Why women swing

Overview of the culture of swinging with particular focus on what drives women, men and couples to participate in swinging.

1. Swinging
Leanna Wolfe, PhD
Swinging
Leanna Wolfe, PhD

2. The Culture of SwingingThe Culture of Swinging
•Provides sexual variety for the man who
cannot afford a harem or a mistress or risk a
clandestine affair
•Clear distinctions are made between one’s
spouse and those who are play partners
•No Sex Object / Success Object Exchange
•Female popularity based on willingness to
say “yes.”
•Male popularity based on appearing kind,
considerate and sensitive to women’s needs.

3. Variations in SwingingVariations in Swinging
•Watch / Be Watched
•Engage Others As a Couple
•Create a Three (or More) Way Menage
•Engage Others As a Single
•Anonymous Sex
•Regular Play Partners
•Regular Play Community

4. Reasons Couples SwingReasons Couples Swing
•Enhance Their Relationship
–Discuss people / adventures
–Expand erotic repertoire
–Sex is for FUN
•Be Part of a Social Community
–Friends/Activities
–Bonded through group sexuality
–Reduce possibility of “special” relationships

5. Swinging and AIDSSwinging and AIDS
•Minnesota Club Tests
•Lifestyles Organization Response
•By 1987 50% drop in attendance
•1980s books on adultery and gender
dynamics
–Contrast to 60s and 70s books on open
marriage and communalism.

6. Swinging TodaySwinging Today
•House Parties (private)
•Membership Clubs
–New Horizons, LA Couples, Lush Club
•Hotel Dances
•Vacations and Resorts
–Hedonism II, Lifestyles, Caliente
•Conventions
•Internet
–Personal Ads, Links to Clubs

7. Sperm Competition
Syndrome
Sperm Competition
Syndrome
•Evolutionary Psychology Theory
•When men witness their partners having
sex with other men their own desire to
inseminate their wives is increased
promulgating an inter-uterine sperm war

8. How Swinging Limits
Jealousy
How Swinging Limits
Jealousy
•No Elaborate Seduction
–taste but don’t surrender
•Limited Sharing
–preserve social/legal monogamy
•Safer Sex
–viral and emotional

9. Microdrama IMicrodrama I
•Moment of Fear
–watching partner look lost in someone
else’s embrace…in passionate kisses
–watching their body melt into someone else
•Joy, Relief and Wild Passion
–partner returns! (connection is reaffirmed)
–momentary fears of loss and abandonment
are over, BUT the adrenaline is still there

10. Microdrama II
(the other side)
Microdrama II
(the other side)
•Your partner is watching you make love
with someone else
–in some moments you’re lost in the
embrace, the kiss, the considered passion
–in other moments you sense your partner’s
fears--you might never return
–these fears confirm their passion for you
–this fires up your adrenaline

11. Microdrama III
(the return)
Microdrama III
(the return)
•You bring the passion you created back
to your partner
•This passion becomes part of your own
home fire
•The adrenaline cycle becomes so
satisfying that both of you openly invite
more microdramas into your core
relationship

12. How Women Become
Swingers
How Women Become
Swingers
•Husband’s Fantasy
•Safely Practice Bisexuality
•High Sex Drive
•Curiosity

13. Why Single Women
Swing
Why Single Women
Swing
•Enjoy Sex
•Emotionally Secure
•Financially Independent
•Not Necessarily Looking for a Relationship

14. Why Women Leave
Swinging
Why Women Leave
Swinging
•Not Fulfilling
•Trouble with STDs
•Husband Too Jealous
•Difficulty finding compatible partners
•Other obligations (family, work, etc.)
•Marriage Ends

15. Why Women Stay
Swingers
Why Women Stay
Swingers
•Shift in Consciousness
•Enjoy the Freedom to Express Themselves
Sexually
•Bond with other Women
•Women Controlled Scene
•Enjoy Voyeurism/Exhibitionism
•Free to be a Slut and Still be safely Married