Definitions of Elaboration

1. Introductions and Conclusions
Effective Strategies for Going Beyond
the Formula
OSPI Instructional Support Materials for Writing
Middle / High School
These materials were prepared by teachers from
Washington state to help students improve their writing
skills.
Version2

2. Lessons for Introductions and
Conclusions

3. What are the purposes
of
introductions?
Why are introductions
important?

4. Purposes for Introductions
The introduction
•grabs the reader’s attention.
•clearly implies an organizational structure of the paper.
•includes support that is specific and relevant and
provides a clear, connected lead-in to a paper’s main
idea or thesis.
•includes a thesis that is stated or implied.

5. Ineffective Introductions
•I hope you enjoy…
•Hi, my name is…
•You are going to learn about…
•This essay/letter is about…
•I am going to tell you about…
•There are three reasons…

6. What are some effective ways
to introduce
a piece of writing?

7. Introduction Strategies
A writer may begin with
–an anecdote or scenario
–a quotation or dialogue
–a brief history or overview
–5 W’s of situation or issue
–an interesting fact
–a description
–a question
–taking a stand or making an announcement
–a contrasting situation
–a combination from this list.

8. Analyzing Introductions from
Printed Texts
•Does the introduction grab the reader’s
attention?
•Does the introduction imply or set-up a structure
for the essay?
•What structure would work?
•What introduction strategies did the author use?
•Why were they used?
•What is the main idea or thesis (either stated or
implied)?

9. Agenda of Lessons
Elaboration Module
•Defining Elaboration
•Asking Questions that Lead to Elaboration
•Recognizing Elaboration
•Show, Don't Tell
•Specific, Concrete Details versus General Language
•Elaboration within Sentences
•Layering --Elaboration Using Multiple Sentences
•Criteria for Assessment

10. DEFINING ELABORATION
Lesson 1

11. Definition of Elaboration
•Elaboration means. . .
–To tell the reader more using
•Specific words
•Extensions (phrases, clauses)
•Onion-like layering of detail
•Specific strategies, e.g., anecdotes or
scenario, lists for specificity, examples,
definitions, descriptions, quotations,
statistics, and facts.
Lesson 1

12. What does elaboration look like?
•ANECDOTES --An anecdote is a short
narrative inserted into an essay that
develops an idea or argument. This
sounds like. . .
Hey, I remember the time when I
had to carry my . . .
Once when I was in middle
school, the kids would
always. . .
Lesson 1

13. Develop your point with an anecdote.
Student sample
You can’t give up, Jack.
I remember one time
when I played on the high
school baseball team. We
were losing, and it was the
8
th
inning. Everyone was
getting discouraged, and
then the coach
said, “BOYS! You’ve got to
RALLY here! Turn your
ball caps around and GET
OUT THERE!”
So, Jack, turn your ball
cap –I mean ATTITUDE --
around and get out there!
Lesson 1

14. ANECDOTES -your turn
•Do you remember any teacherwho told lots of
stories as they were teaching? Or parentswho
told stories about “when they were young”?
•This is an effective way to make or develop a
point. Share some with your classmates.
Lesson 1

15. What does elaboration look like?
•EXAMPLES--provide more specific
information about an idea. This sounds
like. . .
The cats were all
acting like they were
crazy. For example,
one jumped at me with
all …
We had a barrage of
different weather last
week:
hail, rain, snow, and
sunshine.
My brothers always
seem to pick on me.
For instance, they may
hide my soccer shoes
before a game.
Lesson 1

16. Develop your point with an
example.
Student Sample
The game of golf can be
played for an entire lifetime
and also by yourself. People
of any age can go out and
play a round of golf whenever
they want as opposed to
team sports. For
example, football, soccer, an
d volleyball take an entire
team of people to play.How
many times are you going to
call up ten or more of your
friends and go play sports?
Lesson 1

17. EXAMPLES -your turn
•Examples are an effective way to help the
reader understand your ideas.
•Tell a classmate about a situation at
school and provide him/her with an
example.
Lesson 1

