwearroast,
Anomeletofhatsandsomecrispcardboardtoast,
Athickmaltedmilkmadefrompencilsanddaisies.
Andthat'swhatI'deatiftheworldwascrazy.
Iftheworldwascrazy,youknowwhatI'dwear?
Achocolatesuitandatieofeclair.
Some.marshmallowearmuffs,somelicoriceshoes,
« AndI'dreadapaperofpeppermintnews.
• I'dcalltheboys"Suzy"andI'dcallthegirls"Harry,"
I'dtalkthroughmyears,andIalwayswouldcarry
Apaperumbrellaforwhenitgrewhazy
I Tokeepintherain,iftheworldwascrazy.
Iftheworldwascrazy,youknowwhatI'ddo?
I'dwalkontheoceanandswiminmyshoe,
I'dflythroughthegroundandI'dskipthroughtheair,
I'drundownthebathtubandbatheonthestair.
WhenImetsomebodyI'dsay"G'bye,Joe,"
AndwhenIwasleaving—thenI'dsay"Hello."
Andthegreatestofmenwouldbesillyandlazy
SoIwouldbeking...iftheworldwascrazy.
146
STONETELLING
Howdowetellifawindowisopen?
Justthrowastoneatit.
Doesitmakeanoise?
Itdoesn't?
Well,itwasopen.
Nowlet'stryanother ..
.
CRASH!
Itwasn't!
Chestercometoschoolandsaid,
"Dum,Igrowedanotherhead."
Teachersaid,"It'stimeyouknowed
Thewordis'grew'insteadof'growed.'
"
147
THESILVERFISH
Whilefishinginthebluelagoon
Icaughtalovelysilverfish.
Andhespoketome."Myboy,"quothhe,
"PleasesetmefreeandI'llgrantyourwish
Akingdomofwisdom?Apalaceofgold?
Orallthegoodiesyourfanciescanhold?"
SoIsaid,"OK,"andIthrewhimfree.
Andheswamawayandhelaughedatme
Whisperingmyfoolishwish
Intoasilentsea.
TodayIcaughtthatfishagain.
Thatlovelysilverprinceoffishes.
Andonceagainheofferedme
—
IfIwouldonlysethimfree
—
Anyoneofanumberofwonderfulwishes.
.
Hewasdelicious!
FORGOTTENLANGUAGE
OnceIspokethelanguageoftheflowers.
OnceIunderstoodeachwordthecaterpillarsaid.
OnceIsmiledinsecretatthegossipofthestarlings.
Andsharedaconversationwiththehousefly
inmybed.
OnceIheardandansweredallthequestions
ofthecrickets,
Andjoinedthecryingofeachfallingdying
flakeofsnow.
OnceIspokethelanguageoftheflowers....
Howdiditgo?
Howdiditgo?
148
Whilefishinginthebluelagoon
Icaughtalovelysilverfish.
Andhespoketome."Myboy,"quothhe,
"PleasesetmefreeandI'llgrantyourwish
Akingdomofwisdom?Apalaceofgold?
Orallthegoodiesyourfanciescanhold?"
SoIsaid,"OK,"andIthrewhimfree.
Andheswamawayandhelaughedatme
Whisperingmyfoolishwish
Intoasilentsea.
TodayIcaughtthatfishagain.
Thatlovelysilverprinceoffishes.
Andonceagainheofferedme
—
IfIwouldonlysethimfree
—
Anyoneofanumberofwonderfulwishes.
.
Hewasdelicious!
FORGOTTENLANGUAGE
OnceIspokethelanguageoftheflowers.
OnceIunderstoodeachwordthecaterpillarsaid.
OnceIsmiledinsecretatthegossipofthestarlings.
Andsharedaconversationwiththehousefly
inmybed.
OnceIheardandansweredallthequestions
ofthecrickets,
Andjoinedthecryingofeachfallingdying
flakeofsnow.
OnceIspokethelanguageoftheflowers....
Howdiditgo?
Howdiditgo?
148
THEGENERALS
SaidGeneralClaytoGeneralGore,
"Ohmustwefightthissillywar?
Tokillanddieissuchabore."
