Parenting and Family Ties Counselling in the Home.ppt

The PowerPoint Presentation is based on the book, 'Parenting: Counselling in the Home.' The book seeks to address the challenges of parenting in modern living. From the onset, the authors define parenting as the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, spiritual and intellectual development of the child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting is an ongoing process. Nonetheless, it has become extremely difficult in today's society for parents, especially the ever-busy working father and/or mother and, in particular, the single parent, to adequately attend to all the needs of the child. The book helps make greater gains by assisting parents with important learning support services including a range of information on various issues in life and at home. It adopts the Positive Parenting strategic approach which is constructive, purposeful, practical and progressive. The book accomplishes this task by: (1) assisting parents in understanding the needs of the child; and, (2) providing parents with information and support about child growth and development. The book is written primarily for parents as well as a wide range of people from the helping and health professions. These include Clinical Psychologists, Counsellors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Sociologists, Social Workers, Physicians, Nurses, Teachers and other educators, members of the clergy, as well as personnel working in the home, school, education and community.

1. 8/8/2019 1Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
PARENTING AND FAMILY TIES
COUNSELLING IN THE HOME
Dr. Geoffrey Wango
Senior Lecturer
Counselling Psychology
University of Nairobi

2. 8/8/2019 2Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi

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Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
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Introduction
Part One The Parent, Home and the Child: What,
Where, How and Why
Chapter 1Parent and Parenting: Managing the Household
Chapter 2Safety in the Home and for the Family
Chapter 3Effective Family Communication
Part Two Child Upbringing: Child > Teenager > Adult Challenges
and Coping Skills
Chapter 4Child Behaviour, Managing Good Conduct and Character
Building
Chapter 5The Home, Family and the School
Chapter 6Human Sexuality during Growth and Development
Chapter 7 Adolescence: Parents and Teenagers Working Together
Part Three Onwards, The Future: Emerging and
Challenging Issues in a Moving World
Chapter 8Personality: The Self, Relationships and Management
Chapter 9Health, Healthy Living and Wellness
Chapter 10 Coping as a Single Parent: Single and Blessed
Chapter 11 Wellness and Wellbeing: Further Reflections and
Conclusions
Glossary
References

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Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
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We live together in a Global
World. It can be very
challenging as a parent to
balance all the demands of
modern living and parenting.
Yet we have to cope, and
most important bring up
happy, lovely children. That is
why guidance and
counselling, mentorship and
coaching are useful.
The book on Parenting in the
Home aims to assist in
effective parenting.

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Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
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Positive Parenting: Rationale
-Parental warmth, love and care have received long-standing
theoretical and empirical attention. The reason for this
consideration is because of the greater consequences of
parental love, warmth, and affection.
-Perceived parental acceptance is highly significant to a child
and leads to positive and appropriate social, emotional,
cognitive, spiritual and physical well-being of child.
-Conversely, the lack of, absence or diminished parental care
and concern is perceived as parental rejection and this has a
profound (negative) impact on the child and later as an adult.
-The absence or withdrawal of parental love (that is, parental
rejection) rather than parental acceptance, is critical and its
effects are highly pronounced. Rejection often produces
seriously damaging consequences for the growing child, in
adolescence as well as later as an adult.

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Positive Parenting: Rationale
-Children understand themselves to be cared about (accepted) or
not cared about (rejected) by the people most important to them
(especially parents, though this includes teachers, relatives and
other community members) in four ways:
(1)Perception of warmth / affection > (the opposite is coldness /
lack of affection, discrimination and stigmatisation);
(2)Friendliness and kindliness > (the opposite is hostility /
aggression);
(3)Love, care and affection > (the opposite is indifference /
neglect, abuse [physical and/or psychological]);); and,
(4)Acceptance and approval, undifferentiated > (opposite is
rebuff and/or rejection).
-Rejected children tend to develop a constellation of personality
dispositions. These include: anxiety, insecurity, anger, hostility,
aggression, and passive aggression. This leads to anxiety,
depression, as well as self-injurious behaviours and can lead to
suicidal tendencies.