18. What does elaboration look like?
•DEFINITIONS--are restatements of an
unfamiliar word or phrase to tell what it
means. This sounds like…
The best part of our hot lunch program is the A La
Carte. What I mean by A La Carteis the little deli
line past the lunch line where you can buy
cookies, slushies, and candy bars.
Lesson 1

19. Develop your point with a definition.
Student sample
One of the best programs at
our school is something called
Brainworks. Brainworks is an
after-school program where kids
go and do their homework.They
even let you work on the
computers there. I like it a lot
because the lady who runs the
program keeps everyone pretty
quiet. At my house, I have 6 little
brothers and sisters, and there is
never a quiet place to work.
Lesson 1

20. DEFINITION –your turn
•Defining specific words shows an
awareness of the audience. It shows you
are thinking of what the audience knows
and what they don’t know.
•Talk to your classmate about some of the
“lingo” you hear at school. What would
you have to definefor your parents?
Lesson 1

21. What does elaboration look like?
•STATISTICS and FACTS --are the
numbers (data) and information that help
support your idea or argument.
Mom, did you know
that 98%of all my
friends get to stay
up until 1:00 AM on
weekends?
Well, Son, did you
know that 3 out of 4
parents would have
grounded you for
staying out so late?
Lesson 1
Kids who
smoke at an
early ageare
prone to heart
attacks later in
life.

22. Develop your point with facts and
statistics.
Student Sample
Another craze to sweep
America was the low-carb diet.
It was reported in the
newspaper after the last
holiday season that 67% of all
Americans were low-carb
dieting.Let me tell you the
personal impact that has had
on my family’s wheat farm
here in Washington.
Lesson 1

23. STATISTICS and FACTS –your
turn
•Talk to a partner and come up with a statistic
about school, e.g., number of football games
won, number of friendly teachers, amount of
time wasted in class.
•Think of what statistics would convince the
audience.
•Share an idea with the whole group.
Lesson 1

24. What does elaboration look like?
•QUOTATIONS--are words someone
says that can help support your idea or
argument.
“Spaying or neutering
dogs and cats is the
single best gift a pet
owner can give.”
Dr. Stein, the
veterinarian from
the animal
shelter, agreed
when she said,
Lesson 1

25. Develop your point with quotations.
Student Sample
Another reason to graduate from
high school is that even technical jobs
require a diploma. Jared Turner from
Best Performance Welding magazine
states, “We won’t even consider hiring
a person without a high school
diploma. Our workers need to read
the job specs, monitor equipment
performance, and write orders and
reports.” Turner went on to describe
the many qualified applicants who
compete for positions in his busy firm.
This seems to be different from the
good old days and makes a pretty
decent point about staying in school.
Lesson 1

26. QUOTATION –your turn
•Quotations or simple dialogue can add
information and credibility to your idea or
argument.
•Tell your classmate what a world famous
principal and author of The Best Schools
for Kids might say about your school.
Lesson 1

27. What does elaboration look like?
•DESCRIPTIONS --are ways to create vivid
images for the reader.
The sound of my phone cut through the silent class, and
I anxiously dug into my backpack to grab it before Mrs.
Schuman, the writing teacher, noticed. Pawing through
Chapstick, lipstick, gum wrappers, and rubber hair wraps,
my hand darted around the deep pockets of my backpack.
“Must shut off ringer,” I thought.
Lesson 1

28. Develop your point with description.
Student Sample
Lesson 1
Jackie walked slowly to
the Vietnam Veterans’
Memorial exhibit. In her
hands were two yellow
daffodils that she had
brought with her on the
hour-long bus ride.
Their green
stems, snapped from
the patch in the
backyard, were slowly
drying out.

29. DESCRIPTION –your turn
•Description can take many forms and still be
effective. Show, don’t just tell,your reader. Be
specific with your word choice. Try to create an
image that appeals to your reader’s senses.
•Work with your partner and write a paragraph
that describes the cafeteria at your school.
Elaborate using sensory details.
Lesson 1