"Iquiteagree,"saidGeneralGore.
150
SaidGeneralGoretoGeneralClay,
"Wecouldgotothebeachtoday
Andhavesomeicecreamontheway."
"Agrandidea,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralClaytoGeneralGore,
"We'llbuildsandcastlesontheshore."
SaidGeneralGore,"We'llsplashandplay."
"Let'sleaverightnow,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralGoretoGeneralClay,
"Butwhatiftheseaisclosedtoday?
Andwhatifthesand'sbeenblownaway?"
"Adreadfulthought,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralGoretoGeneralClay,
"I'vealwaysfearedtheocean'sspray,
Andwemaydrown!""It'strue,wemay.
Itchillsmyblood,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralClaytoGeneralGore,
"Mybathingsuitisslightlytore.
We'dbettergoonwithourwar."
"Iquiteagree,"saidGeneralGore.
ThenGeneralClaychargedGeneralGore
Asbulletsflewandcannonsroared.
Andnow,alas!thereisnomore
OfGeneralClayorGeneralGore.
151
SaidGeneralClaytoGeneralGore,
"Ohmustwefightthissillywar?
Tokillanddieissuchabore."
"Iquiteagree,"saidGeneralGore.
150
SaidGeneralGoretoGeneralClay,
"Wecouldgotothebeachtoday
Andhavesomeicecreamontheway."
"Agrandidea,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralClaytoGeneralGore,
"We'llbuildsandcastlesontheshore."
SaidGeneralGore,"We'llsplashandplay."
"Let'sleaverightnow,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralGoretoGeneralClay,
"Butwhatiftheseaisclosedtoday?
Andwhatifthesand'sbeenblownaway?"
"Adreadfulthought,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralGoretoGeneralClay,
"I'vealwaysfearedtheocean'sspray,
Andwemaydrown!""It'strue,wemay.
Itchillsmyblood,"saidGeneralClay.
SaidGeneralClaytoGeneralGore,
"Mybathingsuitisslightlytore.
We'dbettergoonwithourwar."
"Iquiteagree,"saidGeneralGore.
ThenGeneralClaychargedGeneralGore
Asbulletsflewandcannonsroared.
Andnow,alas!thereisnomore
OfGeneralClayorGeneralGore.
151
JUSTME,JUSTME
SweetMarie,shelovesjustme
(ShealsolovesMauriceMcGhee).
Noshedon't,shelovesjustme
(ShealsolovesLouiseDupree).
Noshedon't,shelovesjustme
(Shealsolovesthewillowtree).
Noshedon't,shelovesjustme!
(Poor,poorfool,whycan'tyousee
Shecanloveothersandstilllovethee.)
STANDING
Standingonmyelbow
Withmyfingerinmyear.
Bitingonadandelion.
Andhummingkindofqueer
WhileIwatchedayellowcaterpillar
Creepingupmywrist,
Ileanedonatree
AndIsaidtome,
"WhyamIdoingthis?''
152
THEONEWHOSTAYED
Youshouldhaveheardtheoldmencry,
Youshouldhaveheardthebiddies
Whenthatsadstrangerraisedhisflute
Andpipedawaythekiddies.
Katy,Tommy,MegandBob
Followed,skippinggaily,
Red-hairedRuth,mybrotherRob,
AndlittlecrippledBailey,
JohnandNilsandCousinClaire,
Dancin',spinnin',turnin'
'CrossthehillstoGodknowswhere
—
Theynevercamereturnin'.
'CrossthehillstoGodknowswhere
Thepiperpranced,aleadin'
EachchildinHamlinTownbutme,
AndIstayedhomeunheedin'.
MypapasaysthatIwasblest
Forifthatmusicfoundme,
I'dbewitch-castlikealltherest.
Thistowngrowsoldaroundme.
IcannotsayIdidnothear
Thatsoundsohauntinghollow
—
Iheard,Iheard,Ihearditclear ..
.
Iwasafraidtofollow.
1
SweetMarie,shelovesjustme
(ShealsolovesMauriceMcGhee).
Noshedon't,shelovesjustme
(ShealsolovesLouiseDupree).