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Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
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Positive Parenting: Rationale
All children need three things:
(1)Love and care . This
includes providing for their
needs.
(2)Teaching and instruction
including education
(schooling).
(3)Discipline and integrity.
You must have precincts
and discipline.

8. 8/8/2019 8Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Parent and Parenting
Who is a parent?
What is parenting?

9. 8/8/2019 9Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Parent and Parenting
-A parent is a mother, father or guardian. They may be the
biological or non-biological mother and/or father of the child, or
a guardian who adopts the child.
-Parents provide for the child's security, as well as their
emotional and physical needs. These include love, comfort and
warmth. They also protect the child from harm, as well as
impart in them values, norms and skills congruent with societal
expectations. Societies distinguish between a child who may
not be able to provide for self and are not considered
responsible enough, and adults who can take care of self,
others and be able to make responsible decisions. The different
role of parents varies throughout life. The child is therefore a
member of the family.
-A family is a group of people who are related by blood, adoption
or marriage. It consists of one or two parents and their child or
children.

10. 8/8/2019 10Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Parent and Parenting
-Parenting is the holistic process of promoting and
supporting the physical, emotional, social, spiritual
and intellectual development of a child from infancy to
adulthood. It is the activity of raising a child rather
than the biological relationship.
-Among human beings, parenting is usually performed
by the biological parent/s of the child. In modern
society, the government and the society take a keen
role as well. This is the case for orphaned, abused or
abandoned children, and those in difficult
circumstances. Such children may have to receive
care and support from non-biological parent/s, blood
relations through adoption, foster care or placement
in children’s homes.

11. 8/8/2019 11Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
The Home, Family and the Child
-Parenting is much more than the biological bringing up of
children, behavioural management and discipline. It is the joy of
watching as a child grows up responsibly, not just in the
physical (body) sense, but also spiritual (soul) and mind. With
time and effort, the parent effectively assists the child to grow to
maturity, become independent, responsible, develop self-worth,
and adopt healthy behaviours that can help them function
effectively in society.
-Parenting also involves helping a child (and all the children)
develop social skills, personal interests, respect for self and
others, and ways of handling and expressing their emotions. It
also involves imparting life values and skills including honesty,
integrity and responsibility.
-Parents need to feel confident about what they can provide to
the child. This includes their own wisdom and guidance, as well
as support and mentoring the child.

12. 8/8/2019 12Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
The Home, Family and the Child
Father Mother
Child
Child
Child
Level 1
Parents
Level 2
Children
Level 3
Parents
and
Children

13. 8/8/2019 13Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Parent’s Pledge to a child
The following TEN guidelines are clearly set aside to guide
you as a parent:
1.Give the child love and affection.
2.Set aside quantity and quality time to spend with the child.
3.Provide security for the child.
4.Recognise that the child has rights and responsibilities; respect
the rights and at the same time instil a sense of responsibility.
5.Assist the child learn self-discipline and self-control with, and
through effective discipline and politeness.
6.Understand child development stages. You can learn about the
age appropriate development so that you can have, and set
realistic expectations for the child.
7.Teach the child clear rules and procedures to ensure health
and safety.
8.Teach the child positive norms and attitudes, while avoiding
unnecessary criticism.
9.Teach the child moral and ethical values.
10.Raise the child in a stable, secure environment.

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Safety and security
The foundation of strong self-esteem is
achieved by providing a child with a safe
and secure home and school. Safety and
security are achieved through providing the
following: warmth and love; respect; and, a
caring and trusting relationship with
parents, family, friends, and adults.

15. 8/8/2019 15Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Positive Parenting leads to effective Growth
and Development
Language and Language Development
(increase in vocabulary, improved
grammar).
Etiquette / decorum (appropriate and
acceptable societal norms).
Code of conduct (Behaviour and values).
Duties and Responsibilities (at home, in
school and later in life).
Handling emotions appropriately.
Intelligences (academic, social and
emotional intelligences).
Spiritual growth and development.

