Islamic Sex Education: Part #1: Healthy Relationships

This is Part #1 of the "Islamic Sex Education" lessons.
This presentation discusses relationships between opposite genders from and Islamic perspective.

1. Islamic Sex Education (Part 1): Healthy Relationships: Created by: Banan Mahmaljy Obeid

2. Relationships Definition: A connection, association or involvement. A Connection between persons by blood or marriage . An emotional or other connection between people (teachers and students, peers, etc)

3. External Influences Potential to impact relationships and behavior Media Parents Culture Peers Society

4. Internal Influences Potential to impact relationships and behavior Values (guided by the Q u ran & Sunnah) Curiosity Interests Desires Fears/Insecurities

5. Encouraged Relationships Advice one another: “The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” 9:71 Enrichment/Learn from our differences “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”

6. Forbidden Relationships “A man should not seclude himself with a woman except that there be with her someone who is of unmarriageable kin (mahram).” [Bukhari, Muslim] "When a man and woman are alone together, Satan is the third." [Tirmidhi]

7. Describe the changes in friendships that one might experience as a result of puberty, and evaluate what it means to be a boyfriend or girlfriend Can Boys & Girls Be Friends?

8. Story Time: Prophet Yusuf and Zulaikha O ur beauty is a test When P. Yusuf was sold as a slave in Egypt, he ended up living in the Palace of the Prime Minister, Al-Azeez. P. Yusuf grew to become the MOST charming, handsome man ever!! He was t he NUMBER ONE eligible bachelor of his time . H is good looks, characteristics & intelligence drew lots of attention. This was the p erfect scenario for the shaytan to creep in. The Azeez’s wife Zulaikha had her eye on Yusuf. عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ

9. The Quran tells of the story of how Zulaikha entrapped Yusuf to seduce him. The Quran didn’t specify the steps that led up the scene….. But we know that shaytan uses small steps to get people to commit haram acts. We know this wasn’t a one-time attempt because of the word “rawadathu”. She had been trying to get his attention for a while, but he wouldn’t pay attention to her . The Ayah says she locked the DOORS (plural) She waited until Yusuf was inside the room and nobody was around. This must have been in a location of the castle where there are many halls with doors, so as she walked down the halls, she locked the doors, one at a time until she reached the room he was in. She came in and said “HAYTA LAK…. “Quickly Come to me…” She is giving him an order, and we have to remember that he is her slave. عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ

10. The situation Yusuf was in was a big TEST… He was not an angel. He was a y oung, unmarried man alone in a room with a beautiful woman. Zulaikha was his boss and he had been taught to follow her orders.   Ma’ath Allah! Allah protect me! LESSON: The first thingYusuf did when he faced a fitnah was to mention Allah’s name. 1- Shaytan runs away when Allah’s name is spoken. 2- The reminder that Allah is watching helps you overcome the temptation.

11. Discuss: We are not held responsible for our desires. Allah put those inside of us. We are responsible for how we act . Example: Food is halal but Allah allows you to view it as haram until iftar time. You are NOT held responsible for feeling hungry during fasting. You didn’t act on your hunger, you didn’t eat. In the same way, you are not held responsible for finding someone from the opposite gender attractive. Having a thought isn’t a sin. We are not angels. Discuss: * How does a believer vs non-believer view success? * When u commit a sin does it affect those around you?

12. Never belittle the small things… Small steps are always the steps to bigger ones …. Why did Allah place rules between genders? Every rule Allah places is for our protection from slipping into sins. People who fall into haram relationships don’t just jump into haram instantly. Shaytan is smart and he works step by step … (discuss Adam’s story) Haram between genders starts with a smile, a text, a laugh, a high-five, a hug, a kiss. If a Prophet didn’t take a risk with his Iman, why would you? Yusuf was honest with himself about his humanity. Do we think we are immune? عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ

13. Story Time: Musa & the Girl When P. Musa escaped the Pharoah and fled Egypt, he found himself in the city of Madyan. In the center of the city, he found people gathering around the community well . P eople took their animals and buckets there to collect water . He noticed two girls standing to the side with their sheep. W e can't get near the water until everyone leaves. Our dad is an old man and he can't help us. عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ The women were weak or so nobody let them have a turn. Even though Musa (AS) exhausted, starving, and thirsty, he still wanted to help others. W hat's wrong? وَلَمَّا وَرَدَ مَآءَ مَدْيَنَ وَجَدَ عَلَيْهِ أُمَّةً مِّنَ النَّاسِ يَسْقُونَ وَوَجَدَ مِن دُونِهِمُ امْرَأَتَينِ تَذُودَان قَالَ مَا خَطْبُكُمَا قَالَتَا لاَ نَسْقِى حَتَّى يُصْدِرَ الرِّعَآءُ وَأَبُونَا شَيْخٌ كَبِيرٌ

14. Musa Helps the Girls Musa (AS) took their sheep and pushed through all the men. The men were intimidated by his strength, so they made way for him. He forgot his own thirst and pushed all the men to the side. The two girls were watching him use his strength to do good unlike all the other people who usually used their strength to oppress others. The girls took their animals and now filled buckets of water, thanked Musa, and left. Musa (AS) turned around and sat back under the shade of a tree. He didn’t chat unnecessarily with the girls, nor did they stay behind to chat with him. عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ فَسَقَى لَهُمَا

15. Musa is Repaid for his Kindness Moments later, P. Musa saw one of the girls walking towards him. Allah describes the way the girl walked “with modesty” This is an example of how men and women should interact with one another. “My dad invites you to our house to thank you for your help.” فَجَآءَتْهُ إِحْدَاهُمَا تَمْشِى  عَلَى اسْتِحْيَآءٍ قَالَتْ إِنَّ أَبِى يَدْعُوكَ لِيَجْزِيَكَ أَجْرَ مَا سَقَيْتَ لَنَا W e saw a strong man and he helped us and he was so modest he didn't even look at us and barely said anything. عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ The girls’ father had noticed that they had returned from the well much faster than usual. The girl’s had told their father what happened and He was impressed by P. Musa’s modesty. That is why he invited him to their home, and later invited him to marry one of his daughters.

16. Protective Islamic Guidelines Lower your Gaze Dress Modestly, walk and talk with modesty No khalwa (being alone) No flirting No perfume No Emails, texting or calling except in a professional, respectful manner. Note : Once you are attracted to the opposite gender, (reach puberty) you become responsible for your actions. Islamically you are treated like an adult weather you are 50 or 15 years old . These rules are the same for both married and non-married Muslims

17. Allah’s Rules are for our Benefit All the rules Allah has placed, are there to protect us from falling into a large sin, which is comitting zina (adultery). We will discuss the (emotional/medical/societal) ill-effects of zina in the following sessions. The laws of Islam are there like guard rails. Living with them is like living in a gated community. It keeps the good in, the keeps the bad out.