Noshedon't,shelovesjustme
(Shealsolovesthewillowtree).
Noshedon't,shelovesjustme!
(Poor,poorfool,whycan'tyousee
Shecanloveothersandstilllovethee.)
STANDING
Standingonmyelbow
Withmyfingerinmyear.
Bitingonadandelion.
Andhummingkindofqueer
WhileIwatchedayellowcaterpillar
Creepingupmywrist,
Ileanedonatree
AndIsaidtome,
"WhyamIdoingthis?''
152
THEONEWHOSTAYED
Youshouldhaveheardtheoldmencry,
Youshouldhaveheardthebiddies
Whenthatsadstrangerraisedhisflute
Andpipedawaythekiddies.
Katy,Tommy,MegandBob
Followed,skippinggaily,
Red-hairedRuth,mybrotherRob,
AndlittlecrippledBailey,
JohnandNilsandCousinClaire,
Dancin',spinnin',turnin'
'CrossthehillstoGodknowswhere
—
Theynevercamereturnin'.
'CrossthehillstoGodknowswhere
Thepiperpranced,aleadin'
EachchildinHamlinTownbutme,
AndIstayedhomeunheedin'.
MypapasaysthatIwasblest
Forifthatmusicfoundme,
I'dbewitch-castlikealltherest.
Thistowngrowsoldaroundme.
IcannotsayIdidnothear
Thatsoundsohauntinghollow
—
Iheard,Iheard,Ihearditclear ..
.
Iwasafraidtofollow.
1
Andeveryonesaid,"You'remuchtoosmall,"
Butthatdidn'tbotherMelindaatall.
Shetooklittlebitesandshechewedveryslow
Justlikeagoodgirlshould ..
.
Butthatdidn'tbotherMelindaatall.
Shetooklittlebitesandshechewedveryslow
Justlikeagoodgirlshould ..
.
...Andineighty-nineyearssheatethatwhale
JoraneocViaoai^0V10
14 156 157
JoraneocViaoai^0V10
14 156 157
THELITTLEBLUEENGINE
Thelittleblueenginelookedupatthehill.
Hislightwasweak,hiswhistlewasshrill.
Hewastiredandsmall,andthehillwastall.
Andhisfaceblushedredashesoftlysaid,
"IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan."
Sohestartedupwithachugandastrain,
Andhepuffedandpulledwithmightandmain.
Andslowlyheclimbed,afootatatime,
Andhisenginecoughedashewhisperedsoft,
"IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan."
Withasqueakandacreakandatootandasigh,
Withanextrahopeandanextratry.
Hewouldnotstop—nowhenearedthetop
—
Andstrongandproudhecriedoutloud,
"IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan!"
Hewasalmostthere,when—CRASH!SMASH!BASH!
Hesliddownandmashedintoenginehash
Ontherocksbelow ...whichgoestoshow
Ifthetrackistoughandthehillisrough,
THINKINGyoucanjustain'tenough!
I
AFRAIDOFTHEDARK
I'mReginaldClark,I'mafraidofthedark
SoIalwaysinsistonthelighton.
Andmyteddytohug,
Andmyblankettorub,
Andmythumbytosuckortobiteon.
Andthreebedtimestories.
Twotripstothetoilet,
Twoprayers,andfivehugsfrommymommy,
I'mReginaldClark,I'mafraidofthedark
Sopleasedonotclosethisbookonme.
Thelittleblueenginelookedupatthehill.
Hislightwasweak,hiswhistlewasshrill.
Hewastiredandsmall,andthehillwastall.
Andhisfaceblushedredashesoftlysaid,
"IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan."
Sohestartedupwithachugandastrain,
Andhepuffedandpulledwithmightandmain.
Andslowlyheclimbed,afootatatime,
Andhisenginecoughedashewhisperedsoft,
"IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan."
Withasqueakandacreakandatootandasigh,
Withanextrahopeandanextratry.
Hewouldnotstop—nowhenearedthetop
—
Andstrongandproudhecriedoutloud,
"IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan,IthinkIcan!"
Hewasalmostthere,when—CRASH!SMASH!BASH!