16. 8/8/2019 16Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Developing Play: FOLLOW the Child
Play is the most natural way through which children
learn. FOLLOW the child directions:
Fun. The purpose of play is fun. Make the play
enjoyable and exciting.
Objective. Have realistic objectives when playing.
In that case, games should be organised.
Leading play. Follow the child’s lead when
beginning and during play, lead the child so that
play is purposeful.
Language and other social skills. Develop language,
social, physical, sensory and living skills, among
others during play.
Organisation of play. Activities should be short.
Whole family. Involve the entire family as much as
possible.

17. Types of Play:
Parallel, Cooperative and Solitary Play
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18. 8/8/2019 18Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
-Parenting is life-long. Therefore, caring for the child is very
important. Children need to be well looked after, loved,
provided with basic needs including food, clothing and
protection. They must feel secure. Children do not just
grow up; growing up is more of a natural aspect. Children
develop, and development comes with discipline and
character. The role of a parent is essential in this process.
-When the child grows up, the core principles and morals
you will have implanted will remain intact. The child will of
course grow older, worldlier and hopefully wiser. In turn,
he or she will have become more socially and
economically well-grounded. Soon, the child will be a
father and a husband, a mother and a wife with all those
roles as well as attend to social responsibilities and
expectations.
Parenting is a Responsibility

19. 8/8/2019 19Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Responsible Parenting SPEAKS to the Child
A responsible parent SPEAKS to the child as follows:
1.Sets clear limits for the child including regulations
as well as boundaries.
2.Pays close attention to the child’s feelings.
3.Ensures consistency and understanding in all
actions.
4.Asks the child to explain his/her feelings, thoughts
and actions and listens carefully.
5.Knows limits: be reasonable, do not be too strict,
nor too permissive.
6.Spells out acceptable behaviour and norms to the
child. That is, the parent instructs and trains the
child.

20. 8/8/2019 20Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Family Values
A family will have a set of values. Parents are the chief sources of
information that include societal values and beliefs and a code of
conduct. These values are aimed at character formation. Family
values are based on the wider society and include the following:
(1) Honesty. This is being truthful. It is the ability to be sincere and
stand by the truth.
(2) Self-discipline. This is personal effort in self-control and self-will. It
includes personal management and conduct.
(3) Fairness. A person must be fair and just to all. This includes aspects
of equity and justice.
(4) Hard work and determination. It is important to be focussed, make
effort, work hard and with consistency.
(5) Courage, confidence and competence. A person must be encouraged
to have confidence in self and proficiency of skills.
(6) Citizenship. A person must follow the laws of the community and
nation.
(7) Responsibility. A person must be accountable for what they do and
say.
(8) Respect. Respect is about thinking highly of self as well as others.
(9) Morality. Morals guide on what is right and wrong.
(10) Integrity. A person must act on conscientious values at all times.

21. 8/8/2019 21Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Positive Parenting – Growth and
Development

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The following are suggested to guide the parent in
responsible parenting and to transform the child into
ADULTHOOD . This is in order to obtain the best from
the child:
Assign the child clear duties and responsibilities.
Do not scold but nurture the child.
Understand the child and his/her needs.
Learn from children; their character and actions are
often a reflection of us.
Teach the child new things, habits and attitudes.
Hold the child to comfort him/her, and to walk along with
you.
Offer training and clear instruction to the child to
develop orderliness and neatness. The child becomes
organised with eating and dressing, room, books, and
school.
Offer support when the child needs it, especially in crisis.
Dedicate time, love and adequate finances for your child.
ADULTHOOD

23. 8/8/2019 23Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
TEACH your Child Etiquette
The following are aspects of instilling good manners to
TEACH the child:
-Teach the child so that he/she can learn basic words such as
to call you, ‘mum’ and ‘dad’. This should be done politely, not
yelling, screaming or shouting.
-Enhance the vocabulary of your child to say simple polite
words like ‘hi’, ‘hallo’, ’ok’, ‘thank you’, ‘can I’, ‘sorry’.
-Activate your child. For instance, let him/her learn to wait
and hence embrace patience when necessary such as waiting
on food to be cooked, warming tea or milk, or observing
vehicles to cross the road. Enhance aspects such as respect
and rights of others.
-Challenge unbecoming behaviour. For example, ‘I did say
you wait for a while’; let the child sit down and/or wait.
-Humble yourself to demonstrate respect and politeness. Do
not shout back – the child can be fearful of you, or worse
learn to shout more loudly!
Etiquette