Hesliddownandmashedintoenginehash
Ontherocksbelow ...whichgoestoshow
Ifthetrackistoughandthehillisrough,
THINKINGyoucanjustain'tenough!
I
AFRAIDOFTHEDARK
I'mReginaldClark,I'mafraidofthedark
SoIalwaysinsistonthelighton.
Andmyteddytohug,
Andmyblankettorub,
Andmythumbytosuckortobiteon.
Andthreebedtimestories.
Twotripstothetoilet,
Twoprayers,andfivehugsfrommymommy,
I'mReginaldClark,I'mafraidofthedark
Sopleasedonotclosethisbookonme.
HUNGRYMUNGRY
HungryMungrysatatsupper,
Tookhisknifeandspoonandfork.
Ateabowlofmushroomsoup,ateasliceofroastedpork,
Ateadozenstewedtomatoes,twenty-sevendeviledeggs,
Fifteenshrimps,ninebakedpotatoes,
Thirty-twofriedchickenlegs,
Ashankoflamb,aboiledham.
Twobowlsofgrits,someblack-eyepeas.
Fourchocolateshakes,eightangelcakes.
NinecustardpieswithMuenstercheese,
Tenpotsoftea,andafterhe
Hadeatenallthathewasable,
Hepouredsomebrothonthetablecloth
Andatethekitchentable.
Hisparentssaid,"OhHungryMungry,stopthesesillyjokes."
Mungryopeneduphismouth,and"Gulp,"heatehisfolks.
Andthenhewentandatehishouse,allthebricksandwood.
Andthenheateupallthepeopleintheneighborhood.
Upcametwentyangrypolicemenshouting,"Stopandcease."
Mungryopeneduphismouthand"Gulp,"heatethepolice.
Soldierscamewithtanksandguns.
SaidMungry,"Theycan'tharmme."
HejustsmiledandlickedhislipsandatetheU.S.Army.
ThePresidentsentallhisbombers—Mungrystillwascalm,
Puthisheadback,gulpedtheplanes,andgobbledupthebomb.
Heatehistownandatethecity—ateandateandate
—
Andthenhesaid,"IthinkI'lleatthewholeUnitedStates."
AndsoheateChicagofirstandmunchedtheWaterTower,
AndthenhechewedonPittsburghbuthefounditrathersour.
HeateNewYorkandTennessee,andallofBostontown,
ThendranktheMississippiRiverjusttowashitdown.
Andwhenhe'deateneverystate,eachpuppy,boyandgirl
Hewipedhismouthuponhissleeveandwenttoeattheworld.
HeatetheEgyptpyramidsandeverychurchinRome,
AndallthegrassinAfricaandalltheiceinNome.
HeateeachhillingreenBrazilandthentomakethingsworse
Hedecidedfordesserthe'deattheuniverse.
Hestartedwiththemoonandstarsandsoonashewasdone
Hegulpedtheclouds,hesippedthewindandgobbledupthesun.
Thensittingthereinthecolddarkair,
Hestartedtonibblehisfeet.
Thenhislegs,thenhiships
Thenhisneck,thenhislips
Tillhesattherejustgnashin'histeeth
'Causenothin'wasnothin'was
Nothin'wasnothin'was
Nothin'waslefttoeat.
HungryMungrysatatsupper,
Tookhisknifeandspoonandfork.
Ateabowlofmushroomsoup,ateasliceofroastedpork,
Ateadozenstewedtomatoes,twenty-sevendeviledeggs,
Fifteenshrimps,ninebakedpotatoes,
Thirty-twofriedchickenlegs,
Ashankoflamb,aboiledham.
Twobowlsofgrits,someblack-eyepeas.
Fourchocolateshakes,eightangelcakes.
NinecustardpieswithMuenstercheese,
Tenpotsoftea,andafterhe
Hadeatenallthathewasable,
Hepouredsomebrothonthetablecloth
Andatethekitchentable.
Hisparentssaid,"OhHungryMungry,stopthesesillyjokes."
Mungryopeneduphismouth,and"Gulp,"heatehisfolks.
Andthenhewentandatehishouse,allthebricksandwood.