24. 8/8/2019 24Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Instilling ETIQUETTE in the Child
Educate your child on good manners.
Tell your child why he/she should have good manners and
how to behave.
Inform him or her gradually on rules of good conduct.
Question the child when he/she does not behave, act, or talk
well and also raise an alarm with any unbecoming
behaviour.
Understand your child’s feelings, especially when he/she is
unhappy or upset.
Equip your child with polite words, such as ‘please’, ‘may I’
or ‘can I’, ‘thank you’, and other ways of polite behaviour.
Teach your child how to behave in various situations; at
home, at the table, religious ceremonies (solemnity) and
social places.
Talk about other people and situations, especially those that
they admire, and use the opportunity to instil good manners.
Explain and demonstrate by example. You must model for
your child politeness, humility, respect and self-control.

25. 8/8/2019 25Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Childhood Chores, Duties and Responsibilities
Parents want to bring up responsible children. Child performance of
chores helps in the management of various duties in the household
and later in life. There will be minor, temporary disarray and this is
unavoidable. For example, the child may spill water, may break a few
items and their bed may not be as smooth. The parent should assist
with care and not quarrel so that the child can gain confidence in
his/her own abilities and with time perfect the art. The idea is for the
family to work together to keep the home reasonably neat and tidy.
This enhances a sense of belonging. This requires the child to
perform simple to more complex activities such as follows:
Tidying up toys
Keeping the toys in an orderly way
Putting things away after using them
Placing dirty clothes in a basket
Tidying up the bed
Making the room
Tidying up the compound

26. 8/8/2019 26Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
You and Your Child Or Children
Over time, it is important for us as parents to learn to
live with our child/ren, respect them and give them the
best: 
1. Pray for your child and with your child.
2. Play with the child.
3. Tell stories to your child.
4. Learn to love all children equally.
5. Take the child to places of worship from an early age.
6. Formulate goals for the child at home.
7. Let the child take part in family issues.
8. As a parent, take part in activities that involve your
child.
9. Learn to discipline your child and not to punish.
10. Take time with the child.
11. Learn to appreciate the child.
12.Teach your child basic etiquette and communication.
13. Provide for the child.
14. Pray for your family and mention the child/ren by
name.

27. 8/8/2019 27Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Children’s Mental Health and Improved Mental
Health
-Psychiatric symptoms are natural experiences emerging in the
realm of ordinary daily life as people interact with the environment.
In the mental health field, there is a growing awareness that the
study of psychiatric symptoms should be extended to the context
of every day. This is to provide information on contextual factors
and conventional approaches in order to identify effective
intervention strategies towards improved health. This includes
children’s health, particularly their mental health.
-A child's health and well-being includes emotional stability and
mental health. A child’s mental health implies that the child feels
secure, relates well with others, and fosters his/her own growth at
home and at school. This is achieved by helping to build a child’s
confidence and competence.
-Parents, teachers and other adults play a critical role in ensuring
the overall growth and development of children as well as their
well-being.

28. 8/8/2019 28Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
The following 10 Tips are suggested to enhance a child’s mental health:
1)Ensure the child is safe, secure and in good health.
2)Always be there for the child, physically present and emotionally supportive.
3)Bend or lean over to offer a listening ear. Keenly listen to the child and
particularly his/her concerns. This includes questions, fears and anxiety.
4)Allow children adequate breaks at home, school, between meals and when
feeding. For example, do not confine them to any one single activity for too long
no matter how meaningful you consider it as an adult.
5)Ensure the child is always supervised by responsible adults in order to feel
safe and secure.
6)Model politeness and forgiveness. This shapes children and enables them to
effectively regulate their emotions.
7)Allow the child active play that includes politeness and turn taking. Also, allow
him or her to express his/her feelings in appropriate ways.
8)Respond calmly and encourage the child when his/her emotions are involved.
9)Reassure the child of his/her safety and security, especially when threatened.
10)Take time with the child to reassure him/her of your support, care and
concerns.

29. 8/8/2019 29Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Children’s Mental Health and Improved Mental Health
The emotional and physical health well-being of a child is very important.
Ensure the child is healthy and free from illnesses. Parents should have a
warm, open relationship with children so that they will be able to tell you if they
are troubled. A parent or teacher should listen to the child and take his/her
feelings seriously. If the child is experiencing a mental health problem, seek
help from a qualified doctor or mental health professional.
The following are highly discouraged, with suggested appropriate conduct:
1.Do not quarrel or shout at the child. > Instead, guide him/her in an appropriate
way, including explaining and demonstrating desired behaviour.
2.Do not ignore the child. > Pay careful attention including listening to him or her.
3.Do not belittle the child. > Point out any mistakes, state your expectations and
guide him/her towards desirable behaviour.
4.Do not keep the child in (solitary) confinement for unnecessarily too long. > You
can remove him/her from an activity such as playing if he/she misbehaves, but do
not torture him/her.
5.Do not deny the child basic needs such as food and sleep as a punishment. >
Instead, provide direction on desired conduct.
6.Avoid insulting words and asking hurtful questions. > When and if you are upset,
calm down or take a quick break in order to control your anger.
7.Avoid lecturing the child, moralizing his/her issues and offering unnecessary
advice. > In its place, teach, model and shape the child.

30. 8/8/2019 30Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Positive Parenting = Counselling
Parental counselling involves both care and
guidance to the child demonstrated as follows:
C Comfort and Care to the child.
O Ongoing, that is, life- long.
U Life has Uncertainties.
N Navigation skills.
S Strengthen the child.
E Educate the child.
L Loving is very important.
L Learning is critical.
I Information is essential.
N Nursing feelings and dealing with emotions.
G The presence of God.

31. 8/8/2019 31Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Child DisciplineChild Discipline

32. 8/8/2019 32Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Appropriate Values, Principles and Discipline
A parent must impart appropriate values and principles. This
includes training and role modelling with love and example. This
does not mean that the parent lives the child’s life; rather, allow the
child to be innovative, though the child may wander off and make a
few mistakes from which they can learn. Conduct several activities
as a family that help instil positive values. Appropriate activities
enable you to monitor and at the same time reward positive
behaviour. These include attending religious (spiritual, faith-based)
sessions; mountain/hill climbing; walk in the park; visiting destitute
children; visiting extended family members; household chores;
fishing and farming, among others that help keep the family
positively engaged. Additionally, children should engage in play.
Adolescents should engage in creative and sporting activities such
as basketball, hockey and athletics amongst others. This ensures
that the young persons are gainfully occupied and the rush of
hormones is purposefully driven to undertake positive activities. This
also helps guard against the whirlwinds of adolescence and young
age.

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Appropriate Values, Principles and Discipline
Effective Instructions
It is important that you give clear instructions or make your request well
understood. This is most essential when you are dealing with children,
particularly when you want the instructions to be carried out, and to be adhered
to in future.
Use the following procedure:
(1) Call the child by name or other verbal cues to gain attention.
(2) Once the child or children have your attention, establish eye-contact and
pause.
(3) Give your instruction in simple words and clearly.
(4) You can confirm by a nod or even ask the child ‘is it clear Joan’.
(5) Repeat the instruction, if necessary.
(6) Give the child a chance to do what you instructed or requested.
(7) Thank the child.
-A major part of discipline is through training. Training includes
instructions and guidelines. Instructions spell out expectations as well as
limitations. This is achieved through clear rules and regulations.
-Rules and limits should be made with love. They should be clearly
explained and used only sparingly. They should not be prohibitive but
experiential. This is because rules and regulations should be applicable
and continue naturally in line with life activities.

34. 8/8/2019 34Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top
Tips

35. 8/8/2019 35Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
Babies
-Spend as much time with the child so
that you can understand him/her.
-Ensure house and home are safe and
secure, including putting aside or
removing cherished and dangerous
items.
-Avoid loud sounds, dropping of noisy
objects and shouting at the baby as
this makes him/her either go quiet or
cry as he/she is startled (alarmed) by
the sound.
-Do not overly assist the baby, or ‘baby
proof’ your house or home. Instead,
understand that the house and home
is the child’s training ground.