Andthenheateupallthepeopleintheneighborhood.
Upcametwentyangrypolicemenshouting,"Stopandcease."
Mungryopeneduphismouthand"Gulp,"heatethepolice.
Soldierscamewithtanksandguns.
SaidMungry,"Theycan'tharmme."
HejustsmiledandlickedhislipsandatetheU.S.Army.
ThePresidentsentallhisbombers—Mungrystillwascalm,
Puthisheadback,gulpedtheplanes,andgobbledupthebomb.
Heatehistownandatethecity—ateandateandate
—
Andthenhesaid,"IthinkI'lleatthewholeUnitedStates."
AndsoheateChicagofirstandmunchedtheWaterTower,
AndthenhechewedonPittsburghbuthefounditrathersour.
HeateNewYorkandTennessee,andallofBostontown,
ThendranktheMississippiRiverjusttowashitdown.
Andwhenhe'deateneverystate,eachpuppy,boyandgirl
Hewipedhismouthuponhissleeveandwenttoeattheworld.
HeatetheEgyptpyramidsandeverychurchinRome,
AndallthegrassinAfricaandalltheiceinNome.
HeateeachhillingreenBrazilandthentomakethingsworse
Hedecidedfordesserthe'deattheuniverse.
Hestartedwiththemoonandstarsandsoonashewasdone
Hegulpedtheclouds,hesippedthewindandgobbledupthesun.
Thensittingthereinthecolddarkair,
Hestartedtonibblehisfeet.
Thenhislegs,thenhiships
Thenhisneck,thenhislips
Tillhesattherejustgnashin'histeeth
'Causenothin'wasnothin'was
Nothin'wasnothin'was
Nothin'waslefttoeat.
MYBEARD
Mybeardgrowstomytoes,
Ineverwearsnoclothes,
Iwrapsmyhair
Aroundmybare.
AnddowntheroadIgoes.
Mybeardgrowstomytoes,
Ineverwearsnoclothes,
Iwrapsmyhair
Aroundmybare.
AnddowntheroadIgoes.
MERRY ..
.
Noone'shangin'stockin'sup.
Noone'sbakin'pie.
Noone'slookin'uptosee
Anewstarinthesky.
Noone'stalkin'brotherhood,
Noone'sgivin'gifts,
AndnoonelovesaChristmastree
OnMarchthetwenty-fifth.
.
Noone'shangin'stockin'sup.
Noone'sbakin'pie.
Noone'slookin'uptosee
Anewstarinthesky.
Noone'stalkin'brotherhood,
Noone'sgivin'gifts,
AndnoonelovesaChristmastree
OnMarchthetwenty-fifth.
THESEARCH
Iwenttofindthepotofgold
That'swaitingwheretherainbowends.
Isearchedandsearchedandsearchedandsearched
Andsearchedandsearched,andthen
—
Thereitwas,deepinthegrass,
Underanoldandtwistybough.
It'smine,it'smine,it'smineatlast
WhatdoIsearchfornow?
166
Iwenttofindthepotofgold
That'swaitingwheretherainbowends.
Isearchedandsearchedandsearchedandsearched
Andsearchedandsearched,andthen
—
Thereitwas,deepinthegrass,
Underanoldandtwistybough.
It'smine,it'smine,it'smineatlast
WhatdoIsearchfornow?
166
INDEX
Acrobats,10
AfraidoftheDark,159
Alice,112
BagpipeWhoDidn'tSayNo,
132-133
Band-Aids,140
Bang-Klang,120
Battle,105
BenjaminBunnn,104
Bloath,108
BoaConstrictor,45
CaptainHook,18
Chester,147
Colors,24
Crocodile'sToothache,66
DancingPants,126
DirtiestManintheWorld,
96-97
Double-TailDog,123
Drats,72
Dreadful,141
EarlyBird,30
EdgeoftheWorld,89
EighteenFlavors,116
EnterThisDesertedHouse.56
FarmerandtheQueen,
32-33
Fish?,145
Flag,24
FlyingFestoon.80
ForSale,52
4
ForgottenLanguage.149
Fourth,15
Fred?,135
Garden,61
Generals,150-151
GoogiesAreComing,50
Hat.74
HectortheCollector,46-47
Helping,101
HomemadeBoat.12
Hugo'War.19
HungryMungry,160-161
IMustRemember,14
IWon'tHatch!,127
IckleMe.PickleMe.
TickleMeToo,16-17
IfIHadaBrontosaurus,103
IftheWorldWasCrazy.146
I'mMakingaList,37
Instructions,129
Invention,48
InvisibleBoy,82
Invitation,9
It'sDarkinHere,21
Jimmy JetandHisTVSet.
28-29
Joey,26
JumpingRope,62
JustMe,JustMe.152
LandofHappy,143
LazyJane,87
Lester,69
ListentotheMustn'ts,27
LittleBlueEngine,158
LongestNose,134-135
Long-HairedBoy,137-139
Loser.25
Love,95
MaandGod,119
Magic,11
MagicalEraser,99
MeandMyGiant.38-39
MelindaMae,154-156
Merry....164
Me-Stew,122
MinnowMinnie,105
MyBeard,163
MyHobby.129
MyRules,74
NoDifference,81
OhHaveYouHeard,75
OneInchTall,55
Acrobats,10
AfraidoftheDark,159
Alice,112
BagpipeWhoDidn'tSayNo,
132-133
Band-Aids,140
Bang-Klang,120
Battle,105
BenjaminBunnn,104
Bloath,108
BoaConstrictor,45
CaptainHook,18
Chester,147
Colors,24
Crocodile'sToothache,66
DancingPants,126
DirtiestManintheWorld,
96-97
Double-TailDog,123
Drats,72
Dreadful,141
EarlyBird,30
EdgeoftheWorld,89
EighteenFlavors,116
EnterThisDesertedHouse.56
FarmerandtheQueen,
32-33
Fish?,145
Flag,24
FlyingFestoon.80
ForSale,52
4
ForgottenLanguage.149
Fourth,15
Fred?,135
Garden,61
Generals,150-151
GoogiesAreComing,50
Hat.74
HectortheCollector,46-47
Helping,101
HomemadeBoat.12
Hugo'War.19
HungryMungry,160-161
IMustRemember,14
IWon'tHatch!,127
IckleMe.PickleMe.
TickleMeToo,16-17
IfIHadaBrontosaurus,103
IftheWorldWasCrazy.146
I'mMakingaList,37
Instructions,129
Invention,48
InvisibleBoy,82
Invitation,9
It'sDarkinHere,21
Jimmy JetandHisTVSet.
28-29
Joey,26
JumpingRope,62
JustMe,JustMe.152
LandofHappy,143
LazyJane,87
Lester,69
ListentotheMustn'ts,27
LittleBlueEngine,158
LongestNose,134-135
Long-HairedBoy,137-139
Loser.25
Love,95
MaandGod,119
Magic,11
MagicalEraser,99
MeandMyGiant.38-39
MelindaMae,154-156
Merry....164
Me-Stew,122
MinnowMinnie,105
MyBeard,163
MyHobby.129
MyRules,74
NoDifference,81
OhHaveYouHeard,75
OneInchTall,55
OneWhoStayed,153
Ourchestra,23
Pancake?,34
PaulBunyan,124-125
Peanut-ButterSandwich,84-86
PirateCaptainJim,144
PlanetofMars,93
PoemontheNeckofa
RunningGiraffe,A,107
PointofView,98
PoorAngus,117
Rain,40
Razor-TailedWren,106
Recipe foraHippopotamus
Sandwich,115
RidiculousRose,63
RudyFelsh,134
SantaandtheReindeer,90-
91
SarahCynthiaSylviaStout
WouldNotTaketheGar-
bageOut,70-71
Search,166
ShadowWash,113
Sick,58-59
SilverFish,148
Skinny,142
SkySeasoning,31
SleepingSardines,54
Smart,35
Snowman,65
Spaghetti,100
Standing,152
StoneTelling,147
Thumbs.68
TightHat,83
Toucan,92
TrafficLight,121
TreeHouse,79
TrueStory,43
TwoBoxes,41
Unicorn,76-77
Upstairs,60
Us.36
Warning,75
WhataDay,118
What'sintheSack?,Ill
WheretheSidewalkEnds,64
Who,63
WildBoar,68
WithHisMouthFullofFood,
128
Won'tYou?,112
Worst,130
Yipiyuk,109
Ourchestra,23
Pancake?,34
PaulBunyan,124-125
Peanut-ButterSandwich,84-86
PirateCaptainJim,144
PlanetofMars,93
PoemontheNeckofa
RunningGiraffe,A,107
PointofView,98
PoorAngus,117
Rain,40
Razor-TailedWren,106
Recipe foraHippopotamus