36. 8/8/2019 36Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
Toddlers
-Spend time with the child. This is because he/she
requires lots of consistent and appropriate
understanding and discipline. This helps the child to
get well acquainted with the world.
-Introduce the following: (1) self control; and, (2)
effective discipline using simple rules and
instructions. This includes: (1) teaching and
instructing the child: and, (2) outlining boundaries.
-Procedures have two effects: (a) sets out rules of
conduct at an early age; and, (b) teaches the child
independence, but also self-control and respect for
authority. This is the basis to regulate behaviour at
an early age. At the same time, give the child as
much freedom within those restrictions to enhance
creativity and innovativeness and ensure child does
not become dormant
-Empathise with your child by:
(1) Assisting when necessary.
(2)Talking to him or her, for example, saying “I can see
you are tired. Keep trying”.
-Avoid shouting, giving orders and ultimatums.

37. 8/8/2019 37Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
Teenagers
-Spend time with the child.
-Instil discipline by inducting clear
rules and instructions.
-Empathise with your child by:
(1) Assisting when necessary.
(2)Talking to him or her.
-Be willing and give your child
chances to show he/she can be
trusted and you have confidence in
them.
-Consider ways to negotiate or offer
choices as your child gets older.

38. 8/8/2019 38Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
Teenagers
-Avoid shouting, yelling, giving
orders and ultimatums.
-Avoid criticism. Instead, explain
your expectations and emphasize
that it is the action and not them
that you’re unhappy with.
-Avoid getting trapped in petty
arguments as there are rarely any
winners.
-Do not give threats.
-Avoid an unforgiving spirit – Do
not say or fail to forgive the child.

39. 8/8/2019 39Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
-Spend time with the child.
-Keep guidance simple and consistent.
-If the child is behaving inappropriately,
clearly explain what you want him/her
to do instead.
-Be available and make time so that
children will come to you when they
feel something is wrong, upset or want
to consult with you.
-Keep talking and listening to your child
even if at times it feels like a challenge.
-Listening from a very early age sets a
pattern for life.

40. 8/8/2019 40Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
-Review family rules as the child gets
older.
-Recognise the different needs of the
child/ren.
-Get support from spouse, friends,
family, teachers and others.
-Try good ideas that are helpful.
-If you are struggling and things are
getting out of hand, get advice (for
example from teachers, counsellors,
psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors,
religious leaders, social workers or
other useful persons).

41. 8/8/2019 41Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
Build a positive relationship
with the child.

42. 8/8/2019 42Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
Parent
Shaping
and
Mentoring
Present to the child positive and
encouraging words day after
day. This training and
instruction enables the child
understand you. That way, you
shape and systematically model
the child. Avoid shouting and
yelling at the child (particularly
when you are upset and/or
angry). Instead, guide him/her
and if possible, provide
guidelines including
instructions on what you want
done.

43. 8/8/2019 43Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
Mentor the child.

44. 8/8/2019 44Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
Remember, you are the adult
and you are in charge. In that
case, you must know and do
what is best for the child. This
includes setting up certain
routines and assisting the
child to adhere to them.

45. 8/8/2019 45Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Take good care of yourself
Top tips...
All Ages

46. 8/8/2019 46Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
A great parent continues with
the trio of: love and care;
training and instruction; and,
enhanced discipline.

47. 8/8/2019 47Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
Seek professional assistance in
areas and times of difficulty

48. 8/8/2019 48Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Top tips...
All Ages
Provide assistance to the child in
areas and times of difficulty

49. 8/8/2019 49Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Positive Parenting
The flavour of the book on Parenting: Counselling in the Home is the
way it captures the nature of upbringing a child and parenting in a
positive, encouraging way. Some aspects might be rather too obvious to
escape the immediate attention of the parent, while others would appear
a bit too complicated, but they are not farfetched or unrealistic
expectations. The book and this PowerPoint presentation are by no
means exhaustive, and parenting is much more. Parenting is training,
intuition, experience, consultation, modelling, coaching and much more,
all in one as well as action in form of intervention. There will be
expectations as well as interactional difficulties. Life too certainly has its
own pleasant surprises, whether these are positive or negative, painful
or wonderful moments. Parents must always seek additional
information, knowledge and skills. We must also seek wisdom in our
religious philosophy. There are certainly several mesmerising verses in
the Bible and Quran and when you think you have found them all, you
discover new meaning in one or another. In the end, life is wonderful
with God, as we diligently serve God, particularly as parents.