Sandwich,115
RidiculousRose,63
RudyFelsh,134
SantaandtheReindeer,90-
91
SarahCynthiaSylviaStout
WouldNotTaketheGar-
bageOut,70-71
Search,166
ShadowWash,113
Sick,58-59
SilverFish,148
Skinny,142
SkySeasoning,31
SleepingSardines,54
Smart,35
Snowman,65
Spaghetti,100
Standing,152
StoneTelling,147
Thumbs.68
TightHat,83
Toucan,92
TrafficLight,121
TreeHouse,79
TrueStory,43
TwoBoxes,41
Unicorn,76-77
Upstairs,60
Us.36
Warning,75
WhataDay,118
What'sintheSack?,Ill
WheretheSidewalkEnds,64
Who,63
WildBoar,68
WithHisMouthFullofFood,
128
Won'tYou?,112
Worst,130
Yipiyuk,109
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thefollowingpoemshavebeenpublishedpreviouslyin
slightlydifferentversions:
"IMusiRemember.’'"Flag."and"OhHaveYouHeard”previouslyappeared inPoemstorSeasons
andCelebrationseditedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1961byWilliamCole.WorldPublishing
Company."OhHaveYouHeard”previouslyappearedas"OhDidYouHear?"
"EarlyBird"lirstappearedinPoetryBrieleditedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1971byWilliam
Cole.TheMacmillanCompany.Thepoemalsoappearedinlyriciorm.©Copyright1973EvilEye
Music.Inc..NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"Rain.""ForSale.""TightHat.""IiIHadaBrontosaurus,"and"TheGenerals"previouslyappeared
inOh.That'sRidiculous!PoemsselectedbyWilliamCole.Textcopyright©1972byWilliamCole.
TheVikingPress.Inc."TheGenerals"alsoappearedinlyricIormas"ThePeaceProposal."©
Copyright1972EvilEyeMusic,Inc..NewYork,NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"BoaConstrictor" lira!appeared inlyricform.TRO-©Copyright1962.1968,and1969byHollis
Music.Inc..NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission."BoaConstrictor" alsoappeared inOh,
WhatNonsense!PoemsselectedbyWilliamCole.Textcopyright©1966byWilliamCole.The
VikingPress,Inc,
"Invention"and"MyRules”previouslyappearedinPickMeUp:ABookotShortPoemseditedby
WilliamCole.Copyright©1972byWilliamCole.TheMacmillanCompany.
"SarahCynthiaSylviaStoutWouldNotTaketheGarbageOut”lirstappeared inBeastlyBoysand
GhastlyGirlseditedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1964byWilliamCole.WorldPublishingCom-
pany.ThepoemalsoappearedinlyricIormas"SahraCynthiaSylviaStoutWouldNotTakethe
GarbageOut."©Copyright1973EvilEyeMusic.Inc.,NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"Drats”previouslyappearedas"Wanted" inACat-Hater’sHandbookortheAilurophobe's Delight
editedbyWilliamColeandTorn!Ungerer.Copyright©1963byWilliamColeandTomiUngerer,
TheDialPress.Inc.
"TheUnicorn"and"TheFlyingFestoon"previouslyappearedinlyricform.TRO-©Copyright
1962and1968HollisMusic,Inc.,NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"Helping" firstappearedinlyricforminFreeToBe ...YouandMe.Copyright©1972byTheMs.
Foundation lorWomen.Inc.ThepoemalsoappearedinFreeToBe.. .YouandMe.Copyright
©1974.FreetobeFoundation,Inc.McGraw-HillBookCompany.