50. 8/8/2019 50Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Selected References
American Counselling Association (2014). ACA Code of Ethics. American Counselling
Association.
American Psychiatric Association (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders DSM - 5. Washington, D C: American Psychiatric Association.
Barker, P. (2007). Basic Family Therapy. Wiley-Blackwell.
Becvar, D. S.. & Becvar, R. J. (2008). Family Therapy: A Systematic Integration. Boston:
Allyn & Bacon.
Carr, A. (2006). Family Therapy. Chichester: Wiley.
Collins, G. R. (2007). Christian Counselling: A Comprehensive Guide. London:
Melbourne, Word Publishers.
Conte, C. (2009). Advanced Techniques for Counselling and Psychotherapy. New York:
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Corey, M. S., & Corey, G. (2003). Becoming a Helper. Brooks / Cole Publishing Co.
Cottone, R. R., & Tarvydas, V. (2016). Ethics and Decision Making in Counselling and
Psychotherapy. New York: Springer Publishing Company.

51. 8/8/2019 51Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Selected References
Denborough, D. (2001). Family Therapy: Exploring the Field’s Past, Present and
Possible Futures. Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications.
 
Egan, E. (2002). The Skilled Helper: A Problem - Management and Opportunity –
Development Approach to Helping. Chicago: Brook / Cole.
 
Feltham, C. (2013). Counselling and Counselling Psychology: A Critical Examination.
Monmouth, PCCS Books.
 
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Psychotherapy. London: Sage Publications.
 
Goldenberg, I., & Goldenberg, H. (2008). Family Therapy: An Overview. Belmont, CA:
Thomson Brooks/Cole.
 
Gupta, R. M., & Theus, F. C. (2006). Pointers for Parenting for Mental Health Service
Professionals. John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.
 
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Therapy. New York: Haworth Clinical Practice Press.

52. 8/8/2019 52Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Selected References
Hudson, R. H. (1996). Marital Counselling; Successful Counselling Sessions.
Philadelphia: Fortress Press.
McGoldrick, M., Gerson, R., & Petry, S. S. (2008) (6
th
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and Bacon.
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Boston: Pearson / Allyn & Bacon.
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Prentice, Hall, New Jersey.
Sholevar, G. P., & Schwoeri, L. D. (2003). Textbook of Family and Couples Therapy:
Clincal Applications. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Publishing Inc.
Stahmann, R. F., & Hiebert, W. J. (1987). Premarital Counselling: The Professional’s
Handbook. D.C. Heath and Company.
Wango, G. M. (2015). Counselling Psychology in Kenya: A Contemporary Review of the
Developing World. Nairobi: Kenya Literature Bureau.

53. 8/8/2019 53Dr Geoffrey Wango, Psychology Department, University of Nairobi
Selected References
Wango, G. M., & Mungai, E. K. (2007). Counselling in the School: A Handbook for
Teachers. Nairobi: Phoenix Publishers.
 
Wango, G. M., & Gatere, A. W. (2016). Study Skills for Secondary School Learners.
Nairobi: The Jomo Kenyatta Foundation.
Wango, G. M., & Gatere, A. W. (2019). Parenting: Counselling in the Home. Nairobi: The
Jomo Kenyatta Foundation.
Woolfe, R., Strawbridge, S., Douglas, B., & Dryden, W. (Eds.). (2010). Handbook of
Counselling Psychology. Sage Publications Ltd.
 
Worthington, E. L. (1988). Marriage Counselling: A Christian Approach to Counselling
Couples. Illinois: Intervarsity Press Downers Grove.
 
Young, M. E. (2001). Learning the Art of Helping: Building Blocks and Techniques.
Merrill Prentice, Hall, New Jersey.
 
Zagelbaum, A., & Carlson, J. (Eds.) (2010). Working with Immigrant Families: A
Practical Guide for Counsellors. Routledge.