"TheBloath"previouslyappearedas"AbouttheBloath”inTheBirdsandtheBeastsWereThere
editedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1963byWilliamCole.WorldPublishingCompany.
"Won’tYou?"previouslyappearedasanuntitledpoeminABookotLovePoemseditedbyWilliam
Cole.Copyright©1965byWilliamCole.TheVikingPress,Inc.
"PaulBunyan"previouslyappearedinlyricform.©Copyright 1968,1969EvilEyeMusic,Inc-
NewYork,NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"TheSilverFish”previouslyappearedinTheSea,ShipsandSailors:Poems.SongsandShanties
selectedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1967byWilliamCole.TheVikingPress,Inc.
Thefollowingpoemshavebeenpublishedpreviouslyin
slightlydifferentversions:
"IMusiRemember.’'"Flag."and"OhHaveYouHeard”previouslyappeared inPoemstorSeasons
andCelebrationseditedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1961byWilliamCole.WorldPublishing
Company."OhHaveYouHeard”previouslyappearedas"OhDidYouHear?"
"EarlyBird"lirstappearedinPoetryBrieleditedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1971byWilliam
Cole.TheMacmillanCompany.Thepoemalsoappearedinlyriciorm.©Copyright1973EvilEye
Music.Inc..NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"Rain.""ForSale.""TightHat.""IiIHadaBrontosaurus,"and"TheGenerals"previouslyappeared
inOh.That'sRidiculous!PoemsselectedbyWilliamCole.Textcopyright©1972byWilliamCole.
TheVikingPress.Inc."TheGenerals"alsoappearedinlyricIormas"ThePeaceProposal."©
Copyright1972EvilEyeMusic,Inc..NewYork,NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"BoaConstrictor" lira!appeared inlyricform.TRO-©Copyright1962.1968,and1969byHollis
Music.Inc..NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission."BoaConstrictor" alsoappeared inOh,
WhatNonsense!PoemsselectedbyWilliamCole.Textcopyright©1966byWilliamCole.The
VikingPress,Inc,
"Invention"and"MyRules”previouslyappearedinPickMeUp:ABookotShortPoemseditedby
WilliamCole.Copyright©1972byWilliamCole.TheMacmillanCompany.
"SarahCynthiaSylviaStoutWouldNotTaketheGarbageOut”lirstappeared inBeastlyBoysand
GhastlyGirlseditedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1964byWilliamCole.WorldPublishingCom-
pany.ThepoemalsoappearedinlyricIormas"SahraCynthiaSylviaStoutWouldNotTakethe
GarbageOut."©Copyright1973EvilEyeMusic.Inc.,NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"Drats”previouslyappearedas"Wanted" inACat-Hater’sHandbookortheAilurophobe's Delight
editedbyWilliamColeandTorn!Ungerer.Copyright©1963byWilliamColeandTomiUngerer,
TheDialPress.Inc.
"TheUnicorn"and"TheFlyingFestoon"previouslyappearedinlyricform.TRO-©Copyright
1962and1968HollisMusic,Inc.,NewYork.NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"Helping" firstappearedinlyricforminFreeToBe ...YouandMe.Copyright©1972byTheMs.
Foundation lorWomen.Inc.ThepoemalsoappearedinFreeToBe.. .YouandMe.Copyright
©1974.FreetobeFoundation,Inc.McGraw-HillBookCompany.
"TheBloath"previouslyappearedas"AbouttheBloath”inTheBirdsandtheBeastsWereThere
editedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1963byWilliamCole.WorldPublishingCompany.
"Won’tYou?"previouslyappearedasanuntitledpoeminABookotLovePoemseditedbyWilliam
Cole.Copyright©1965byWilliamCole.TheVikingPress,Inc.
"PaulBunyan"previouslyappearedinlyricform.©Copyright 1968,1969EvilEyeMusic,Inc-
NewYork,NewYork.Usedbypermission.
"TheSilverFish”previouslyappearedinTheSea,ShipsandSailors:Poems.SongsandShanties
selectedbyWilliamCole.Copyright©1967byWilliamCole.TheVikingPress,Inc.
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